Day 2. I will not gamble no more. Can't control it. I should know that, I should never have gambled again. Crazy. Why did I gamble because I'm an addict. I have a problem. That's why I'm back on here. I hope this diary can help. I'm keeping it anonymous due to not telling anyone of my slip. Everyone knows I have a problem and I was doing very well. This slip is financially of no great consequence annoying but a small percent of my overall debt (that's how I've rightly or wrongly justified not telling anyone as no extra harm has really been caused) but its clear from how I gambled and the feelings I had that I still have the pure addiction and no matter what reasons I have for not gambling it wouldn't matter.
So no gambling. The journey continues.
Day 2, here we go again.
Day 5. No gambling for me
im back on day 1 myself aftrer 18 years + of gambling. We can beat this. stay strong
Day 11. Thanks John and best wishes to you.
I can't gamble again. I can't let everyone down - again!
Continuing this diary. I start again once more. I have had so many day ones. I hate this addiction so much. I hate myself so much. I should have so much more in my life (not just talking money) I missed out on so much.
BUT I have so much I am lucky in many ways and I have to switch my mindset I don't know how. I'm reading some self help type books, maybe I should get councilling I don't know but I need to accept the situation enjoy and be thankful for what I have and understand there are no short cuts. I must quit gambling for my financial and emotional health. The debt will be paid, it will take 5, 6 maybe 7 years but who cares. I have to remember it doesn't matter. No one is chasing me for cash, I pay my repayments and If I can step away from that mindest I can enjoy what I have and not waste my life. I'm wasting these years and it needs to stop. I need to learn to enjoy life again because I've forgotten. I feel lost is the best way to describe it. I feel blind to I suppose - I have so much but can't see it.
I don't know what to do but being back here is a start if I can get some distance from gambling that will clear my head and then I can plan both financially and emotionally what I want to do. I need to figure it all out. I want it all fixed now but that just isn't possible and I'm gonna need to show some patience.
Day 1.
I need to first treat this seriously. Quit gaming, get my head clear and then decide how to handle this release. Who do u tell if anyone, do I need further councilling. Are my problems just gambling? How do I handle the financial side of it all. There's a 100 questions and I can't answer any clearly right now.
I need to get to 30 days bet free I'd say, let the mist clear and then sort myself out. That's the tentative first plan.
For now then just some gamble free goals.
Get to next Monday morning bet free, survive the weekend and the weekend.
Get to 10 days.
Get to 30 days.
Get to 50 days.
Get to 60 days.
Get to 90 days.
Get to 100 days.
Get to 200 days.
Get to 300 days.
Get to 365 days.
Get to 400/500/600/700.
Get to 730.
And beyond.
OK got carried away with the numbers there but I need to get that far and beyond!
Day 2. Feeling a bit better today. Getting back on here is a sign I'm going to get right, I'm still burying my head on the damage caused, I'm not ready to face things fully yet and make decisions, I need a clearer head for that. But I'll get there.
Hi Anon :)) .
You know the old saying about putting off till tommorow what you can do today ? , Why wait a month for your head to clear ? , I'm not saying tackle all of your problems this instant but maybe just deal with one small problem or issue each day , it'll give you something to focus on as well as not giving yourself a month of time in which to plot how you'll get your money back gambling again , Idle hand's and all that ?? .
Mabe getting all your blocks in place but watertight ones not leaving doors open ? Being honest with those around you that need to know ? Councelling , Ga , therapy ?? all thing's you maybe haven't tried but should ? Or at least handing over financial control if you can't do it alone ?.
As for the day's well for now just getting through till tommorow will do , then those weeks and month's will take care of themself :))
Little steps are the key :)) x
Brilliant advice a9 try and tackle one problem at a time, maybe write a list of you're problems and tackle one at a time not one problem each day but one at a time at ur pace. Good luck. If it feels like too much to do and u get emotional take a break.
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Ifit gets too much ring netline or Samaritans ​its what their there for. We've all paid for this counselling service why not use them ive done netline a huge number of times and it really helps.
Day 4. Thank you very much for the advice and support. Really appreciated and can't deny it's great advice. I think I'll get a list together - funny you said that cos I love a to do list lol.
Busy few days hence no post yesterday and this won't be to long. But busier the better right now as you say idle hands!
Thanks again and I'll get on the right path again.
Day 6. Good morning. I won't be having a bet today. I have placed my last bet, I won't ever have another. I will enjoy life, be thankful for what I have and not go chasing hidden riches that won't be found. No quick fixes, they don't exist. I can't win because I can't stop.
Well done Anon0000
Some positive mantras there; glad you found us, keep posting your thoughts, your feelings, just get it all out. Be patient and good to yourself. Realisic expectations, keep them achievable, as simple as getting through the next hour without a bet; it all adds up and helps build your confidence. Give us a call on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or chat to us via our NL if you ever need support.
Forum Admin
Thank you for the post it's much appreciated. Although I'm back into the darkness of the addiction, over the years gamcare has been a massive help and I'll never forget that. I know the site can help me get back to living my life the way I want to.
Day 13 unlucky for some so guess I won't gamble! I'm in a better place and slowly coming out of the gambling coma.
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