another day in poo land

Hi Jaynie - Well done both of you for taking the joint decision to rid yourselves of this awful and destructive addiction. You'll find loads of support and encouragement here - if you read other people's stories you will see that you are not alone in your struggle and that we all understand.

What a great thing that you are doing this together. Many people here have found it extremely difficult to tell their families or friends about their compulsive gambling but when they do it's often as if a cloud has lifted. You can give each other support in your journey to a better life, and believe me, life will be better for both of you.

Best wishes for the journey.

Joanna

P.S. Forgot to say - have you both self-excluded from all the sites you use or from the bookies, and also installed a blocking program such as K9? These barriers are great for stopping further temptation.

Thank you so much Joanna for replying.Your kind words of support have brought tears to my eyes but in a good way.Bookies are our only poison so we are going to self bar.Its great having so much support.Thanks again Jaynie xx

Aah, thank you Jaynie.... 'night, 'night', sleep well and wake up tomorrow morning to a fresh start and Day 1 of sanity. :o)

Joanna

Day one gamble free.Trivial to some maybe but a small victory for us.See you tomorrow to report day 2 gamble free.God willing.Jaynie x

Jaynie

Welcome to the forum,a place where you will receive a wealth of support and some great advice all from like minded folk who all by and large share a common goal,to arrest the destruction that their own gambling has brought.

By admitting your gambling is again beyond your control is a huge step towards beginning the journey to recovery,for that be proud,there is no cure or quick fix,but there is a re-education of your mind,a way to let the rational side of the brain overcome the addiction.

My advice the same that was gifted to me on my first day on,which still works today.

There is a triangle

Time-money-location

Take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible

As you and your partner are united on this journey the best way may be self exclusion

This has been my biggest tool in my own armoury in the fight to remain gamble free.

Get some passport photo's and photo copy them,go and self exclude with pride,you heads held high.

Why??

because through self exclusion you will both actually become winners

For us the mantra we all share is the same whilst gambling

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

that is flipped on it's head every day you make the choice to abstain

I DID WIN BECAUSE I DID STOP

each day we all have the choice to make.

Well done for making yours yesterday

Be kind to yourselves.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hello Jaynie,

IWell done for coming to the forum.

As Duncs said there is no quick fix and the awful thing is we all think we can beat gambling but the sad truth most of us will relapse at some stage. That is why GA say its a journey of recovery because metaphorically the journey will take us to some places we want to go but we can get lost if we venture off the beaten track and have to get back on the right road.

I am in no position at the moment to preach on what strategies we need to adopt as I have recently relapsed, but the message is when you make a decision to stop gambling and you do relapse it hits you like a rock falling out of space, the feeling of despair and hopelessness is magnified and each attempt to stop does get easier. Part of our recovery is to examine why we gamble, some of us know the answer to that but others have no idea and have just ended up that way. Even when you have made that decision always be aware of complacency and try to resist the "moment" which is when we get the urge to gamble, unfortunately I have been unable to do that myself lately but in the past have overcome that unbelievable urge which is so strong.

I wish you and your partner well in your recoveries and will follow your diary with interest.

Stay strong and take one day at a time.

Best wishes

Hope x

Thank you so much Duncanmac and Hopelass for your kind words of wisdom encouragement and support.If only we could take the feeling of utter despair we feel when we lose at gambling and then bottle it taking the lid off when we get tempted but we can't.The only thing we can do is keep reading and posting on these diaries so that it reminds us and keeps us in check.We have managed to get through day 2 gamble free.Been to work today and then went to the park to feed the geese.We actually the peace and quiet and it was a lovely summer evening better than being stuck in a smelly old bookies.Anyway looking forward to doing Day 3 gamble free.Goodnight all.Keep up the good work. Jaynie x

Hi Jayne

Well done on realising that gambling is a total waste of our time money and lives

Welcome to this site where you will get a lot of support to keep abstaining

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Congratulations on your day 2 of kicking the habit! I think it's a massive hurdle you've jumped. If you can do day 1 I'm positive you and your hubby can be here doing day 100 before you know it!

I'm no expert in advice, but I've fallen off the wagon a few times over the years usually with one mad big blow out brought on by boredom or emotional turmoil.

I'd suggest you and the hubby find a hobby or something to do which you enjoy to replace the gambling - so you're not left with a big hole in your day that you'd usually fill with the habit.

Once I got a cinema card and began watching a few movies each week. I also tried out tennis for a while. I get bored easy lol so I haven't kept up with any of them. My most current activity is playing a few games of pool with the Mr. and eating out more often.

Distraction worked well for me.

A trip to the GP could be useful too. Mine gave me info on support available in the area and also put me on antidepressants to help me cope at one point.

Don't give up. You've come to a good place here, this site has been invaluable to me!

So well done again on deciding to kick the gambling. I'm sure it'll be the best choice any of us have ever made 😀

Hi Jaynie,

Glad to hear you got through your first day gamble free.

Have you tried GA? I find the meetings invaluable and guess what, when I dont attend that's when I am most vulnerable. Some of the older members will always say it doesnt matter how long we havent gambled for but whats important is that we dont do that first bet, take one day at a time as one bet will always lead to another.

Keep strong, make sure you self exclude from the bookies (and your husband) and keep on posting here.

Best wishes to get to day 3.

Hope x

Thank you I wished Pinky and Hopelass for your words of advice and support.Its like having good friends that understand.We are so glad we started this diary.Hubby and I did attend GA meetings but stupidly stopped going as the place the meetings were held at wernt disabled friendly and hubby is confined to his wheelchair at the moment.He is an amputee.But perhaps wecan find another meeting further afield as they did help a lot.Anyway day 3 gamble free.As the weather has been kind we spent all day in the garden.Looking forward to day 4.Both of us are feeling strong at the moment. Jaynie x

Day 4 gamble free.Still feeling strong.Day off work spent the day ironing and watching films.How exciting is that!!!Never mind quite enjoyed doing something other than gambling.Jaynie xx

Well done Jaynie and husband on your four days free from gambling. Even simple tasks or activities take on new enjoyment and meaning when you don't have that black cloud of guilt and stress over you, caused by throwing your money away online or at the bookies.

Have a good weekend.

Joanna

We'll done on day 4....it's seems that your both committed and il look forward to reading about your future journey of gambling free....looking forward to day 100 no gambling