Today is Monday 1 April 2019. In a weeks time I will have been a compulsive gambler for 6 years. In that time I have lost thousands of pounds. Since payday last Friday I have lost over £800. It’s time to draw a line in the sand once and for all. I have realised that you can be lucky with gambling and win money but for me at least I will never come out on top because I just can’t stop. I spend hours gambling online - secretly - being able to gamble on my phone in the last 2 years has meant an escalation to the problem. I know I will never ultimately win. For me even if I won a huge jackpot I know that would mean I would just up my stake and then loose it all. I expect to loose. Today and for each day from now I intend to win by being gamble free. I had 18 weeks gamble free recently but then slid back down - the negatives are - social isolation, financial loss and worry, guilt, short temper, impatient, late for everything and the list goes on. Today I have not gambled. Tomorrow I will not gamble. They lure you with end of month incentives if you play each day but then the win is so microscopic compared to the amount you’ve put in - if you win back all your money you’d think you were rich do why not just keep it in the first place. Long ramble tonight. I’m tired with myself.
Day 2. Thoughts but no urges. Self exclusions in place on all my favourite - correction past favourite sites.
All the best Annie. Have you signed up to Gamstop? It is a must do if online gambling is your thing.
All those urges and feeling I’ve had, I look back and can’t understand why I lay in bed and bet on a u21 Mexican football match, why I was on roulette on my phone on the loo, why on Xmas day I was on my phone searching for bets......it’s embarrassing looking back, throwing away all my spare cash the same day I got paid, taking out pay day loans to gamble with.
I’d think ....just win £10 per day, it’s easy , surely I could do that and it worked for 3-4 days , you can guess how that ended.In truth it makes us make decisions we’d never ever thought we would,I lie, steal, cheat...it’s a horrible life.
So true..... thank you for your comments. I will look into Gamstop. Day 3 - doing ok.
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