Day 341.
The weeks are just racing by!! A gorgeous bright and sunny day here 😎. I was off yesterday - first part of my day was to attend a family funeral 🥲. Later however, I was booked in to have my hair done as a treat! It felt so nice paying the £80 and a fiver tip to add! This came out of one of my little savings pots I have been adding to on a weekly basis - not a lot but it soon adds up once you forget about it!👌
Off out today with my lovely sister. Training it into town 🚃. Booked in to have my iPad looked at. I accidentally scratched the entire screen when it slipped towards me whilst I was using it and drinking a cup of tea at the same time. It caught the claw of my diamond ring and continued all the way to the bottom of my screen. Right in the middle too!🙈. It was like slow motion!😭. On the plus side, it has not concerned me about how much it is going to cost/can I afford it?
We are then booked into a nice tapas for late afternoon lunch and drinks and our sister-in-law is joining us too 👌🥂🍾.
For anyone reading this and just starting out on your journey, I don’t wish to rub all of the above in/dismay you. Rather, I just want to put it out there, how much more you can be “normal” and enjoy your life without gambling.
Don’t get me wrong, you have to remain patient, especially in the early months and stay committed and even consider putting mini goals into place, which I feel, really do help you to remain positive. The benefits of which, really do outweigh the costs of continuing to gamble 👎.
Take care all and remain strong and focussed 💪🙏.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Day 343.
What a day!
I was on annual leave today due to having to attend my dentist this afternoon to start the ball rolling with all my upcoming treatment for my implants 🙈. However, whilst I thought I would have to fork out for 3 implants, it is now only 2. This brings the price down significantly!👌.
No wonder I have been in so much pain over the past 7 months on and off. My dentist said the infection is still really bad and nearing the bone!😲. He did say though that he will look after me and get everything sorted 🙏. The whole process will take 6 months in total though, which will mean I will have a gap down one side of my mouth from next Monday when the extraction work will be carried out, until September 🙈. This will mean I will be going away on holiday like this but guess what - worse things happen!
This morning was very stressful 😤. I was onto Sky as my charges are going up and I just wasn’t prepared to pay the extra. Cut a long story short (3 hours worth of phone calls to be precise)😴, I signed up with Talk Talk. I then cancelled as the advisor had misinformed me (anything to get a sale)! In the meantime, I had a message from Sky to say they could see I was leaving them. I called them back and after speaking to a lovely young lady - made even better that she was based in the U.K, she was able to offer me a really good deal 👌. So instead of paying the monthly increase of £6.00 from April on top of what I am currently paying, I will now be paying £17.00 less per month to remain on my existing package!😲👍. The 3 hours stress on the phone this morning was well worth it 👏👏.
Talking finances still. I am so pleased that my dental costs are a lot less than was originally discussed. I mentioned earlier on in my diary that our service charges on my apartment are going up in April and as if this wasn’t bad enough, all 9 residents have got to cough up just over an extra 3k in September towards the cost of our new windows being fitted this month 🤬 as the ridiculous cost of having them done is more than what we currently have sitting in our sinking fund 👎.
Always one to end on a positive 🙂. Yesterday, I was just getting ready to go to my sister’s when I received a notification from my bank. I thought to myself, “what’s come out that I am unaware of”? Quite the opposite as it transpired. My lovely, kind, thoughtful brother had only put £1,000.00 into my account to help me out!💙. He is aware of my dental/window costs. I just sat there for 20 mins crying and feeling overwhelmed and so lucky to have such a wonderful family 🥲. Deep down, I like to think that he knows that when I haven’t been gambling, I have always just worked hard and did a good job of bringing my son up single handedly and without any financial support from his father 😤.
All in all, a very stressful day starting out but one that gradually got better as the day went on 👌. What more can I ask for?😊. Oh and I went to Waitrose, bought some yummy food and treated myself to a lovely plant and plant pot for my balcony!👍. I will probably make this my treat for my upcoming one year g.f mark 😆. These are the things you can do when you no longer throw your money at those rich gambling establishments 👋👋.
Take care all.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
That's so kind of your brother Pink Lady 👏 well done continuing your journey, sounds like a tough time recently financially but your keeping on top of things!
Keep the faith I follow you and fish in my own journey. I'm finding it difficult this week but your post indeed cheered me up. Good for you getting that plant as a treat!
@dazza85 Thank you Dazza. Yes, the guy I sit next to at work had his headphones on and I asked if he was listening to music and he said “no, I am listening to the racing from Cheltenham”!! I then hear another guy sitting behind me say, “I have just got by through the skin of my teeth”. I was assuming he meant he had just broken even with his bets. I just thought to myself, “that all sounds really stressful. No thanks 👊👋.
Thanks for taking the time to read my diary. I read yours too 😐. I hope you can stay strong and focused. The next few days will be here and gone in no time. Better still, once they have, just think how good you will feel when you can say that you have remained g.f 👌🙏.
Take care and stay positive.
🩷🍎.
Day 348.
Another short week in work this week, meaning I only did Tuesday- Thursday👌. I am also off on Monday but off to the dentist to have 2 teeth removed! Can’t wait now as the pain with this ongoing infection has not been good 😖. Will do something nice as well, maybe plant a couple of plants in the grounds of my apartment overlooking my balcony 🪸🌸🌼.
My head has been filled with nothing but calculations these past few weeks 😵💫. However, after my brother gifting me £1,000.00, my dental fees now being significantly reduced and making a few calls to Sky, ending up with a really good deal, my finances are hopefully looking much better for the near future and beyond 🙏. Our management company for our apartments are wanting £3,194.00 from all 9 residents for the cost of replacement windows in September - a ridiculous amount to replace in my eyes 🤬. I originally thought I would have to pay them back in 12 monthly instalments from this September, however this may not be the case and instead, I am hoping to be able to pay them the full amount by then instead!🤞. They are coming to replace the windows end of this month - not before time that is!🤬.
My loan repayments to my sister have also commenced and are going well. From April, due to me finishing paying off some arrears I had from last year, and getting one of my two credit cards down to a zero balance this month, I am now able to increase my monthly payments to her and hope to pay all this back by August this year instead of December, as was originally planned. All this is provided my contract in work is extended again, which hopefully it will be🤞🙏.
So the moral of this story is that if you think things are sounding really tough and you feel like everything is being thrown at you all at once, try to just take a breath, day at a time, dig deep and do some calculations, re jig things if you can and phone companies up for better deals!
The above does take some hard work and determination on my part but these are two things I am used to AND I love a challenge!😆. It’s also important for me to still have my mini goals in place, remind myself of these/add to them if need be every now and again and just keep chipping away at them. Whilst we are chipping away at things, we are only making things better and not worse 👌.
On a brighter note …… my sister is picking me up soon. We are going to visit her two daughters who live by each other and we are going to celebrate their Birthdays with some fizz, cake and goodies and a good old girlie chat/sleepover🥂🍾🎂🍫👌. Again, it feels so nice to be “back to normal sensible me” where I have been able to buy champagne and goodies without it worrying me/it affecting my bank balance! It will be great to catch up with the little ones too - they can be so much fun to watch 🥰.
Take care all. Keep doing what I am doing day at a time, week at a time and before you know it, it will become month at a time, until you are fast approaching the year g.f mark as is my case end of this month 😊💪.
”April fools - no more the fool!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Another lovely read. I love your positivity throughout. It keeps me motivated reading it. Almost at the big 1 year point. I feel like we've done this together in a way. Ups and downs, job issues, money issues, basically life issues, and we've both come through this so far smiling 😀 . Anyone reading our diaries should see that in the beginning, life is horrible. Gambling has destroyed us, but with some hard work and dedication you can be a success. Sure, we are in debt, and have hurt those around us, but as long as we keep fighting, we can repair everything. We can rebuild relationships (well some!), we can build our money back up, we can life a normal life.
This journey has taught me so much about myself and I'm sure you feel the same. We are strong, resilient people. We just happened to get caught up in the addiction. One of the toughest and most secretive addictions. But, we are here, nearly a year on, happy and free from the cycle. Are we fixed? No. Are we happy? Yes (well I am!, don't want to put words in your mouth!). most importantly though, we are stronger. We fought hard, and continue to do so, but now we are living a life we can enjoy.
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Thanks Fish 💙🐟. Life and finances are most definitely so much better almost one year on!👌💪🙏.
🩷🍎.
Day 356.
Another week has flown by!! Be prepared for this essay!🥴.
Monday I went and had my two teeth removed, which will now hopefully disperse this ongoing infection I have had since last August!😖🤞🙏. Dentist said it should now go on it’s s own but to come back for antibiotics if any problems. Think I may be going back tomorrow for some however 🤨.
The process now starts for the two implants and a crown for my very back tooth, where the infection had reached the bone 🥴. It was such a nice feeling though, to have a payment of £590.00 come straight off my bank card, to pay for the extraction work and then a deposit for the next course of treatment 👍. This whole process will take me to September but my next appointment is now not until June (apart from getting some more antibiotics tomorrow) 🤞🙏.
Now for the bad news (part of the s**t sandwich - the good, the bad and then the good again)!! Last Wednesday, I hadn’t been feeling too great after my visit to the dentist on the Monday. I decided to drive to my local McDonalds - the last time I went there, I got a message from my sister to say her son had just been admitted to hospital where they had found a mass on his brain 😭💙. This time, I was backing my car out into the glaring evening sun and caught the back of one of my neighbour’s car!!!😱. Even worse than that, I did more damage to my car AND I don’t speak to this neighbour 🙈. Within seconds of it happening, her balcony doors were flung open and she was shouting like a banshee 🤬. I get on with everyone of the residents but this one is known to be miserable and does nothing but moan and complain about life in general! So much so, when I was buying this place, the guy I was buying it off, told me he had had several “run ins” with her and she had complained about him playing his music and when he was having work done, she would bang up to him!
Without going into too much more detail, the same women, when my nephew had passed away and I was here with my sister and his two sisters just after his funeral and we were hugging one another and crying, she did no more than to bang up to us!😲. She also complained to me when I had his two little girls stay over for one night (two of the most loveliest little girls there are) 🩷🩷. Her words to me two days later were, “did you have your grandkids over, them kids the noise they were making, I was going to come up and have a word but I just banged up instead”!! I was just stunned and lost for words at the time.
When I returned from MacDonalds, the intention was (even though I have got no time for this woman), was to go upstairs, write a note of apology, ask her to get a quote and post it through her door. I didn’t get that chance! As I was getting out of my car, she was there, waving her insurance details at me and asking me “what were you doing”? As if I had done the whole thing on purpose! I eventually just let rip on her (should have done it ages ago when she banged up to me, my sister and nieces but I was too upset at the time. It ended by me saying for her to get a quote and letting me know and her reply was “oh I will and I will be going to a proper garage”!! 🤷🏻♀️. Not giving her another thought until I receive this quote. Watch this space!
Now for the good bit of the s**t sandwich 😊. My lovely niece/Goddaughter has just completed a half marathon in Liverpool (she did it last year too). In honour of my late nephew and for the Brain Tumour Charity. I am so proud of her and all for a great cause 👏👏👏👏. She has already raised £5,000 and it is increasing as I type this. I will be making my donation also today.
Take care all and remember- just keep hacking away at the good, the bad and the ugly and try your best to just take it all in your stride and just BREATH through it all, day at a time.
Love to you all.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Day 363 - Mothering Sunday 🌼.
Spending the day with my lovely sister and thinking of her so much today 💙💔😢. Bless her though, she has invited me and a couple of friends around for tea and scones mid morning. This afternoon, the two of us will raise a glass 🥂🍾 to her beloved son who is no longer with us 💔😥.
Not seeing my son today - decided to just spend the day with my sister, however, he is coming to stay with me on Friday and taking all three of us out for a meal on Saturday 👍💙.
Two days away from my one year g.f milestone!💪.
Have a lovely Sunday everyone and especially to all you Mothers!😊.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
@pinklady - You legend! Just missed you on chat tonight but congrats on the big 1 year!!!!
It's been a rough ride. Amazing to read back and see how much your life has changed over the last 365 days. The 1 thing that hasn't changed is your positivity. Your diary and posts on mine have got me through some tough times and you are a credit to yourself and the forum. You deserve all the success you've worked hard to achieve this year. I love to see you reaping the rewards. Mad to think how we both used to life our lives. No money for the basics. What were we doing!!!!!!
Anyway. I'm stuck at work, but just wanted to say thank you and congrats. I'll have some chocolate and stick on an ABBA song in your honour!!!
Stay strong 👍
Day 365!!
One year ago today, I came on here! After spending as much as £1300 in a matter of two hours, after my monthly salary hitting my account 🙈. Was not the first time this had happened to me. My triggers were payday and feeling financially emotional.
That awful gut wrenching feeling hitting the pit of my stomach and sending a pain straight to my head, once I felt the reality of the situation and the sheer embarrassment and anxiety of having to divulge this to my sister (who bailed me out with a loan so I could pay my bills and get by for the month) 😇🩷.
Roll on a year. There have been ups and downs, tragedy, anxiety, worry and stress. I am so glad to say however that none of these have been related to gambling 💪. I will take these feelings over the feeling I would get, when spending all of my hard earned salary in a flash, on gambling 👎.
Today, I have 5 small individual savings pots, I have money in my bank, all my bills are paid and up to date, I am paying my debts/loan to my sister and, I have peace of mind 👌.
Today has been a good day. I am on a training event this week so not the usual busy daily schedule going on. The sun has been shining walking to and from work. The people I am on the training with are a really nice bunch of people too 👍.
I am always telling people on here that they must treat themselves for their achievements. With that in mind, I have just treated myself to some Jo Malone perfume and body cream!😊. I pondered for a while over the £118.00 for the cost of the perfume alone!!😲. I then remembered how I didn’t give nearly as much thought to quickly spending £1300 a year ago on gambling and ending up in even more debt! So I will enjoy my purchases and remind myself of how I was able to afford them 👍.
I am still sticking to my goals and have some new ones on the horizon too.
My days are no longer filled with trying to earn more money via gambling. Anything but!👊. Couldn’t think of anything worse right now 😱.
I wish those of you just starting out on here, strength and hope and those of you continuing on your journey, I applaud you all 👏👏👏.
Take care everyone and keep the faith 🙏.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
@p6z38njbqm Awh thanks Fish 🐟💙. Defo have the chocolate 👍. ABBA? Only if you insist!🤣.
Take care and catch up soon.
Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
@j5a6meyr4z congratulations 🎉👏🎉 You and fish are both inspirational in this forum and are both a pleasure to read. Well done on the last 12 months you have completely owned it! So glad you took your own advice too and treated yourself. Jo Malone too a beautiful scent if I do say so myself a lovely treat!
Keep up the great work and don't ever stop with the amazing feedback also 👏 👏
@dazza85 Thank you so much Dazza for your kind words 💙.
I continue to follow your positive progress and enjoy reading your diary entries.
Take care and keep going - before you know it, you will have hit that 100 days also milestone!💪.
🩷🍎
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