@brownie889 Awh thank you Brownie. Was only thinking of you the other day and hoping all was still going well for you and your g.f journey?🙏.
Take care.
🩷🍎.
@j5a6meyr4z aww yeah all is going okay thank you, for the first time ever I can actually claim to be g.f!!
Keep smashing everyday day we got this 👍🏻
Day 50!
A good day today. Took the train into work for a couple of hours after an early start then back home to finish off a report and a few other loose ends.
Got a phone call later on in the afternoon to confirm my start date in my new post - 19th August!! All fits in nicely with my 12 week’s notice in my current job and then my 2 week’s break at my sisters villa then straight into my new job the following day and 4 weeks of block intense training!👌. I have been feeling really worried, in case my start date would coincide with my holiday dates and I would have to forgo this as in the job description, it stated no annual leave allowed during training!
Everything around this job has just worked out really nicely so I am just hoping it is an omen for me to remain there until I retire🤞🙏🙏🙏. All in all, a lovely end to my working day, followed by a nice sit out for half an hour in the gardens of my apartment with my neighbour - putting the world to rights! 🤣.
No gambling thoughts - yuk 👎.
Take care all and have yourself a gamble (stress free) life - just like me!👌
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 51.
Worked my late evening at work tonight. I will NOT miss doing these when I leave! Just as I approached work today, I suddenly calculated that I have only got 26 more working days left until I finally leave for pastures new. 👌. Got a couple of weeks leave here and there as well so that’s good.
Had to deal with a horror of a guy this evening in our session, who clearly demonstrated zero respect for women (which is the main reason why he is on the group)! I just thought to myself - “26 more days left of having to deal with the likes of him remember”. 👋👋. What a great feeling that was. 😁.
A very early start for me in the morning, travelling to work in the commute. Again, “not long” am I thinking, before I will be walking to work and back in less than 10 minutes. 👌.
Take care all and so will I.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 52.
Woke up at 2.45am this morning! Not sure if it was the strong winds that was to blame? Needless to say, I could not get back off to sleep and then was up and out for 6.50am for the one hour commute to work. All turned out ok and I wfh this afternoon and logged off at 4pm as I was shattered and all my work was completed for the week 👌.
Got my son arriving, for the bank holiday weekend tomorrow eve and going to catch up with my sister and niece tomorrow so that will be nice. Payday in a week’s time. Got a little money in my bank account but not much but enough to get me through to next week. Fridge/freezer still looking healthy and wine stock too so that’s good enough for me for now 👍.
I am beginning to count down the days/weeks to leaving my 20 year old job! I am feeling optimistic about starting in my new role in August. 🙏.
Good night God bless everyone. Stay strong and keep making the right choices.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 53.
Just a normal day today. I will take that! 👍.
Night God bless all.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 54.
A nice bright start to the Bank Holiday weekend. 😎. Have got my son here so we are out for a brisk walk and take the long way round to my village and then he is treating me to breakfast there👌😋. Then we are off to see my sister and her family and spend the afternoon playing with the little ones in her garden, followed by tea and homemade cakes, yum yum. I will then cook supper for my son and I later.
I have been reading some new members posts on the forum this morning - the destruction and devastation gambling can cause for a person is real and heartbreaking. I have suffered this myself too on a handful of occasions - my worst being, losing 27k of my own hard earned money in just a matter of weeks!!🙈. I choose not to dwell on this as I know it will be no good for my mental health, however, it is still good every once in a while, to remind myself of this and go back to that day, sitting on my sister’s settee, trembling uncontrollably, before finally divulging this to her. Lord knows what she was thinking in her head but whatever that was, she did not say. Instead, she continued to support me both emotionally and financially. 🩷. I have her to thank more than she will ever know.
So…….. I wanted to remind myself again, for the things I am truly grateful for.
My ever supportive sister
My loving family
My health
My own tenacity
My resilience
My budgeting skills (which are brilliant when it doesn’t include gambling)
The support I receive from fellow diary members
The support I receive on the chat forum.
A lot to be grateful for when I see it all written down. 👌.
For those of you just starting out on your journey, who may be feeling desperate and at the end of your tether, let me remind you, once you decide that “enough is enough” and you are done with gambling and forever losing your money, which is normally the case for most of us on here, then please be assured that everything in you life can then improve. I say “everything“ - some may lose their significant other half due to it but hopefully, their relationship with themselves will improve (no more lies to tell) and in time, so too will everything else. 🙏.
Take care all, be kind to yourself and enjoy the Bank Holiday as best you can.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 55.
Nice chilled morning/day. My son is still here so have prepped a good old fashioned dish for dinner tonight - Cumberland sausage, mash and onion gravy!😋. My son’s favourite from a young child!
Off to my sister’s in the next hour - just me and her, for a chat and a spritzer - it is the Bank Holiday after all!! 😊🍸.
I think it would be really nice if people on here, wrote on each other’s diaries more - I find it quite encouraging and motivating, both reading and writing on the threads. When I was on here a good few years ago, there appeared to be much more communication between fellow diary writers.
Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday break and if not, remember, tomorrow is a new day!🙏.
Best wishes to you all.
”April fools - no more the fool!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Pinky, congrats, still smashing it. I was on the chat room last night and realised it’s the same people on there who are all still beating this. Made me think that after so many new forum posts from new people that really it takes a commitment on here to really be honest with people who understand that makes the difference. Lots of newbies, lots of not following up. If you are reading this folks, commit to it, tell everyone what’s going on, listen to others experiences. You can beat this, we can beat this. Me and pinky been sharing our lives here. Raw, emotional, truthful, and guess what? It’s working for us. We’ve both been through hell, both lost allot; but both talking about it. That’s the only way in my opinion to get through this. Be open and honest. If you can’t do that in real life, do it in here.
Sounds like a bit of a rant in your threat mate, apologies! I do think this helps massively though.
Congrats again mate. Loving the focus, loving the new job, loving the fact we are on this journey together. New parts of our life merged with our focus on creating a better future for ourselves. I read your diary everyday and it keeps me on track so keep it up.
Stay strong my friend 💪
@p6z38njbqm Thank you so much Fish 🐟. I read yours too as I am rooting for you also! Things can only improve, now that we are no longer relying on gambling as a means to earn extra money, which we both well and truly know, is just not a wise move, nor is it the case! Let’s just continue to work at our jobs and make the most of our hard earned salary each month. This is the much safer bet - pardon the pun!! 🤭.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
🩷🍎.
Day 56.
Just sat here in my apartment. The sun flooding through my balcony windows and the birds chirping away. My son has now left so time for me to rest my brain (my 35 year old son has Aspergers). He is extremely intelligent however - he got a First Class degree with Honours, reading History and a First Class also for his dissertation and did just a couple week’s revision for both, if that!! By no means am I thick but in a million years, I could never achieve that and in that manner. His head/mind is always full of all sorts and so he never comes up for air!!🥴. We have had a lovely bank holiday weekend though but I am grateful of the nice peace and quiet here. A quick clean around after he went - he (and his Aspergers), are so messy/untidy! We are both polar opposites in this area so this can cause lots of frustration on my part, however, being a tad more patient and “turning a blind eye” helps! 🥴.
I have spent some time on here today, reading a lady’s diary from many years ago, who when I last read, she was 7 years gamble free, so a real success story to read. I noticed also, that in 2016, I had commented on her diary, when I was last on here! This is why I believe it is really good for people who are trying to break away from gambling, to read/write on other people’s diaries, instead of just being “wrapped up” in their own thoughts and feelings. Just my opinion of course. 😊.
Getting ready for another week in work and hopefully, only one day/eve in the office tomorrow and the rest, wfh👌. Also starting to think more about the prospect of returning to full-time employment after 4 years of working 3 days only! 🤔. I am just hoping however, the fact that I will only have to do a five minute walk to work and back each day, instead of a two hour commute, and the fact that this job should be a whole lot less stressful and less challenging, both in terms of workload and no longer having to deal with violent offenders on a daily basis, will mean that returning to full-time, should not be too much of a chore 🤞🙏. Plus I will be earning more money!👍. Sometimes in my current job, I often feel like I have worked full-time hours by the time I have done a couple of late evenings and done the 2 hour long journey there and back so watch this space!
Will catch up on the group chat this evening and check in with anyone else on there.
Take care all and well done to those who are continuing to work hard and remain abstinent.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 57.
All ok in work with no real issues from any of the service users! Late night working and ready for my bed. No thoughts of gambling whatsoever.
It’s amazing that, when I don’t gamble, I do not obsess about pay day/frantically await its arrival! This Friday will be my second pay day since I last gambled. Money is still a little tight but better than last month so that’s a bonus 👍. Patience really is a virtue and I am at one with this.
Good night God bless all 🙏.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Day 58.
Wfh today and tomorrow but my Lord, I feel like they are trying to squeeze every last bit out of me before I leave my 20 year old job for good on 1st August! 😡. “Can you cover this, can you do this”! Even today, when I put in for 2 days holiday, which was more hassle than it was worth - “have you got cover for this evening and have you got cover for that session”! Back in the day, you were able to just give your dates to your manager, enjoy your break and that was it! I have to just keep saying to myself, “21 more working days in the dump until I finally leave”! That’s the problem when you have always been conscientious in your role - they always want more from you and yet the slackers just get left to their own devices! 🤷🏻♀️. Anyway, enough of that. Like I said, out of there soon. 👋👋👋.
Payday in two days time. I have £35.00 left in my bank account from last payday - more than I had left just a few hours after I was paid at the end of March when I last gambled, so I am ok with this and confident as the months progress, that this will improve🤞🙏. Will still be on a tight budget next month but will be calm and collected knowing that everything will be paid and fridge and freezer will be healthy 👍.
Read a post earlier from someone who said that they had just been paid and had lost the lot in a matter of hours and would now have to struggle again for another month. What a way to live. I have been there on many occasions 🙈. It seems ludicrous when you are reading stuff like this when you are no longer in the vicious cycle of gambling. I hope they are able to find the strength to break their cycle as I have done mine🤞🙏.
Take care all and so will I.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Congratulations on day 58. Keep going!! 😀
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
