Back after a year.

Hi there :)) .

It's never nice to welcome someone back here under such circumstances but Kudos to you for coming back and admitting all , I won't go in the thing's you should be doing as youv'e probably heard them a millon times before but I will say Just keep on trying something new and one day ( hopefully today) you'll find something that does the job :)).

Today I will not gamble either and I'm pleased to walk alongside you :))

Best wishes

Thanks Alan think you were one of the original guys who wrote on my original diary so thanks for retaking the time.

Day 3 I will not gamble today

What makes me gamble? Over the last few years I have really given this some thought I have reached the point in my life where I know it is destructive to the person I want to be and toxic for both me and my family. So why do it? I don't have the full answer for me it is a mixture of repetition over time, trained behaviour and boredom any gap needs to be filled and what could be more exciting than risking my financial security? I am hoping this time that by really looking at myself and how this part of my brain functions I can head off what has so far been the inevitable crash.

Day 3 is early I know but this is the chance to break the habit of my lifetime!

TH

Ive tried so many times, but something about this time feels different, Only just nearly a month in but I still dont want to bring those thought back, every one I know thinks i'm so chilled(I am) I dont get angry or stressed but behind the scenes gambling had me I thought I had it under control the last few months being the worst, my last gambling day the 13th of August after a mad session I threw my expensive laptop againt the wall and kicked and stamped on it, me a laid back chilled guy to others, but gambling had me and was probably laughing at me smashing up my laptop, thinking I would come back with another card trying again, but I admitted to myself that day that it beat me, I lost. No more time, money and stress for Gambling, I have a long time to go to pay back what I lost, a very long time. But now 25 days in I never want to gamble again.

Day 4

Not much to add today a fairly quiet day urge wise, but I have been down this road too many times to let a quiet day make me think tomorrow will be the same

I will not gamble today

TH

Best wishes tryinghard . You sound like you know your addiction and I can relate in many way . Especially the boredom / risk thing . Something can't quite be right in our lives can it if we're willing to risk our financial security for a thrill ! It's pretty crazy in the cold light of day . All I can say is what's getting me through at the moment is knowing gambling would make my situation worse not better - even if I won - the guilt , the anxiety , the stress , I don't need it in my life right now . Wish the best . You know the drill . Get to a week first and be proud of that no matter if you have done this before or not . Early on every day is an achievement. Keep going

Day 5

Thanks for the support guys means a lot!

Been a nice day today did a few social activities non gambling related which was nice and started a new tv show whch should fill some of the time I know I am going to now have on my hands. Few thoughts about gambling today I have always been into sport and so I was watching the cricket today and sad to say my brain now only functions in what would be a good price for x at this moment? Quickly put to back of my mind and carried on but got me thinking about which sports I watch for the pleasure and which sports are a crutch for gambling may have to make a list dont think I'm going to like it because some of my favourite sports are the ones I have bet heaviest on.

Anyway Day 5 I will not gamble today

TH

Day 6

No gambling for me today. Just wrote a far longer peice discussing my battles but lost it as my computer wasnt sure if I was a robot or not.

Today I will not gamble

TH

Hi,

Great for coming back.

Since I started my recovery (around 16th August similar to Smashed) I have relapsed once really hard! (And again, but I bought some scratch cards which isn't my thing at all but is technically gambling so I reset my clock).

With the big relapse 27th august (most of my salary) I fought to come back as the gambling gremlins told me not to and to keep it secret and to keep going...I'm learning to be accountable!

Good luck with everything!

I cannot win because I cannot stop!

Day 7 + 8

Just a quick note to say still gf, horrific day at work wont go into details but sufice to say not in a good mood and gambling probably the last thing on my mind.

I will not gamble today

TH

Day 10

Much harder day today plenty of thoughts of gambling sport upcoming tonight and this weekend friends who I talk to about gambling asking me who I fancy in the golf so been a much tougher day all around. Have abstained and not really been anywhere near caving but have thoght about it. Am concentrating on this weekend going away to watch the boxing on a session, have always enjoyed a bet while inder the influence so will have to be extra strong.

Anway day 10 in the bag

I will not gamble today

TH

HI TH :))

If your struggling with thought's at the moment do you think it wise to have conversations about gambling with mates ?

I'm not trying to be harsh but it's a bit like an alcoholic discussing the different flavours of beer then wondering why you fancy a drink so much , I understand there mates but isn't it possible to at ;least ask them to not talk to you about gambling for a while ? It's early day's for you but this whole giving up malarky's going to be about you making changes in your life so that you don't actually need the thrill and excitement that exchanging tips brings you .

Your also putting yourself in the firing line again with the boxing at the weekend as youve already said you enjoy a bet while having a drink , so surely that's gonna be another huge temptation right there ? .

Please dont think I'm trying to tell you how to run your social life and I understand you need to unwind and have friends around but you see what I'm saying , " Nothing changes if nothing changes "

All the best Bud :))

Day 11

Thanks for the post Alan I have been giving what you say a lot of thought today. I didnt really clarify I was texted and asked for an opinion but did not respond so not a coversation as such, am aware I am going to have to thin my social circle as a lot of people I socialise with are gambling mates only.

Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results so some things are going to have to change but I like to blow off steam and go away for things so I am just going to have to put certain things in place to keep out of temptations all of this is in my mind and I can beat it.

Day 11 done I will not gamble today

TH

Fair one mate and only " You know you " but be carefull eh :)) .

Congrats on getting the first 11 day's of the rest of your life back :))

Day 14

Just back from my night away and proud to say I held strong, this is about me chaging my mindset and not being weak to the cravings. Great time had by all met some old friends and really enjoyed, bit of football to watch this afternoon and spend some quality time on the couch.

I will not gamble today

TH