48 no, nothing to report really feeling very comfortable with what I am doing, almost forgotten how angry I was at the start of this journey. Know this in itself is dangerous because many times I have lost the anger and folded. It will not happen this time!
49 no, today I will not gamble trying to be a better husband, a better father and a better person.
Day 50. Such a small way into my journey but a milestone none the less, what have I learned in the past 50 days? I have learned to calm down I am no longer rushing to make time to gamble and I have learned that will not anger is going to fuel this recovery. Have a gamble free day everyone!
51 no, still going strong.
52no, have had hardly any urges the last few days been very peaceful, wary of getting too complacent but feeling good. Have cut down my sports viewing don’t think I could leave sports entirely as they have been a part of me for a long time but to disassociate with gambling is the aim. Got a family break booked end of the month concentrating on this and getting my debt paid off ASAP. Hope everyone has a good gamble free day
53 no, still going strong. Trying to be a better husband, a better father and a better person.
54 no. Been trying to fill my time with watching documentaries and have found the espn series 30 for 30. Watched the one on John Daly the golfer last night an alcoholic a depressed guy who had a major gambling addiction. This guy earned 90 million in his career and worked out through tax returns he gambled 53 million away that is almost 60% of the money he earned. I started to think about how much of what I earned I was gambling and about 60% would be about right so after paying bills and doing a little bit the rest of the salary would go on gambling. Shows me that doesn’t matter how much money you get, you can have money you can’t possibly spend and never have to work another day of your life if you gamble you can forget at least 60% of your money will go immediately. There will never be enough money to replace the buzz of winning/ losing and that is an unbelievable price for that feeling. Anyway have a good gamble free day everyone
73 no. Wow been a while 20 days without being able to log into my account, have had a few wobbles few thoughts of betting on a big sports event that passed last week . Saw these off and carried on with my journey, away on a short break with my family and have enjoyed the distraction. Anyway just checking back in to say I have not cracked.
74 no, been a good day today one filled up with catching up with family, another day crossed off the list.
76 no. No time to post yesterday was travelling back from Ireland, feeling resfrshed and revitalised seeing the debts come down month by month helps and looking to a brighter gamble free future. Strange I go through ups and downs with this thing feeling really good and positive with my decision today and yet a week ago the gambler in me was telling me what was he point of working so hard if I couldnt let my hair down every once in a while? I suppose there is a depression in most gamblers otherwise why would we embrace the pain we cause ourselves? Getting a bit deep here, be well and have a good day everyone.
Dear Tryinghard1234,
Recovery is not a straight line and you are right there are lots of ups and down in the process.Acknowledge them and allow them to be as they have a meaning and can help you to reflect on yourself and your needs. Keep reminding yourself the positive changes that you have noticed now that you are not gambling.
Kind regards
Forum admin
78 no. Another day gamble free
79 no feeling strong and good about this recovery not going to let old mistakes derail this one.
80 no. Not much to report very quiet day my mind is giving me a break.
81 no, another day done trying to take strength from reading other people’s stories and finding myself invested in hoping they have succeeded and have not fallen off the wagon. Not sure how to feel about this because I am not one to judge as have fallen off many times but there seems to be such a grip that most of us cannot get away. The ones that are open enough to share the real aftermath of gambling help to keep my pain and anger at myself close because that is what I need to continue.
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