Believe you can and you will

Hi tom well done for realising you'll never be cured. The thing that's drawn me to your post is your wife. I'm the wife of a cg. I'm amazed that she was hand in hand controlling your bets. It may help her to go to gamanon if she can. We all have to learn to say 'no'. She also needs to learn how to deal with this. Learning about addiction from other f&f is very insightful. I go to a meeting every week and it has saved me, saved my sanity, changed my behaviour. Plus we go together, so it's great support and we both get help. Good luck, remember this has and will affect her too.

Morning Tommy, I was made up when you text me last night to say you had started a diary. As I said to you at GA on Tuesday it has massively helped me doing both GA and here.

What you need to remember is that the further you are from your last bet doesn’t take you any further away from the possibility of the next bet, yes you become stronger the longer you abstain and can tell that little voice in your head to do one. Hopefully the complacency doesn’t come back and you are now aware this isn’t a quick fix and GA is a lifetime commitment.

Its been great to see that gambling fog start to disappear from around you and even in that couple of weeks you can see the difference in your demeanor and your starting to build the bridges and make amends to the your girlfriend and kids.

Stick at it bud and keep reading on here and posting good and bad

JFT KTF

Welcome to the forum.

I think you need to put a plan in place for the next out of the blue phone call from a mate... what barriers can you put in place to stop you going with him for a bet, whether it's football, casino... whatever. That test will come and it will be easy just now to say "no" on here or have that as your answer in your head, but when the moment comes it won't be that easy. I used to carry a picture of my parents in my wallet, the people who I had hurt the most. That worked for me, it might not for you, just a suggestion.

There is plenty of support on here and a lot of people who have walked the path you are starting out on. A lot of us have had to start again and again, but I can honestly say when I check in here regularly it really helps.

Stay safe and GF.

Thankyou for your replys I will mention to my partner merry go round some of the usfull info you have gave me .ste ven you are correct I am going to put as many blocks in place as possible and make it as hard as possible to be able to gamble .thankyou Oldham your recovery is teaching me a lot on my early days and really giving me hope .

Day 19

Done a ten hour shift in work today so not had much time.to think of gambling tbh I've had enough of my job I work for an engineering company and get really low pay for the work I do so I have been applying for new jobs .A few week ago I would of been to busy gambling to do this and it as awarded me with two interviews one for Asda which I'm a bit u sure about due to times and days of work but the other is for my local council on the gardens and parks.and would be a dream job.so see how they go in coming week .got home just after 6 had my tea and just put kids to bed now great it is spending a hour with them bf bed and the Mrs and step daughter have gone to a pamper party at her friends god knows what it now but she was happy so that's all what.matters .Thurs night going into Fridays is when I would be weighing what bets I was having g in early hours of night trying top my wage up so I thought anyway wake up.most morning a lot of money down and lost and be thinking of lies to where the money as gone but tonight all I after worry about is make sure i get a good night's.sleep no worrying about bets of money I'll leave it there for today like ADT says it's not about letting the storm pass it's about Dancing in the rain

Hi Tommy and thank's for the drop by :)) .

So youv'e got Oldham in your corner have you Tom :)) That'll stand you in good stead for fighting this addiction as he's a top bloke and knows a thing or two , especially about " Beer and Shed's " :)) .

Seriously mate listen to the man and take all the information he offers on board , he's helped me keep going at times and I'll never forget that :)) .

I was just reading your story and it could mirror any one of us on here , the times in the past W**e I've had a while away from gambling and went back like yourself thinking I was cured and that I'd be able to control it again and we all know where that end's right ? , it's never good and I would usually end up losing more because of me thinking " Well I've had a break and saved a few quid so it's fine " b ut like you it just never changes and the cycle of destruction goes on again and we get deeper in the Sh1 t . .

You know what to watch out for now having tried before , so try and stick it out at GA and coming on here for aread or an update as it'll keep you safe and obviously give you something to do to occupy some new time you'll have on your hands :))

You can do this for good mate , you just have to want to do it more than you want that next bet , do it for you yourself and all those that you love around you will feel the benefit :))

I'll talk to you soon Tommy and say Hi to Martin for me and tell him I miss his wise word's on here and as he alway's say's " It's better to ramble than Gamble " really wish I'd thought of that one :)) .

All the best Bud

Thanks

Day 20

Thanks for your reply Alan some cracking banter and some really good advice .I will let him know you have said Hiya and you hope to hear from him soon .you are a real.valuble member to these g care forums and you have done great in your recovery from what I have read I hope I can be in your shoes in 2 years but for.now it's one day at a time off pal

Day20
I
Well today as been a hard day got a short wage due to after being off work due to all getting I'll with a 24 hour but courtesy of my 3 year old starting nursery at big school. So as you can imagine debts and bills to pay not enough to pay everything then the urges come rushing through your mind . What if I had so much on a solid treble will sort us out knowing 9 times out of ten it would lose and put us further in trouble anyway I got past they and with the blocks in place no bets have been made and we have just about scraped through .we have a roof over our head electric and gas and food in the cuboard s just . Its put a massive strain on my relationship with my partner and there as been a lot of arguing .so I went upstairs to get out of way and before I know it ive fished and cleaned my daughter's bedroom and bleached all bathroom and made it spotless .i work Mon to Thurs ten hour shifts so I'm off on Friday s .any way did all that and Mrs had calmed down I know it's my fault and I after take it on chin so we all had tea got kids ready for bed and they are just nodding off now well I write this .so things are getting easier each day but today as been hard and I'm happy I can say it's a gamble free one .next g a meeting is on Tuesday and I'm on the milk duties so looking forward to buying a pint of milk and getting in there getting my medicine for the week I'm off to get a hours peace while a are asleep peace out people

Hi Tommy

Im Andy congrats on your 20 days! Just read your story and my hairs stood on end.

I very rarely read stories anymore it's made me realise i need to! That pain and background i feel and totall relate. You have done 90 days before.Now its about hitting 90 then setting some targets after. It sounds like you have a great supportbase there!!

My top tips for you get them bars in place casions, bookies bingo whatever and wherever! If your in a pub and have access to your money. always use your card as if tempted by a machine the buggers aint connect to the atm! If your feel that urge pick up the phone or get on here write in your diary.Ramble not gambe! I told people in the space of a few weeks of quiting where i was with gambling and shocked and hurt. people will rally around you and if they dont. Oh well it will make you stronger but whatever as everything is out there a huge huge pressure falls off you! GA stick at it! evening a week is nothing! i go to a counciller rather than ga as found suited my need more! but its working for you so keep using it and any tool at your disposal

As i saw you quote...... Dont wait for the storm to pass learn to dance in the rain........ Sounds like you are my friend and keep at it!! speak soon buddy!

Hiya Andy

I have read your full story I couldn't stop reading one night I was up till daft o clock when had work following morning lol.i really felt for you and seen the could feel the hurt you was going through and you kept fighting and taking each day as it come at you and you smashed it as I got near to end and finished I was worried because you hadn't put anything down for a while.it was at GA where I found out Martin was Oldhamktf and he said you was doing great then at last meeting he told me you had posted and smiled so I looked on made me happy .thanks again for your comment top stuff Andy

Day 21

Saturday the toughest day of the week for me as it's football day and you have all the racing it's sports betting mad and for weeks months and years it's been my life but not today my friends . Woke up this morning made a plan the night before so was up an at them help Mrs get kids breakthrough and clothes sorted and off I go big Spring clean on the house top to bottom Mrs took kids out .so I'm cracking on and I thought I'll have a quick brew check couple of emails and get back on with the clean anyway just for a few seconds I get a couple.of big urges normally be getting settled for the racing and footy now what if and then the higher powers of GA and my bad thoughts of the kids being ignored come flowing back and the went away .so I carried on cleaning put a Tata ash in the slow cooker for tea even managed to take the nippers on a walk in the rain in the valley and tire them out for bed before got back for tea can't remember last time I've done that .I admit I found today hard did a bit of clock watching but enjoyed my family day and manage apply for more jobs as I said in earlier post hating my job at min so onwards and upwards anther day gamble free infact it's 3 weeks at midnight that feels great here to the next 3 good night everybody stay gamble free

Hi Tommy,

Thanks for your post on my thread, always appreciate the replies...keeps me motivated. I read your story and it really realates to me. I am an online slot addict but the bits that got me the most is the bit about your son (I have a 7 year old daughter & an 13 year old step daughter) and I have ignored her and palmed her off...ealry nights...more time on the Ipad in order to gamble. She has come after her dad has dropped her off and Ive not really looked up from my laptop. I even remeber bathing her and sitting in the bathroom playing...I couldnt even stop to play with her in the bath (sadly I think my daughter is the only one her age that can wash her own hair 🙁 ).

Secondly, when I was with my daughters father I would gamble all my money and then plead poverty and he would come in from work and go straight back out to do private work (he's a mechanic) and he would be exhausted just so we could survive. He was not aware of my addiciton but I would play down how much I earned each month by about £500 and then (after particular big binges) I would say that iv been scammed, by the bank, paypal, even my daughters school on one occassion.

We lost our home in June 2017 and we split up...he now knows why. We are still in close contact for our daughter.

Im 4 days gamble free...my name is Xendra and Im a compulsive gambler like you but together we can change our worlds.

Hiya xenedra thankyou for.your post was a great read .As we gamble our minds are on the bet especially when on phones we don't care what people have to say or what our loved ones are doing we become monsters .I have pretended to go on the toilet to get away from the kids and Mrs to watch my bet it's not nice but it's what the addiction does to you.If we was normal thinking we would never do anything like that and would be spending quality time with our loved ones .keep doing what you are doing and you will get better keep strong x

Day 23

Been working from 8 till 6 so not had much time to think about gambling but for a brief moment Christmas came in my head and last year I was bang at it and the thoughts of wat if came.in my head only for.a.brief moment then I realised yes what if I can spend quality time with my family rather than gambling.its my 3 re g a meeting tomoz night after work and I can't wait I'm taking the milk in so no matter what happens I'll be there with the milk lol.ive really had enough of my job being played really rubbish for the work I do so I have been applying for.many jobs I have been invited to a couple of interviews one is with my local housing company and is a real good job it's on Thursday so I'm doing a much revision as poss and getting everything ready for it to give my self the best chance of getting it so wish me luck lol.thats pretty much it today really my name's time and I'm 23 days gf