Better to Ramble than Gamble.

I've not had a bet today or for the last two years.

Who'd have thought it two years, when I first came here I was a broken man feeling sorry for myself and lost. With the support of here and GA I began to rebuild my life it's not been easy at times but the good times by far out weigh the bad now.

I temper this time last year, I didn't really feel like celebrating one year free after all it was also the anniversary of my separation and leaving my lad so I felt wrong in rejoining in that.

I feel a little different this year I've said it before if I'd been taken back I'm sure I would of gone back to gambling as soon I thought I could get away with. So getting it all out even if it did cost me more than money was worth it.

Time for a quick shower than off to pick my lad up to help me celebrate my birthday and 2 years gamble free.

Thanks again for the messages and support over the last couple of years.

KTF

What a diary Martin an absolute inspiration if I can do what you have done in the next two years I will be one happy man and one great dad to my kids like you are with you boy .it's took me a while to get through but I've finally done it and aswell as other things it as really helped me these first 20 days plus I'll give u a WhatsApp over coming days and talk more jtf ktf

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

Cheers Tommy I’m pleased my diary is helping people out there, it may not be the most active anymore but I think that natural you can’t keep saying the same things.

So what have I been upto? I had 2 weeks to myself as my parents went on a well earned break, It was strange having the house to myself, as much as I tryand keep out of there way it is nice to have them around if I need a bit of company. Its was afully quiet without them about and I found myself going out a bit more than usual. I had a good time a week off work to take full advantage and I did that for a few days.

It’s my turn to go away on my hols in 15 days not that I’m counting, the first time I will have been away since all this began over 2 years ago, in fact it will be over 3 years since I had a holiday. I really cant wait different to my normal holiday no 5 star AI with the family, off to Benidorm with a mixed group of around 25 staying in the same hotel that is featured on the TV show. Only going for 5 nights but im sure that will be plenty. A lot of the people im going with will be gambling while there thats not a worry for me they all know about me and will ensure I don’t go down the wrong path.

Had a great GA meeting last night only a small meeting but they are good sometimes can focus a bit more. One of the new members who’s been coming around a month treated us to some homemade cakes which was a bonus.

A while ago I completed a survey on here about GAMSTOP a couple of days ago they emailed me to see if I wanted to help with some further research, I’ve told them I will and they will get back to me over the next week. So that should be interesting to see if we can do something about the minefield that is online gambling and the difficulties excluding from them.

Until the next time KTF.

Hi Mate

Wanted to say a belated congratulations on your 2 years, as you know I have just clicked over the one year mark and you and your diary helped me get there. Like you, life felt pretty hopeless at points but now it is a world away from hopelessness. I hope you enjoy your well earned holiday!

I really hope that something can be done about online gambling, it nearly killed me and there should be something simple in place so we can blanket self exclude forever from all potential sites in my view.

Take care and I am proud to be chasing you back here at 380 days gamble free.

Matt

Hi, I did the survey for f&f. Really interesting, I hope it helps too. Thought provoking!

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

A familiar starting point of my recent updates with an apology to my neglected diary

Well while I’ve been away I’ve had a great time. Been on holiday with some great friends and made some more friends with some of the others that didn’t know. To say it was a boozy holiday would be an understatement I don’t know how I survived it to be honest. It was great to get some winter sun and I wasn’t going to waste it suffering in bed with hangovers and losing full days like some. I was up at 8 every morning walking along the beach well the promenade, I have a great dislike of that sand it’s the devils stuff. It was quite embarrassing getting overtaken by a few oap power walkers probably with hip replacements you never know one might of been my old mucker Alan.

then back for a breakfast feast and a couple of litres of water to set me up for the day. Eventually the rest of the group would start stirring and the shanigans would start again.

Yes they was some gambling going on but I Was prepared for that, the majority of the people knew about my gambling history. I had plenty to distract me if needed and then even a few politely asked me if they minded if they went to the casino.

Time to start planning another holiday maybe this time just me and our Jacob.

Still going strong at GA and have my 2nd year pinning next Tuesday. Just been tonight and had a great meeting and it’s inspired me to get cracking on my therapy for it. So I’ve dug out last years a bit of an edit and then add another chapter, year 2 of recovery, time to re read the last year of my diary and pick out some key things that have happened I’m sure I’ve got a few nuggets of recovery in there. It’s times like this that I wish my diary hadn’t been neglected but it might be easier to sift through.

I’ll leave it there KTF

Nice one Martin! ☺

Congrats on two years, You truly turned your life around and should be sooo proud of yourself!

Onwards and upwards, keep doing what is working!

S&B xx

Hey big man...lovely to see you popping in here again. ..so glad you had a great holibob. ..well and truly deserved...
If the old guy walking on the beach had a knotted hankie on his head...it probs was the old duffer...and if he was sporting socks with sandals...it most defo was him...trendy chap...our Alan..
Two year pin coming up..that's amazing Martin...I bet you add so much to you're group...and I can imagine you taking the newcomers under your wings...look how far you've come. ..amazing journey ...with you firmly in the driving seat. ...
Big hugs big brother xx

Ps
Just remembered. ..you never did send me any pics 🙂

Happy 800th Oldham.

Damo

Congratulations 800 days - Inspiringly amazing!! X

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

Thanks for the congratulations they are much appreciated.

Had a great week last Sunday had a birthday party which was lots of fun, glad I had a few days holiday left to use up as certainly wasn’t feeling like work on Monday morning.

I’ve had a few random days off the last few weeks to watch the Cricket in the middle of the night, a sport I never bet on which I can only put down to the fact I love it so much and didn’t want to to spoil it. It’s been like working a night shift sleeping in the day and up at night to watch the ashes, shame we’re getting battered only missed on day and that was the day we actually played well. Maybe that should tell me something lol.

Earlier this week had my open meeting to receive my 2 year pin along with 9 others with various lengths of abstinence. Took my Mum and mate who was going to be my best man along with me and held myself together a lot better than last year.

I’ve just posted this in on our GA WhatsApp group so thought I’d share it here.

Morning all, days like this used to really P**s me off when I was gambling. I’d have spent all last night studying for the football and gee gees only for meetings to be called off due to the snow football trebles turned into singles, that singles wins get paid out a pittance convinced the other 2 would win and I would be a rich boy It my would leave me feeling robbed. Then the need to win that money that I should of won would take over, on tilt I would chase looking for games in Europe that weren’t called off not even studying just putting random bets on, ending up in South America going all in on my favourite team in Bolivia ironically called The Strongest. Off to bed I would go leaving the bet running. Waking up the next morning check my phone it’s won, the cycle starts again, it loses have to find some more gambling tokens to start again.

All this because a few games got called off and I thought I should of won.

Today my only worry is will they be enough soon to go sledging later. Life without gambling is so much less stressful and fun.

Martin

Congratulations on receiving your 2 year pin. I have been on this forum since your first day and your recovery is truly inspiring. It gives me hope that my son (who also attends GA albeit with a lot more bumps in his journey) can enjoy a recovery such as yours.

Enjoy your gamble free day/weekend!

Cathyx

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

So my day counter says 950 days, to be honest it feels a lot longer. To say I’ve not had any urges since my last post would be a lie but they have been few and far between and just a fleeting thought.

The fact I’ve not had a bet I can certainly attribute to Gamcare and GA and me lol.

I still pop and have a read every now and then but no way as much as I did, by no way am I update with anyone’s diaries it was coming back that I saw Gamstop had eventually been launched. So much easier than the old way hopefully this will stop peoples excuses and leaving doors open. I’ve done Gamstop was very easy another block, absolutely no reason not to do it if you are serious about stopping gambling, I’ve done it and don’t even have access to bank card, I handed over my finance the day I stopped and I’ve not asked for them back. I can get what ever money I need just need to plan things out can’t quire be as spontaneous but that’s a small price to pay to be gamble free.

As for me all’s good, family doing well so proud of my son he’s doing so well which is a blessing after what I put him through and some credit must go to his mum, it was a bit frosty with his mum at the start but we get on ok now so us both acting mutually has helped for him to have a balanced upbringing. Works going really well I’m probably earning 30% more than when I was gambling, which has helped me pay back some people who bailed me out, they didn’t want it back but for me to feel that I’m not just abstaining I’m actually recovering while doing that it has meant I’m still back in my old spare room, truth be know it’s easy here I pull my weight and contribute I just feel safe and don’t have the responsibility of running a household.

Was going to go away with my son in the summer holidays looking like that might moved to October but we are planing a bit of a European city road trip well we don’t drive so train trip, neither of us are into the beach thing we both did that under sufferance to keep his mum happy. He wants to take in Auschwitz so we’lL plan an itinerary around there. I’m still single I’ve tried this online dating c**P and that’s what it is. I just seem to attract the fakes or possessive , psychotic desperate type or maybe I’m happy with my own company

So I always come on here after a while and say I won’t leave it as long but in reality I probably will, when I started here I was prolific poster and couldn’t understand why people disappeared from here and assumed they could only be gambling, while I’m positive some are I ain’t so they is hope. Life just got in the way.

While writing this I’ve realised it’s not only here I’ve neglected I’ve also neglected the friends I’ve made through Gamcare the people I spoke to off the forum be people who was always there for my any time any day. I need to fix that and will do soon.

So as always it’s better to ramble than gamble.

KTF

Hey you....
How weird you posted today ...was thinking about all my old gamcare buddies today....just finishing another diy project....no walls knocked down....but f*****g paint everwhere !. ...like you...I pop in/out of here.....but do out of touch on here.....real life's just so busy.....and it's great to be living it isn't it ....
Love the sound of the holibob....great that we can plan things now life's more settled for us both.....
Stay away from those dating sites big man....twill come along when you least expect it....shame our cod father's not around...he'd have plenty of tips for pulling the birds in sure. ..lol .
Anyhow... ...you take care....big hugs xxx