Better to Ramble than Gamble.

So just wanted to drop u a line to Sa all your efforts worked well, cheers mate, Adam, Adam poker

​

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

I’ve just read my post from 4th + 5^th Dec 2015 (see below) which was supposed to be my wedding day, boy was I in a bad place. I do love the line” I'd be setting off to the town hall to say those words I DO instead I've had to change them to I DONT gamble anymore”3 years on I actually even forgot the date on my non wedding anniversary.

Things are so much better I never thought they would be 3 years ago but by staying away from that first bet and working on my own demons the future is a lot brighter.

Just a quick update just to share with people who are struggling it can be done if you put the effort in and it is definitely worth it.

KTF

Oldhamktf wrote:

Day 71

Been up since 6 trying to keep busy and my mind occupied but it ain't working not worried about gambling but just think what I should be doing. Should of had a big fry up with the best man by now then off for a fancy shave. I'd be setting off to the town hall to say those words I DO instead I've had to change them to I DONT gamble anymore.

Very difficult to stay positive today but going on my works Christmas do tonight normally I'm the last one standing but will see how I feel tonight.

Good luck to you all and keep battling

Oldhamktf wrote:

Day 72

Yesterday was the toughest day I have had since I started my recovery, not once did I take thinks about gambling but it was all about my the consequences of my previous gambling life. The day started early and boy did the morning drag, I didn't get to see my Mum till 11 o'clock and as soon as I walked in she burst into tears not that she was upset about me not getting married(which she obviously is) but because she was worried about me and how I was dealing with the day. It touched me and I gave her the biggest hug and squeeze. I kept myself busy for the rest of the afternoon and decided to go to my works Christmas do. On the way there I received a few texts from my fellow CG at GA, one of the lads give me a call and we had a good chat. I managed to avoid the labyrinth of bookies(which I have excluded but I still don't trust that system)on my way to the pub with a pocket full of cash. Had a great time several beers and a decent Chinese meal with all my work colleagues, it went really well for 3 or 4 hours I kept myself occupied talking with everyone until I found myself sat at the table on my own, with nothing to keep me busy I started to think and the fact I had several beers inside me probably didn't help and the emotions took over for a while, no one noticed and I nipped outside for a cig fortunately one of my friends was there and understood my situation and was a great help. I Pulled myself together and despite my best intentions not to end up in club you guessed it I did. Had a good time and had another good chat with another friend who told me how proud he was of me and the commitment I'm showing and dealing with everything.i did not partake in any dancing in the club just more beers and shouting to be heard over the music(god I'm getting to old for the club malarkey) I said my goodbyes and set off to catch the night bus, this is where it got strange at the bus stop I bumped into the same GA member who called me up on the way to my night out, while waiting for the bus which typically never turned up we seemed to have our own GA meeting at a bus stop in the centre of Manchester we was talking about all sorts it was like giving a therapy and giving feedback to each other. Bizarre how our paths crossed but really helped me. Eventually decided to bite the bullet and pay for a cab after haggling the taxi driver down from £30 to a more reasonable £22 and head home. Barring a few hiccups I think I have dealt today remarkably well.

On Saturday I have got my son and we need to sort out some Christmas presents for his Mum, not sure what else we are going to do but it's going to be a good fun day and I'm really looking forward to it just st hope hangover is not to bad

Until next time stay gamble free and the best of look with your battle.

Topman mart...you've come sooooo far...
Isn't it great....living in peace. ..
How's Barry's replacement 🙂
Big hugs xx

KTF,

Thank you for your message of support.

I have only read your first and last pages but I will be reading from start to finish over the weekend.

What a journey and story of success. You get out what you put in and you have certainly put your heart and soul into turning your life around.

Tomso

I’ve NOT had a bet today or since my last post.

Well today’s the closet I have come to a bet on the last 3 years 3 months to having a bet.

Don’t know why just woke up thinking I could have a bet and know one would know, I think the thing that saved me was knowing I’d know.

I was in on my own this morning my son had gone out to spend his Christmas money(something ive not “borrowwed” for once) I checked the fixtures picked out a few teams I couldn’t check the odds thanks to Gamstop so that stopped me opening up an account if I tried, so that bought me some time I think if I could done it there and then I might of. I’m barred from the bookies but haven’t been in then for 3 years they wouldn’t remember me, if they did I’d just go nextdoor. It was like I was on autopilot scarred me looking back, it wasn’t a big bet that I’d planned and it was only one bet. subconsciously telling myself I could control it, I got me money coat and teams I’d picked and set off. I was locking my door and and just thought to myself what an I doing!!! I turned right instead of left and straight to my Mum’s told her gave her my money and gave my head a wobble.

Reached out got loads of support back from the GA family.

Was it because I’d not been to a GA meeting for 11 days? I’ve kept GA active in them 11 days by randomly picking one of my GA contacts to send a text to.

Have I become complacent? Maybe a little, I’ve had opportunities to get to other meetings in the last 11 days and turned them down. I also think those around me have become a little complacent, not blaming them I think it’s natural to loosen the lead a bit. I’ve asked for that to reigned in a bit again

Feel better now and a bit chuffed to be honest, I’ll take it if it’s another 3 years before I have that felling again as long as it’s the same outcome.

More than ever it’s better to Ramble and Gamble.

Wow absolutely fair play mate for the diversion and moment of clarity. Reading that reminded me of the times so often I abstained for long periods and almost 'rewarded' myself with a bet as a treat for all my hard work... Only to want more of that treat once it wore off because I'm an addict and inevitably I'd be left broken and distruaght by the end of it all... All because I thought I deserved a treat. Like they say in GA, stay away from that first bet and you'll never place the second. So true. When you're feeling strong again you should pop into the bookie and renew that self-exclusion. Or even sort it online if that's possible. Anyway... Top post fella. Another key moment to celebrate in a brilliant recovery story.

Kudos Martin & there is the reason why YOU put in more blocks than a Lego factory...You were caught off guard - but the work you have put in on your recovery bought you enough time to ensure that “the right circumstances” never arose!

You have always been, and continue to be an inspiration...I too salute you my friend x

Thank you for such an honest and powerful post. You were one of the first people to welcome me to this site and offered some wise words in my early days which really helped, and I have always thought of you as an inspiration.
This post really registered with me as now that I have reached 141 days I guess I have become a bit complacent with the way I think about gambling. It's a good reminder that we need to always have our guard up and expect the unexpected.

Keep up the excellent work mate!

JW

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

Thanks guys your support certainly helped me.

So week has passed since I nearly had a bet feel much better than I did last week, got a meeting in which helped, back to my Oldham meeting on Tuesday which I’m looking forward to.

Since my last meeting at Oldham in 18th Dec I’ve been randomly texting one person per day from the just under 100 contacts I have. Some I’ve not seen for a few years from the 19 message I’ve sent only 2 have come back to me, a couple were honest enough to say they are back at it some still going strong without GA and others are current members. I’ve really enjoyed doing it and I’ve had some gret responses back.

Thinking of doing it on here randomly pick a page of my diary and the. Pick another random comment and send them a message. Don’t know if it will be as successful but worth ago.

KTF

Hey. ...not been on here much over the festivities. ...been a manic time in my little hub...the Chinese wasn't free....that was the new year buffet ! but I got the drift :#)
Sorry I missed your wobble....but I see you dealt with it .....sneaky little b****r. ....Mr addiction !
Like you....I've still got blocks. ..
Realistically it's only parental controls on my broadband. ...but I've no reason to remove it....and to be honest ....doubt I would remember passwords etc.....so there it will stay....
I hope you've had a good time over the shenanigans. ...far to much good and drink....like me I expect....the diet is due to start when I've finished all the chocolates....
Latest diy project finished just in time for crimbo....lounge overall...
Only kitchen left now (and all the required new bits ...bought and paid for )....so life's trunddling along as you would expect. ...
I miss all the old banter on here...but I spose it shows how we've all moved on and can deal with the big world on our own a bit more easily now....
Anyhoooos ....just cose I dont post to you old guys much....don't mean I don't think about you all...
I do....just the other day I meant a new customer.....Barry !
When he told me his name.....I just thought of you lot :#)
Stay safe .....big hugs xx

Thought I would come out of shadow and give you a comment your a true gent and what you have done through your recovery is great I know it still hurts what happened with the wedding ect but I see you defeating the boxing day urges and shows what a strong and cracking individual you are you will be happy again mate and no doubt make a great husband to somebody jft see you Tuesday

Morning dude I’ve only just seen this.

Mate I’m glad to see you made it through the Boxing Day temptation, I’d hate to drive the 100 miles up the motorway to kick you in the nuts.

In all seriousness it’s good to see that you come to your senses and your recovery steps have worked for you. From my point of view I’d say maybe go round and renew the self exclusions, you’ve shown addiction a little daylight there and maybe you slacked off a little with the recovery over Christmas?

You made a mistake picking out bets , you should know better than to risk temptation.

Credit where it’s due for going straight to your moms though.

If it ever happens again which I hope it won’t , ring me and I’ll shout at you for an hour lol

Always available if you need me

Have a good one x

Hey martyn. ...that's one hell of a cake....thanks so much for taking the time to make it for me...
#feelingloved#
I COULD NOT have got here without you guys. ....
#feelinggratefull#
I know we don't all get together on here now adays....but I'll always remember our early days with a smile....and cherish the fact that if any of us shouted....one of us would be here......I'm sure even our own cod fryer keeps an eye on us from the wings ....
Anyhooooos.....I've got a cake to finish...
#feelingfat#
Soooo love and hugs to you as well.....x

I’ve not had a bet today or since my last post.

Things are going well, no urges to gamble since in-between Christmas and New Year not sure where that came from think it might have been due to me not attending GA for a few weeks due to the Christmas break. With being my thoughts it just reinforces why I need to get to a GA meeting at least once a week, will be making sure I have a plan in place for this Christmas.

Got an open meeting coming up at the end of the month where I will get my 3 year pin think I’m going to rewrite my therapy normally I just add on to my original one but think it might be good for me to sit down and write a new one. Looking forward to the meeting about 8 other pins to be give ranging from 14 years to 1 years, got a really successful meeting running at Oldham with good numbers attending so much so if it continues with the number we have we might need to look at a 2^nd meeting. It’s great to see new people seeking out help no all keep coming back but those that do the majority are managing to get some good periods of abstinence and recovery under their belt.

I’ve just finalised a break away with the lads to Benidorm for next month should be messy again, I booked my flight in Dec and just done the hotel this month spending is already there, the amount of times when I was gambling would just pay deposits and try and win the money to pay for it probably did win it a few times but never paid it off earlier just continued to gamble with it then have to beg borrow and steel to pay for when it was due. How insane is it as now just goes to prove I always had enough money to do what I needed.

After speaking with Matt on here I put in a few claims for the ridicules amount of payday loans I had taken out, it’s been a bit awkward as the majority was taken out the ex’s name and have to bring things up about the number of loans and amounts I took out behind her back as caused a bit of tension at first but that soon disappeared when we received a nice settlement on one of the claims, I could of perhaps got a bit more but that would mean providing statements and more tension so have taken an offer I’m happy enough with. It does remind me of when I was gambling and we put a claim in for banking charges and got a cheque for a couple of grand, as the cheque was in joint names we had to cancel it and ask them to pay direct into the bank which they did and the proceed to gamble that away and then when the ex asked where it was proceed to tell some bull**** about the company going bust due to all the claims and could no longer pay us out, god I came up with some rubbish how I got away with all the lies for so long I don’t know.

Finally my lad was always worried how the split would affect him but he continues to prove me wrong, 8/10 A* and A’s in his mocks and the other will probably turn into A’s as long has he continues to put the effort in that he is couldn’t be more prouder sort a treat for him this weekend would I being saying that if I was still gambling, I very much doubt it.

I leave it there as always it’s Better to Ramble than Gamble