hi pete just wanted to say thank you for reading my blog
I read a bit of yours and i see similarities in what happened to you with what happened to me.
Online poker is a b****.
I'll try and read more when i have a chance,
just wanted to say hello and thank you for reading a brief part of what has happend to me
take care buddy
boggle
Thanks for all the support all really appreciated.
Came by today to add something that is missing from my diary, I have had a bit of time over the last few days and read a lot of diary's which is making me much stronger in the fight to beat this addiction but I read in one post (sorry I cannot remember who it was I thinkit was posted on Dott's or Shiny's diary recently, i will update when i have re-read) that the money is not the only thing that is important about beating gambling.
And that is d**n right! So I take this time to reflect on the changes in me since my compulsive gambling day's in the event that if i fall back into it this may help me think again!
Everythng is soo much clearer now, my head feels clear for the first time in a very long time and looking forward to what matters most. Building up those relationships with friends and family that I have neglected over the last 8 years or so. It is time to give back, I dont expect everybody to forgive me instantly, and be my best friend again far from it, I have to work hard at this and it will take time so that I am looking forward to and already making some changes.
The small things also, where I live there is a big fair every year, It's a big fair and the kids (including the big kids such as myself love it!)... We see a lot of Family and friends over the week it is here as they park their car's as we are just outside of it. Over the last few years I have dreaded this week as I used to shut myself away as had no money, didnt want to see any friends and family as felt guilty all the time and in no mood to socialise. This year it has been slightly different, mid week through and seen a lot of friends and family, caught up and have been able to slip a tenner into my younger cousins pocket for the fair (cost me a bit as I have many!) but d**n that was worth it, that feels good as I remember when I was a kid geting money and pressies from my Uncle was the biggest enjoyment for me and I have been negleccting that. Time to give back!
There are so many other positives, one is work. I currently have a decent paid job in the IT field, Ihave been self emplyed contracting over the a year now and have made a good impression at work so the opportunity looks promising for full time employment. This would not be the case if I carried on gambling, I feel much more relaxed and enjoy it more now ok dont get me wrong I have really bad day's sometimes bad wees but heh thats just work and the past haunting me, I can get over that!
Day by day slowly but surely I am starting to see a beter future. The thing I am mostly looking forward to this year is Christmas (ok its a bit away but I am). If you have had to displeasure(lol) of reading my diary you will remember my christmas last year. It was the pits and they werent too much better the other 7 of them too. Last year I blew my redundancy pay in 2-3 days 21- 24th of December if i remembercorrectly, almost 10,000 in 2 or three days and didnt even buy anybody a pressie, that made me feel so sick I spent the whole of Christmad day, boxing day and the rest of the week stuck in mylittle room trying to think of ways to get some money back, payday loans but couldnt due to them being closed. All things running through my mind. This year, I am looking forward to a proper one, spending it with family and not excluding myself. Cannot wait!
Oh and gonna book two weeks off work after christmas too and just get on a train and get out there to visit friends and famly again!
The moneydoes help, but it is only a small part of it I guess. It's theother things which do reallymatter to me but never really thought about that until now.
Thats my ramble for the day but feelbetter for getting that one out!
Have a good Gamble Free day...
Pete
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 82
First Target - 01/01/2013 -82 days
Hi Pete,
Many thanks for your post and first of all I would like to say well done on your progress! Reading your recent posts is fantastic and there is a great deal of logic in there! New members could do a lot worse than read your diary as it will help them see positive changes can be made by remaining bet free!
I just wanted to pick up on the money point! I personally would stretch it and say money is the least important element of recovery! As compulsive gamblers money is our fuel and without it gambling becomes far more difficult! Since stopping I have detached myself from money as much as possible! This isn't possible for everyone but I have good support and therefore I can go whole weeks Without handling a penny or a bank card!
You can't start a fire without a spark and money is our spark most definitely! What you will find is money has a way of building and looking after itself if we don't touch it! Clever really!!
I see you have set yourself a target and I will be running a new thread starting next week to coincide with that target so look out for that!
Until then take care and keep applying that logic it's clearly doing you good!
Flagg
JP
fella it is wonderful to a mans resolve to see you back,gamble free time under your belt and your resolve to continue to arrest the thing that does devistate many aspects of our lives.
It is for me a huge step in recovery to start making plans further than the end of our nose!!
At it I could not plan ahead as I could not count on myself for anything, those broken dreams,plans cancellations still haunt me sometimes today.
My friend you are aboard the gamble free bus,together lets stay there just for today enjoy the view!!
Well done from me to you, inspired.
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Thank's Guy's,. Flagg, Duncanmac. I agree totatally on both accounts.
Duncs, I totally understand what you mean about planning ahead, I must have organised about 4 small holidays to go visit people over the last few years and every one of them I cancelled last minute. Why? Because when the day arrived I had gambled all the money I had to go with. Why did i book them in the first place, I think maybe because I had a win, a cashout at that time which makes you fee real again but only until arrives in your bank account so you can then gamble it once more. Mon Dieu!
But, it's another day today and a positive one so Gambling head OFF, neutral mode activated and time to get busy for work and other things which do not include gambling!
Slowly getting back to reality, day by day. Minute by minute. Let's do it!
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 83
First Target - 01/01/2013 -81 days
Jungle pete thaks for taking the time to read my story - means alot! I am just taking it one step at a time (crawl before I can walk or run like I tell my wee girl). I am up for the fight and have so much to lose but so little to gain from the vicious circle that is gambling.
Jp
Fella you can rant away upon my blog, in my view I just hope it helps you and others in your resolve to abstain, for me my friend I just laugh at the ads, why do they always show the outside odds and the potential winnings for a ten quid stake ??? The same fella of scratchcards I stood a few weeks ago behind a fella who bought three at a tenner each !!! I often reference pound notes these days as for the price of those cards I feed my family of five for nearly a week!!!
There you are fella rant back lol.
Just for today my friend, let's not ruin ours.
Duncs stepping forward never back
Well another day, another day with no temptation at all to flutter away hard earned money, feeling good about things now so just looking forward to a holiday. Need to make plans but my lazyboss has not knocked up the Dec/January workshift rota just yet! Damned it!
Well atleast that's something to look forward to, another milestone reached today. Overdraft cleared Yippee. And my savings account has reached it's first £1000.00 in just a few weeks dedication! Good to see positive bank balances for a change my last 70 or so bank statements were always in the Negative, Negative...
Another day no gamble for me, another day at work and another day with things to do! It's all good on the East Yorkshire front!
Take care all have a good day!
JP
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 84
First Target - 01/01/2013 -80 days
HI Pete,
Thanks for your post glad you liked it I thought it was brilliant and oh so true, Sometimes we just need a prod to remind us whats really important and it aint and never will be gambling.
Keep shovelling that sand out pete your doing great.
All is well in Manc land to.. Jobs a gud un.
Enjoy your weekend
Blondie x
hey JP..
Still chuckling over those jellied eels.....lol...chas and dave eh? what happened to them?......
best line in their famous other song..'Its got more rabbit than sainsburys'...lol
You seem to be doing really well JP and noot loosing sense of humour whilst making big changes in your life...I shall be reading more when i get back home...
laters JP xx
R and D xx
an original west yorks lass who defected even "wester"!
Hi Pete,
Thank u 4 ur post on my diary 🙂
U r doing brilliant and u r sooo supportive of others here 🙂
Have a gr8 wknd 🙂
Warning: Post may contain strong or potentially offensive language, including possible FCC violations. The word... Gambling , Parental Guidance is asvised. Rated 18.
Thanks, Charlotte, Blondie, Duncs, Bobby etc...
Dotty, I have to have Dissected Eyes, and Pie, Mash and Liquor every time I go to London. It's just a habit! Lol I dont like em too much aswell, and Chas and Dave always seems to find it's way onto the turntables at family get tgethers! Haha
Well, day 85!!! And another pay day passed gamble free. Today's post
Free Spins Now! - You have 10 Free spins ready for you in your account!
120% Deposit Bonus and 20% money back on your Lossess!!!!!
Top Promotios1!!!
Earn Double Reward Points!
If you come back to our casino, (show's a winner of one of the Jackpots on the front and a short rant by him)
"I regularly play the Slots on ********* and after hearing that the ************** on ******** was high from my mum, who is also a member on **********, I decided to try my luck and have a go.
After a fair few hours of play I was getting tired and decided that enough was enough so my partner and I called it a day and headed to bed.
Once in bed something did not feel right and told me to get back on and have a few more goes so I grabbed my phone and set myself back up to play some more this time doing so on my mobile.
I had just made it in time to buy my tikcet for, what was now, to be the big ggame and then one by 1 my cards torned with the 1st five cardss out to which I sat bolt upright in bed frantically hittting my partner who by this time was fast asleep to wake her and tell her what had just happuned.
I could not believe I had just won ******.**.
Thank you so much ********** the money will be well spent on our wedding next year and a new family car."......(If it last's that long..Jack-a**) Hehe
(This bit's the best "Once in bed something did not feel right and told me to get back on and have a few more goes so I grabbed my phone and set myself back up to play some more this time doing so on my mobile."
...Yes...Thats called Compulsive Gambling my friend....They have managed to capture the Compulsive gambler and tempt us all theway, also notice how they introduced the mobile phone app too! Hilarious!!!!
What a load of Coblers, I mean they even printed it with spelling mistakes and double letters if you notice as though it come straight from the winner himself! Haha Notice that this dude is a compulsive gambler lol and all their family! This is just hilarious.
Also at the bottom.
£11, 275,545.70 Paid out just Yesterday!
I've been watching a few episodes of South Park lately and as Mr Mackay would say...
"You know where you can shove that letter...Mmmckay... And Cartman.. "Screw you guy's" ans Kenny "muouu mmuus mmuus ,ikikg gsfgs jkujj;k;k" And Kyle "You d**n right"
And From me
I can now see the funny side and this is just another wasted resource and straight in the recycling bin. I guess there is gonna be loads more of them to come, but it makes good fun reading.
Well I dont have much time today so getting ready for work once more and will catch up with everybody a little later in the day.
Have a great weekend all.
JP
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 85
First Target - 01/01/2013 -79 days
Morning Diary,
This morning I have to tell ya, I'm in a pretty good mood!
Lazing it around the house, without a care..That's right!
Flagg's got a new post, a new 90 day diary,
Now that's what I'm talking about. A must to fight!
Up's and down's, no money no life
Sick of it all.. Need to find a way out.
Some day's I may be crumbling, stumbling or fumbling even malfunctioning!
But for once, I can say that I aint bloody Gambling!
I can see a light at the end of this crazy ride
Gotta be strong, gotta take it like a man! (sorry girls).
Blocks in place, taking it all in my stride
I know I can do it, I know that I can
It's now my 86th day gamble free,
And let me tell ya! It's the best place to be.
No more slips, no more repeat.
No more remorse, I will end this for real.
As Duncs would say
"No bet just for today"
That's goddam right!...
And it tastes bloody Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Time for a Pickled egg.
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 86
First Target - 01/01/2013 -78 days
Hello Diary,
Nothing much to report today my friend, stressfull busy day at work brought a few gambling urges my way, strange when you feeling on a high then all of a sudden it comes smashing you in the face like a wave!
However, wioth a few moments to recollect my thoughts I knew that I couldnt possibly achieve it with the blocks I now have in place so it was time to think of something to so.
Now with two days off, what toooo do I say, think I will go visit some family or something to take my mind of it. Sure I'll be right by the end of the day!
Two challenges now in tow, my own and Flagg's! Time to focus again!
BetFree since : July 22nd 2012
Day 87
First Target - 01/01/2013 -77 days
hi JP
Great animated posts there ...can see your personality leap off the page and come alive there which is what its all about right?..coming back to life after being shackled in a gambling prison....
Sounds like you are keeping busy and visiting family as you said on your days off...im also off today but taking it easy....
Its great that you use your diary as a medium of expression...i love to see that..as you can really see you coming back to life.
Take it easy JP and if you get bored just shout and i will say..."Hey.....you just get your b**** a** back in the kitchen and bake some jellied eels,mash and liquor pie"
lol
R and D x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
