Born again, again!

Yet another diary from me, I have progressed in the time since I joined this forum, but I could have done better and I could have helped myself an awful lot more. But the past is gone and I can change the future. I can't give up and fall back into my old ways. So this is a new diary for me, I need to reflect on what has worked for me and what doesn't work and I have got to try harder! Its now 4 days since I last gambled and thats a start, the days need to add up and I need to work on myself and stop making life so hard for me and those around me.

The last 10 weeks have been a struggle, my work situation has changed, my job became untenable and I took a redundancy option. It has been mind numbingly boring to be out of work since then, but thankfully I was still getting paid up until a couple of weeks ago. My pay out arrives on Wednesday and needs to be transferred straight into my partners bank before I get tempted to gamble any of it. I have had loads of interviews and I'm positive that a new job is imminent. The birth of my baby boy is under three weeks away and I can't wait to see him. I have no doubt about my ability to be a great dad, but I don't want to ever miss out on time with my boy and my family because I'm stuck in a bookies again.

So I have to take a look back at whats worked for me and what hasn't. Firstly I can't control the urges, they can come and go anytime and I have been weak too often in the past and given into them. I need to work on better coping mechanisms and find ways to fight off the urges. What has worked for me at times in the past is to totally avoid all knowledge of horse racing meetings and not to read newspapers, so that can be something for me to focus on. Also to give financial control of my funds to someone else has been a help, it used to be my mother but now I will pass this onto my partner. Self exclusion is a help, I'm self excluded from all the online sportsbooks and all the local shops, but this doesn't stop me getting in the car and travelling to a town or city where I'm not excluded, so will power is a must. I could never attend GA meetings because of my ever changing rota and working evenings, well now I'm not working I can finally attend of an evening, and all the jobs I have been applying for are days so I no longer have an excuse stopping me attending GA. I will be attending a local meeting this Thursday night. Finally this forum has been a huge help in the past, so here I am starting a new diary and hopefully all these factors put together will be a huge help.

Its good to be back on here and I hope to add a lot more positivity to this diary and by taking things a day at a time life can get so much better for me, all I have to do is make that crucial choice not to gamble!