Brennzky's Journal

Im Back. After about 2 years of off and on , I hit a hard time this month. I realize now that its not at all about the money, but about the feeling. Even when I was doing better financially I still wanted to gamble. Alchohol plays a huge role in it, and I have to admit to myself that I must quit that addicition to fully beat gambling. In every single case of relapse that I have had, it was during a night of drinking at home in front of the computer. It really is a disease.

Looking back at my posts from 2015 I feel gutted that I didnt keep it up, but at the same time I know much more than I did back then. I am reaching out to people now, attending addiction counseling next week. Since 2015 I have had a daughter, and she has really changed my outlook on life. Im not only doing this for me now, its for her as well.

So here we go again, Day 1, a day I never want to have again, but Im here and I know I can take this thing farther. I need your support.

Brennzky

Day 5 and almost a week without playing. Feels great again, and with that I am also 5 days alchohol free. Its such a nice feeling to wake up each morning with determination and focus rather than shame and guilt. Reading my older posts from 2 years ago sure helps with the motivation. I have to learn to get addicted to this feeling instead, as it makes me feel much better than gambling. Anyway I feel great, time to stay strong.

A week is gone and I havent gambled or had a drink and I feel fantastic. My bank account looks bad at the moment, but if I keep this it up it will mend itself quite easily. I have started a proper budget to help things move along. I know Im still hurting from my recent gambling binge, but just the fact that I have started this recovery makes things much easier to take. I am happy, I am enjoying each day, things are looking up. I don't know if anyone reads this, but if you do please realise you are not alone, we all have been there, and we can all stop and have a great life ahead of us.

Brennan