Brennzky's Journal

Great work 🙂 & don't worry about a relapse, be on your guard & dive in here the second you feel the urges creeping up on you to prevent one!

Onwards & upwards - ODAAT

Good post about self loathing. I am in that stage. Just had a relapse and can't get over hatred for myself. Your post made me realise that need to be stronger and more positive that I'm really trying and starting to put in place the pieces to correct things. I too started eating better and I started exercising again for the first time in years! Well done on your 26 days. Don't be a fool like me and have to start over again. Really well done pal.

Day 28. Thanks everyone! Dont worry Change, just keep on coming back here and dont give up. When you wake up in the morning without that guilt, just take a moment to enjoy it, take a deep breath and smile knowing you did not do anything silly the day before. I do that every morning, and internally pat myself on the back for not giving in. Once you get over hating yourself, you learn to respect yourself, and for me I do not want to let down those I respect.

Taking it one day at a time, but I am now seeing the results in everything I have done since that last day of gambling. Little by little things are improving greatly, and its not just my self hatred, its my relationship with my wife, my job, my health, and my bank account! And I can acheive all of that without 'hitting it big' with a payout. I wish you all the best and stay strong!

Well you are ahead of me but well done in on day 8 so a long way to go

Awesome J33, Day 8 is great. For me Day 8 meant I had gone a full week without gambling. Day 29 now and Day 8 didnt seem that long ago. Just keep up the good work and whenever you feel the urge then hop on the site and read a while. I too have a long way to go, as this is a change for life. In reality wether its day 1, day 8, day 29, day2093, they are all the same if you have truly commited yourself to not gambling. So yeah, no matter how big the number, if you have the strength and commitment you have allready won. Stay strong.

Day 31, a new decade, feels good. I am still a bit depressed that lost so much in February, it really comes back to bite you. Good thing is that I have quit so no more minus! Stay Strong

Day 39! 11 days away from 50. Bank account still hurts but I am slowly seeing the benifits of stopping. But more importantly I feel better about myself, and each day I dont gamble makes me realise how much better life is without it. Not much to say, I just hope you who is reading this is also sticking with it. Stay strong.

Day 54! Awesome I have made it almost 2 months without this aweful habit invading my life. Got a meeting with the bank next week to get rid of the little minus I have left on my line of credit, then its smooth sailing forward from there. Was even able to book a holiday yesterday without feeling guilty deep inside, knowing I could afford it! Back in my gambling days I would gamble to try and win money for a vacation.... SO SILLY!

Anyway things are still great, no urges. I have seen so many positive effects of not gambling I donno if the urges will ever come back.

I wish you all good luck in the struggle!

Brilliant news mate you are doing great. Like any addiction it's always there lurking in the background so we mustn't get complacent. Well done on booking the holiday you deserve it 🙂

So sad.... I relapsed this month and lost 2k

I was doing so well, and never feeling depressed...

Day 2, starting fresh again.

Ahh I did it again! I need to come here every day and let it all out. THe time when I wasnt gambling I was SO happy, and never depressed! Reading my posts from earlier this year is starting to motivate me again, I am glad I started this journal. I was doing well financially, but every couple of months I would lose a chunk. It all started back in July after over 100 days of no gambling. Here we go, this is Day 1. Again. I am going to beat this. I will see you all tomorrow

Day 3. I feel empty, alone... My car just broke down and I am dreading how much it will cost. I just have to take this one day at a time. Financially I can recover if I manage to actually QUIT! Its the hardest thing I have every tried to do. It seemed so easy last time, and I thought I was clear, but I got dragged down again. I WILL BEAT THIS. The reward from beating gambling is greater than any jackpot. Pray for me.

Sorry to hear of your realspe, I did the same last week even tho I won 1000 still feel as bad as a loss, all the best mate we can do this

Thanks Pol! Things are looking up, I have gone 1 week without gambling. Thats 7 days! I am slowly remembering how I felt back when I quit the first time, and although it takes some times, just seeing that number getting higher makes me feel MUCH better. When I relapsed back in August, I too won like 2-3K, but put in more I reckon, so I lost. This last month I put in close to 1600€, trying to win back what I put in. What a shame!

I had an urge 2 days ago to try 'just a 100€' to see what would happen, but I stopped myself andn it felt great, especially when I woke up the next day. 100€ is a LOT of money, and I would think nothing of wasting it or more in a night.

This is the toughest thing I have ever had to do! Bring on week 2.

Annnnnd its back to day 1.

Beware the dangers of casinos giving you a free bonus, all this does is wet your appetite and you cave. I am very ashamed, and today I feel terrible. I WILL fight this and I WILL beat this. I need support and help. It really sucks when you cannot control yourself even though you KNOW the consequences. The thought of easy money is just tooo tempting. Well, I have to look forward, whats done is done. I hope you all the best and stay strong.