Bye bye roulette, once & for all

Hi mylife,

Just read your intro and sounds really like you have a good understanding of how destructive it. Especially when you talk about winning doesn't make you want to quit and enjoy the money, you just want to keep going.

In the past I've had £1,000's in my accounts/wallet and almost felt a feeling of relief when it was down to zero because I could not gamble any more.

Like you I like a saving and love the HotUkDeals website! Actually won't have much money to spend over the coming months/years but still will look to save a few quid when I can. I'd drive 10 miles to a cheaper petrol station to save £3 on a full tank, but i'd throw £500 on 1 hand of blackjack in a heartbeat. Something not right there!

Thanks for the replies Tearsofaclown & Emily.

It means alot that to have received some replies, it does go to show we are not alone in all this, sometimes it feels like fighting a loosing battle, especially when like me your trying to over come this horrible way of life on your own without telling your nearest and dearest.

I would never want to burden this problem i have on to my family, i had an excellent up bringing from my mom & dad, never went without anything, was always treated as their princess and to be honest i still am, if i was to ask my parents for something i'd get it at the drop of a hat, so im really not sure why i turned to gambling in the first place, especially roulette. And my partner, well he's fab too, he's my rock at times, sometimes i lay in bed looking at him while he's sleeping, and i think to myself, you really don't know what i liar i am (this is only gambling related) when we first got together he had alot of debt (not gambling) he never told me about his problems, i found out for myself, but to cut a long story short, i helped him, directed him to help, and together we paid of those debts, none of which where mine, but he is apart of my life, so whats mine is his, well thats the way i see it, but reverse the role to me needing his help, i'd never tell him, i wouldn't want him to think bad of me, i know deep down he would help me, but i really don't want him knowing to be honest.

Anyway, Today has been a good day, i went and did some christmas shopping with my mum, enjoyed spending a few hours with her, we have so many laughs together, love my mum to bits 🙂 she's my best friend. No time to even think about gambling tonight as the other half will be home from work soon, so i can now say, my day 1 being gamble free is nearly complete.

Have a good evening everyone, stay strong xx

Me Again 🙂

I have just copied my story from the new members section, so that all my story is in one place: x

Hello (Again)

I'm by no means new here, and yes ive still been playing that crazy game roulette, The funny thing is, i've not suffered any major losses lately, but i've now decided i really need to kick this habbit once & for all, while i still have money in the bank, all those new accounts i opened so i could get my online roulette fix have now been closed, i don't actually think there are many more sites out there that i could sign up to, seem to have been there and done most of them, what a fool eh? I sometimes sit back and think, i bet these sites love me, keep pumping my hard earned cash into them!! the jokes on us gamblers really isn't it? 🙁

Im soooooo careful with money in everday day life, i won't spend over and beyond my means, i shop around for a bargain, if im out food shopping, and there is something we don't desperately need that week i won't buy it, i will always shop around for a bargain, i make sure we are getting good value for money, my other half sometimes even calls me tight! (if only he knew about my addiction)

It's been a few years dealing with this addiction now, and i know things could be so much worse (this can happen though if i don't stop now) i have however been to hell & back a few times while dealing with this addiction, at one point i had debts of over 14k, back then i really was in a bad place, couldn't sleep, or anything, but even being in that much debt at the time, it didn't stop me keeping playing the stupid game, someone up there was looking over me one day and got me out of that mess owing all that money. Surely you would think, stop now, you got lucky, it's not going to happen again. Did i stop?? ermm no, because i'm a compulsive gambler and i really don't know whats good for me.

So after that big win which sorted me out big time, i carried on playing, the stakes where getting higher and higher each time, the debt was mounting up again, the winning seems to be the worst part for me, If i get that big win (which i have had a couple of times) it makes me worse, i keep going, i get greedy i want more, i do usually manage to withdraw, but as quick as it hits my account my depositing again, fool?? yes im the fool.

But hey, here's to my new life, i know ive said this before and feel abit daft saying it again, but im done with gambling now, i want the new year to be the start of my new life, so if i quit now, i'll have a fair few days clocked up under my belt when the new year starts.And also while im debt free my other half never needs to find out about the double life ive been leading the past few years. Onwards and upwards, bring on the year 2015!!

Any advice for keeping me strong is much appreciated, i know there will be days where the urges are immense but i need to overcome this, so when i get the urge, im going to find something else to occupy my mind.

I cannot go into detail but i am unable to use blocking software on my computer , but like i said i think im self excluded with most of the companies out there.

Good day everyone, stay strong, together with support we can beat this!!

DAY 2

It's only a quick post as the other half is off work today. No time to even think about gambling again today.

I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY

I'll check back in later / tomorrow.

Be good folks, stay strong

Hi mylife, thanks for your best wishes, we`re not bad people, we`re just weak people, we just need to start making the right choices & life will get better. Hopefully I`ll always be a day behind you. Have a good gamble free day.

DAY 3 🙂

day 2 yesterday was completed with ease as i was kept busy all day and with the other half being off work gambling was never an option anyway, if only everyday was like that, i wouldn't be in this mess.

I know its very early days yet, but already it feels likea huge weight has been lifted, my mood has been on an even keel, not all over the place like it has been in the past, due to the emotional roller coaster that gambling puts you through. I keep checking my bank balance when i get a minute alone, and thinking of all the good i can do with that money instead of gambling it away, this time im going to book me and the other half a holiday i think for next year, about time i did some good with money.

I'll be back again later with another update to let my diary know that day 3 is going well, because I WILL NOT GAMBLE TODAY.

Hi Emily,

Thanks for the post.

yes lol, im female hehe.

I didn't know you could subscribe to things, i'll look into doing that so i can follow you too.

I like you am also regarded as the strong one in our relationship, and the sensible one!! o*g sensible, all the money ive thrown down on a roulette table and he thinks im sensible!! Well now hopefully i can get back to being sensible, starting by having another day of not wasting a single penny on gambling, I have no intentions of that again today, Sundays used to be one of the main days i would gamble, mind you, saying that i had started gambling at every oppurtunity i could.

(Details of a sunday from what i hope to be my previous life)

Wake up, first thing i would think about would be logging on to play roulette, i'd lie there in bed thinking umm which site have i not self excluded from, where can i play. come down stairs put the lappy on, get myself comfy, bank card in hand ready to find a new site, do a frantic google search, "live roulete casino" scroll all the way down the page until i find a name of a site i didnt recognise, banggggg found one, perfect, i can get my fix, i think today is going to be a good day, im going to win some money, ohhh already i would be thinking what i could spend my winnings on before ive even won anything, even though deep down i knew my winnings would never get spent on anything but gambling again.

Anyway, im all registered on the new site now, ive deposited £200, i like to start with a decent balance so i can have some big bets, so i can win big!!

Im now in the room, the roulette wheel is already spinning when i enter, gutted ive missed that spin, im saying to myself oh please don't land on 8,11,17,33, oh mannn it landed on 33!! i would have been on that number, gutted!!

Now its time to place your bets, ok so the usual, 8,11,17,33 the only reason i ever chose those numbers where because they where the ones i had won a decent amount on, so now im hooked on those number, i'll start by just putting a fiver or tenner on each on, bets closed.....no win, oh well, i'll go again, lets throw in another number it might come in, nope, no luck again.

Try again, yessss it's number 8, i had £25 on that this time, kerchingggggg, I'm well in profit now, i'll get the money down to an even amount then i'll withdraw. fast forward a few spins later, the balance has virtually gone, what happened to getting that balance down to an even number only?? I couldn't because, im a compulsive gambler! Right i've lost that win and my deposit, I'll deposit again, this time i'll deposit £500, so i can try and get those winnings back. Yes you know the story, i've had a couple of wins from that deposit, i should have withdrawn, why didn't i withdraw?? you know how it goes, compulsive gambler here!! so the balance is zero again, im now feeling really sick, thats my day ruined now, all i will be thinking about is my losses. Go to live help, tell them i have a gambling problem, get this account closed, im never doing this again!! Im done with gambling. The rest of Sunday spent feeling like utter c r a P. Have to put that fake smile on when the other half comes home, pretend ive had a good day, it might be easier to just go to bed i think so i don't have to tell blatant lies to his face, no i can't, he'll think there is something wrong if i do that. I just grin and bear it, get through the night with him, go to bed together, he's fast asleep in no time, im lying there wide awake, thinking what the hell have i done, this problem is getting out of hand. Shall i go back downstairs and find another site?? see if i can at least get my money back?? this time i decide not to incase he comes downstairs and wants to know why im on the computer at stupid o'clock and not it bed. It's ok, I'll get some sleep ready for work tomorrow , then when i've finished work, i'll find that new site, the one that im going to win big on, i'll have a few hours to myself before he's home from work, so plenty of time to get my money back.

Monday's antics to be continued tomorrow. (i'll do a day by day diary of my old life) so hopefully i can look back one day and realise how foolish my behaviour was.

stay stong everyone, today is another day, and today i will not gamble.

Day 4

Been a busy day again today, this is the danger time now im on the laptop at this time of night!! however i only have about 10 mins to myself before the other half home from work, so im going to sort the washing, and then take the dog out for a little walk, not going to far, its to bleeding cold out there lol.

Im so happy ive gone 4 days without playing that vile game roulette! This is the longest ive gone for a while.

Im not going to get chance to come back on here tonight with the other half being home, but i'll be back tomorrow.

Have a good evening everyone.

Day 5

Wow these days seems to rolling round rather quickly, soon be in double figures! no thoughts on gambling today, ive been really poorly today, so other than hanging around feeling sorry fo myself ive not really thought about much else. Im enjoying cheecking my bank balance and not seeing a massive difference in the credit and available balance, all the figures actually add up! it's not been like that for a long time. usually im waiting for £200 to come out from that company, then another £400, oh and £500 from the other one, None of that madness anymore.

Stay strong everyone.

Emily, hope your ok hun? xx

Day 6

Struggling a little today, just found myself doing the google search for live roulette, decided to close all that off my screen and come on here instead. After this post im going to turn the computer off and go into town, as at the moment im really in the danger zone. I will resist this urge!

.... And thats exactly why im scared of getting a lap top... that explanation of a typical Sunday could easily happen to me. Done big big bets on fobts but at least on them your limited to 100 quid spins.. im guessing theres no limits online which scares the hell outta me!!

Back to it, gambling again, i won't rest until i have no money at all, thought i'd self excluded from every site going, but hey found some new ones, i have a serious problem, will i ever get over this addiction, i feel so ashamed, didn't really want to post back here as done it over and over so many times. This needs to stop now, I cannot go on doing this. So here's to yet another try, hopefully this time i'll not be so easily defeated.

Hi my life,

Agree 100% with what Emily has said, it's a blip, you have made so much progress, don't be disheartened, we are in recovery, and every day we don't bet is a big positive, don't deduct, carry on dust yourself off and hold your head up high, because you are in recovery, and you want to stop, that is such a big positive to move forwards.

Suzanne xx

My Life,

if it were that easy, none of us would be here! You fought through to Day 6 last time & you were brave enough to come back here & admit it so you know you have the strength.

YOU CAN DO THIS - ODAAT