Change is changing as things have got to change

Day 34... feeling good about myself for getting this far. Got to keep going.

Day 35... had a decent day and avoided gambling.

Day 37... feel like I haven't done a proper update in a long while. Still doing well and will pay off my debts this week! Took me a few months long than expected due to the relapses but it feels good to get that off my back.

The stretch from 10 - 40 days has been the tough one for me in the past. I feel a lot better about myself though. The change is really around a mental shift and realisation that gambling isn't the way forward. It'll just go wrong either on the first bet or the second bet or the third bet etc. However I still think about placing that first bet and it helps to have the barriers to stop those thoughts. Life is gradually getting better.

Well oh they might wear classic reeboks or knakered converse or trackie bottoms tucked in socks but all of that's not what the point is not the point's that there ain't no romance around there

Hey Change, thanks for the post on my diary. I have just had a read of your diary and you are doing really well. Keep fighting against that first bet and don't ever give up on giving up. I hope things at the hospital are now more positive. We can't change the past but we can the future so lets never darken a bookies door again!

Thanks Bornagain! Still at the hospital but making progress so lot better! Thanks for asking.

Day 44 - still going strong. Feel like I've been neglecting the forum a bit so need to try and get on here a bit more often.

Hello change,

Great progress. It's brilliant to see your posts. Keep fighting.

Lucan

Day 48 and started a 'swear box' today. £1 every time and I'm on £10 for today... don't even know in doing it. Absolutely ridiculous. Can't believe how much I must swear!

Hi Change , now thats what I call winning ! With that swear box you'll be as rich as a bookie in no time ? Lol .

Congratulations on 48 days winning !!! Alan ......

Day 56 and still going well!

I actually have some money in my account that outweighs my credit card. Amazing to be in this position and can't mess it up. Just paid a bill and have another one to pay but got to do it. Payday end of next week will recoup them. Must keep going.

On a side note I walked past a laddies today and there were two stops and they were as big as the fun! Is that a recent change? Or is it just a change in my focus and I'm seeing the wood for the trees?

Hi Change and thanksfor the kind words my friend !

Isn't that a nice feeling , when you have a few quid left at the end of the week or actually paying a bill instead of whacking it on the credit card ?.

I've missed that feeling for so many years. Your right about the poster change in the bookies window , drove past one of my old haunts today and bloooody great poster in the window , in fact it obscured the whole inside of the shop from view .

Dont know how old you are ? but when I was young all bookies windows had to be blocked out , so you could not be seen by anyone walking past . But then again there was no sis and the results were marked up on a board, by a woman with a beehive and a felt tip pen , most importantly no effing Fobt's !!! Yeahhh !!

Best wishes buddy for day 57 , Sounds good eh?

Alan

The thick plume of smoke emancipating from those old school bookies is something I will never forget. I can't liken it to anywhere else. The smoke just used to hang at head height across the whole room. Weird but bookies weren't such places of deprivation in those days. Well they didn't seem to be to me! Really in last 5 years or so they've gone off the scale and there are so many lost souls in them.