Changing for the better

Hi M,

Thanks for posting on my diary. We know gambling is a mugs game and I for one am utterly bored with it all.

It's good to see you back with us again. Well done M. Keep going, it's all worth it.

Jas x

Evening Diary

Week 2 going well. Do feel very positive this time and not sure I understand why!

Nothing is different that I can think of. Perhaps I have just accepted that I will never be able to gamble in any way, even in moderation.

Time to move on to other things. Down to the driving range then. See if there is any chance whatsoever of getting my new driver to go straight!! Now that is a challenge.

Night all!!

M

Hi Mr. T

Looking at the year in your name, it seems that you and I are of a very similar age and with the same 'disease' that we are so desperate to cure. I have just read the first couple of and the last few pages of your diary and there are so many similarities here - frightening, really!

The only difference is that you have a very loving family and I am still single. Gambling for 30 years has put paid to any social life whatsoever for me but I have been in a job for the last 12 years which is so rewarding.

Now, I see that you have children. You really must say to yourself how lucky you are and that your past (and may I emphasise PAST) gambling problems has not gone to the point where your relationship with them has got really bad.

Please remember that you ARE a loving Dad - you obviously are as you love talking about them and you had enjoyable outings during the weekends. DON'T relapse again please and make sure that you put all of your effort in to make week 2 become week infinity! Do it for the sake of your wife and kids.

Playing golf is great as it is a healthy pastime for you away from work and your family (yes, it must be nice to have some 'me' time now and then!).

You feel very positive today and so do I but remember that there will be times when you and I will be thinking about the rock bottom moments. We just need to make sure that we hold on to those to ensure that we never feed those greedy bosses of gambling organisations ever again. Use your hard-earned money for your family and pastime - I use to play golf years ago and loved it (don't play now because of time) and now do lots of running including half marathons, etc.

Hope this helps and I will certainly be looking forward to more positive comments in your diary.

Keep it up - WE WILL WIN THIS!

A bit of an update.

Haven't been around for a couple of weeks. Time constraints with regards to family/work/courses have kept me completely absorped. And I'm pleased to say gamble free.

Back now to a more routine week, so I guess this is where I need to start being careful again.

Have lost track of the number of days, and have no real desire to look back at the moment.

Take care all.

M

Good positive post mrt mate....as long as you know dailly you are bet free then you are building something....stay strong you can do it. 🙂

Didn't think I needed to post everyday. Didn't think I needed any help.

Perhaps I didn't believe I had a real problem.

Clearly I do.

This may well be the rock bottom I was looking for.

3 hours and £2.5k wasted. There, it's in black and white now. Maybe it might just sink in.

Whoops mrt that is a big slip mate but at the end of the day it does not matter how much is gone as it HAS GONE and it aint coming back anytime soon.

Look forward mate--you now know the pitfalls of thinking that you have gambling beat cos it really has you beat everytime you go along with it.

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

How true is that??

Hopefully the penny will drop this time but rest assured you are not alone mate as many of us have done the same as you before.

It is not the stopping gambling that is hard it is the not starting again that gives us trouble!!!

All the best

Stumper

Just been on Netline chat for the first time. Spent a lot of time talking about feelings which seemed to be a challenge for me.

So here we go, feeling dissapointed, frustrated, angry, embarrassed, overwhelming disbelief. Oh and of course upset. Very upset. I seem to just like to make my life difficult. Just as things seem to be heading in the right direction, BANG. Fortunately I just make my life difficult. My beloved wife and children WILL NOT suffer because of my stupidity.

Many pages ago I said I didn't want to hit rock bottom. Perhaps today I have hit my personal rock bottom.

I hope now the only way is up. In front of me there is only one small ledge a few feet down a very deep abyss.

Thanks to all who may read this

M

Worst nights sleep for many a year. Consumed with anger and disappointment. As has been said though, the only way is up.

So, up it will be.

Take care all

M

Hi,

I just posted my diary and yours was next to it so i thought i would check it out. Your post could so easily have been written by me - i was so very close to loosing my resolve yesterday but something stopped me. I know i would have been feeling just as you are now and perhaps anger and disapointment are the right feelings for a bit but then you have to put those feelings aside and carry on. Dont let those feelings consume you as the guilt will eat away at all your good work. You have done very well to get to the stage before the slip, think about this.. success is counted in every step so why is failure all in one go??

You havent failed you came to a hurdle that you couldnt get over, its done now so carry on as you were before onwards and upwards.

Kindest regards

linda x x

Morning MRT,

Time is a great healer and I hope it won't be long before you are starting to feel a bit better.

Put some blocks in your path MRT. Self exclude and limit the amount of cash you have available. Tell a loved one about how you are feeling, let someone close to you help you.

You can do it MRT.

Jas x

Sorry to hear you have had a bad night's sleep mate. The anger and feeling of utter despair that we all feel at times like this is not worth it is it. The times I would wake about 2 or 3 in the morning with crazy thoughts going around my head. Desperation, fear and even suicidal thoughts were the norm for me---stopped gambling and tried to not worry about what had gone, only think about now and the future-guess what-I sleep much better and more importantly I feel much better and this has a positive knock on to my family etc.

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

Stumper

Time for an update.

I made the decision to completely distance myself for ALL things gambling related for a while, including my diary. However, as time goes on, I thought it would be prudent to get back on here to avoid complacency.

It is approaching a fortnight since my last and hopefully final gamble on the fobts.

Of course, as time passes, the thoughts of just having another go return.

So what to do this time? Can't self exclude, as travelling around a bit. So there is always somewhere to go.

Just need to remind myself how content I have felt of late. And how much more productive I have been both at home and at work.

Thanks to all who have posted previously, I will do my best to catch up with all soon.

Take care all, along whatever path your recovery may take you.

M

Hi mrt

Thanks for posting on my diary and thanks for your kind words. Hope you are well mate, ands

sorry my post so short, just wanted to thank you!

Morning All

Today is day 14 of this effort and I will not gamble!

M