Changing for the better

Have just managed to delete a long rambling post I was at the end of! Well done!

In summary, no gambling!!

Lovely day here, golf tonight and golf tomorrow with customers. Why would I want to make a return to a sad, lonely existance shovelling notes into a machine.

Annoyed this morning with the news that the MPs are debating to relax current gambling laws to allow an increase in machines per shop. Can't see it making much difference to the number of shops that they think it will, just an opportunity to increase bookies profits and tax revenue.

I guess that as these machines remain only a problem to the minority then, as ever, the majority rule! Although I would like to hazard a guess that the vast majority of the profit these machines generate is from problem gamblers.

"Pareto principle - 80% of your profits come from 20% of your customers."

Rant over

M

Anagram for the day:

Slot machines - Cash lost in me

How very apt!

I find myself logging on to this site daily, reading diaries and searching for inspiration.

I post on mine occassionally, then stop and drift back into my old ways.

When I do post, I always try to answer some of the new diaries, but it is somewhat dissapointing to not got a response on mine. (Although thanks for yours Ands)

It almost seems like walking into a social club, and although there is a common denominator, it is very difficult to break into the group sometimes.

In the real world I am an outgoing social person who can walk up to people and engage in conversation. I'm not particularly good at doing this in the cyber world though.

I want to stop, I really do. Wasting so much time and effort gambling is dragging me down now. There is more to life, I've seen it and to most, probably have it.

I don't know what I'm looking for here, thoughts, comments, advice, anything I suppose. A harsh "talking" to. Really not sure.

I'll plod onwards for now.

M

So in a few days time I turn 44. Yet still I learn nothing about the illness I seem to have acquired.

Blighted my life for, I don't know, 6 years or so.

I need to break the cycle, sooner rather than later.

Time to start afresh. Leave cards at home, carry little cash find something else to.

One day at a time then............

Just me then............ Thanks!

Hi there

have only been around on here since Jan but have been finding it a safe place to offload all the feelings that are raised around this problem.

Hope you keep posting and making use of it but if not hope things go well for you.

xxx

Been a while since posting, as until recently, not much had changed.

Gambled, stopped for a few days, gambled again won/lost/won/lost/lost/lost.....etc. You all know pattern!

I've now not gambled for 3 weeks which is probably the longest spell for a while. But this time I have started to despise the thought of going to a bookies.

A guy I used to bump into in one of the bookies got sent down for defrauding locals out of 105k. He was always on the FOBTs and we used to talk. I don't want to associate with people like that!!

So, for now, I will not return to the ways of a few weeks ago, a bit of distance now and I only hope it grows.

Thanks

M

Just had a trawl through my bank statements from the beginning of this year. When I went to bookies, quite often I would have any payouts paid onto my debit card.

The total this year, 29420!!!! Do I have any left.....no! Am I down..... considerably!

So this would mean that this year alone I have stood in various bookies and shovelled about 2150 20 notes into their vile machines. Probably a lot more.

A sobering thought, for me anyway, as week 4 begins.

M

Hi mrt,

Well done on 3 weeks.

There is no fix or solution with gambling just sheer hell and misery, abstaining and maintaining is the only way out of the mess, keep going and win.

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Right.... I fully intend to post on here every day, even if it's inane drivel!

I am in a mess, but will work my b**t off to get out of it, because I can. I am in control of that unlike other things!

So, the end of a bloody hard week, another 11 hour day draws to a close. Off home via the shops, food shop that is, and not the other sort like a few weeks ago. Weekend off, kids/golf/general family stuff to enjoy.

Then an even longer, harder week will begin. I'm not complaining about it, I thoroughly enjoy what I do and have done for nearly 30 years. Stay focussed on that and I will be better at it.

Waffle over!

M

Hi mrt,l

Your determination shines through well done, it's a rollercoaster ride but has to be worth it.

Keep posting and keep strong, the days will soon mount up and make you stronger and that is sooo positive for you.

Suzanne xx

Morning!

Quick post, as I'm sat in the car in a car park behind the barbers! Two doors along, one of my previous haunts. Eugh!

Being weak, I have enough on me for the car park and a haircut. Better safe than sorry I guess.

Have a good day all.

M

Morning all.

Good day yesterday. Spent the whole day doing family stuff.

Golf in the afternoon with my son was a good laugh. He's only 13, but is developing a real love for the game. Wish I'd started when I was seven!!

Up early(ish) for a Sunday, changing clocks that got missed yesterday. Looking forward to cooking a nice piece of beef for lunch.

Have a good Sunday.

M

Another day gamble free racked up.

Still at work, off home soon for a homemade curry. Been a long day, but occupies the mind I guess.

That'll do for now, very tired!

M

Lot of thoughts going around in my head, mainly on what has gone. Could have had so much by now , but haven't.

Material things that is anyway. Got my family which I cherish more than anything else and I guess that is what is most important. If only they knew!

I'm not thinking of going back to the dark side, far from it, but it does bloody hurt.

Frustrating that for the first 38 years of my life I never gambled apart from the occasional trip to a casino. Had certainly never been into a betting shop.

How quick things can change. 7 years of hell!!! Still no one forced me to do it, all of my own doing.

Putting it down seems to help. Focusses the mind again.

Onwards.........

M