Changing for the better

This is the first Tuesday that I haven't thought about gambling. Don't know why Tuesdays used to be the day, but they were.

Feel so much more in control now. Amazing what this addiction will do to you.

Keep strong all, it does seem to get better.

M

Hi mrt,

Great to hear the urges subsiding. As gamble - free time passes, life can and will get better.

Keep it going,

DT.

6 weeks have now passed since my last visit to the fobt's.

Had no real urges of late and feel positive about the coming weeks.

Still giving myself a weekly target to stay clean.

Good luck all

M

Day 47

Delighted to say still gamble free and the urges are getting less and less.

Feeling the benefit now, not just in more family time either.

Keep strong all fellow recoverers, it does get better.

M

Hi mrt,

Just dropping by and great to see that life is improving for you. Takes a lot of determination but it sure is worth it.

Good stuff,

DT.

Haven't posted for a bit, so an update.

Was out with customers at the weekend, and ended up in a casino. Was there for sometime and didn't have any desire to have a go. As the drink took hold I ended up putting £20 in one of the roulette terminals. (Not the FOBT type). Didn't win and didn't feel the need to chase the loss.

Bit confused about how I feel about that. Dissapointed that I didn't abstain completely, but "pleased" I didn't chase down the £20.

First real test I suppose. Going to end up in these situations when out and about. Unavoidable if the group want to go to a casino.

Still, onwards and upwards.

Good luck all

M

Morning mrt,

Credit to you for posting honestly about your casino visit. With pop inside and gambling all around it's pretty inevitable that something 's gonna give. If that £20.00 triggers more thoughts of gambling and you feel out of control with it, get back to basics on here again, post post post if you have to. If you can deal with it as money lost and move on there's not too much damage done here.

Genuine regards,

DT.

hi mrt... try your best to forget about that £20 lost....as you know if it starts to play on your mind and you want to get your money back and feel like you are still evens..you will end up back to square 1..stay strong m8..i have a big roulette problem and have lost tens of thousands on those fxxxn machines...i just want to add something which might make you think...try this ..add all the numbers on the roullette wheel together and see what you get...it amy be coincidence but i am telling myself those machines are evil...all the best harry

Well, I've messed up big time. That one trip to the casino has ruined 7 weeks good work. The demons are back with avengence. Been back on the fobts wasting more money that I can't afford.

So today is day 1 again, I'm sat at work typing this with a lump in my throat, at a total loss as to why.

I have to beat this, without fail or exception. I must do this for me, my sanity and most importantly of all my family.

Finally, I'm sorry to those of you who have supported me and given me advice. I've let you all down as well as myself.

So for today, I will not gamble.

M

Hello Mrt,

First off just to say that you havent let anyone down.. its a tough addiction.. most of us stumble around in the dark in the early days. I first started trying to stop about 8 years ago and it took me several years to start getting going in recovery. One day at a time is the way it has to be.

Forgive yourself but at the same time, build up the barriers.. you know all the usual.. self-exclusions, money out of reach etc. keep posting.. S.A 🙂

Hi mrt,

Sorry to read you last post. I won't patronise you(makes a change for me) by saying anything glib but try and stay as close to this site as you can. When you were posting regularly, supporting, going to chat I remember you saying that the urge to gamble was diminishing.

It's a stumble on along road, nothing more.

(Sorry - glib/patronising - but I do genuinely mean well)

Take care,

DT.

This is purely for my benefit. Not searching for sympathy, but a way for me to look back to remind myself how low I am right now. You did 7 weeks and threw it away. Ok, some might say it is still 7 weeks with a break, but all the emotions of gambling are back, not to mention the money and time that has been lost. And the lies about why you were out longer than you said, both from work and home.

Think about what you want, the holidays, time with your family, not wanting to feel like you do now.

Spent the first 37 years of your life not needing to gamble, why have anymore years like the last 3 1/2.

From this point on things will only improve.

I may be wrong but what I am hearing, is someone putting a lot of pressure on themselves.

Im sorry you are feeling so low. You sound like you are trying so hard.

I wonder would it help to just think about today? I know when I start thinking in terms of forever, giving up gambling looks extremely daunting.

You have come from a place where you were betting every day, to one where you managed to resist for 49 days in a row. Please dont kid yourself that this is not progress. If its not progress then im a monkeys uncle!

I hear your frustration, I really do. I dont know if im going to bet tomorrow - none of us do. It helps me to just do my best today, and deal with tomorrow when it arrives.

I agree with DT that it is hard to offer genuine support without sounding glib or using cliches. I hope this comes across as supportive without being patronising.

Take care,

f x

Should have been 10 weeks today, but this is now day 2.

Will not gamble today, and will take the experience of the first 8 weeks and use that to progress.

Thanks as ever for all the support including last nights chat.

Good luck all

M

Hi MRT,

You haven't lost your 10 week gambling free....and that's some going and should be congratulated! Class it as 10 weeks less 1 day....don't be too hard on yourself.

Noone said this would be easy but I'm sure you will get there. Just takes time and a whole load of patience.

Take care...Jas x