Hi all, as I write these words I feel completely and utterly disgusted with myself. My online gambling is out of control and I’m in danger of ruining my life and losing my FiancГ©e and 2 year old son who I love more than anything in the world.
This makes me even more angry at myself because they are the ones I’m hurting but when I’m gambling I don’t give them a second thought. I don’t know why I gamble as much as I do, I’m pretty sure stress is a trigger but it’s no excuse. Maybe there is something more deep-rooted going on in my head that I’m not aware of…maybe I’m just a bad person?
I shouldn’t have this problem, I’m in a good job, earn decent money but then I just fritter it away when I could be spending on my family, improving our quality of life but instead I just have a knot in my stomach and feel sick thinking about the thousands of pounds I’ve thrown down the drain.
I thought by writing all of this down I might be able to make sense of it all and take the necessary steps to beat this addiction so I can be the best father/future husband I can be. At the moment I just feel like a fraud and a huge disappointment!
This is the first step of a new path for me. I’m going to try my best to document my journey as I hope it will help me come to terms with things. Feel free to read, feel free to comment, feel free to ignore. For me this forum is just a place for me to open up and be honest.
Welcome N2oon, it's not easy to admit to yourself you have a problem. Read as much as you can on here and take advice, you can't do this alone and should consider speakig with your partner and put blocks in place to stop and stop now. One step in front of the other, day by day. I'm pretty new to this myself and it's not an easy ride but i'm glad you have started your journey and look forward to reading your updates. All the best Dan
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
