Closure - 13th Feb 2014

Day 42

Hi Brian, Thanks for your post - it's comforting too know there are others who have been through the same as me.

Anway, feeling a bit low recently so it's time for a pep-talk.

The facts are, other than a 'blip' in September, where I suffered no financial loss, I've been clean since May - nearly 6 months ago. I haven't beaten the addiction, but I'm well on the way.

Financially, I've paid off £5,000 from one of the Credit Card debts. Ok, not quite to plan (I'd hoped to have paid off more), but a huge step in the right direction. £5000 every 6 months would mean I'd be clear of CC debt in 3 years, probably sooner when you consider the interest rate will decrease.

Worry about Christmas - OK it might cost £1000, but will easily be repayed during the first few months of next year.

We expect a lump sum of cash next year, and although will not be used for CC repayments, will be used for holidays, Xmas and the like.

My OH finding out is still an issue, and a burden. Things are good between us at the moment, and I accept she has her faults, which is rich coming from me (!), but I know she loves me. All of my accounts are on-line, and finances are generally left to me to sort - she's generally happy just to go along with whatever I choose. First time around, I had to tell her, but this time around, I don't think she'd be as forgiving, and I don't want the fallout to affect my kids.

I'm generally an overly-optimistic person, and I often set wildly optimistic goals knowing that anything close is an achievement, so I press on with this plan knowing that with each passing day, the gambling urges reduces, the debt burden reduces and I become happier/less stressed and better Dad and Husband.

Come on Michael, you have done amazingly well to get this far, you're on your way up !

Day 43

Money to hopefully cover Xmas appears to be going through. However, I've just been rejected for a 0% Balance Transfer Credit card which means I'm stuck with my high interest ones. I have huge credit bills, huge overdrafts and a huge mortgage. Our total owed is now nearly 5 times our combined income. Eye-watering ! I need to keep plugging away at this.

A bit dis-concerting considering that I've never once missed a payment on mortgage or credit cards.

Hi Michael...I thought my credit rating was pretty rubbish at the minute (not through missing payments but through making too many applications for credit to try and move my high interest credit cards). I thought I was a good few months off being able to get a 0% balance transfer card but there is this tool on Money supermarket that if you allow them to search your credit report (it doesn't come up as an application for credit but it is recorded as a search I think) it will then tell you what credit cards your most likely to be accepted for. There was one that came up for me the other day and I got accepted for a 17 month 0% balance transfer. Give it a go, at least it shows you what you're likely to be accepted for and you don't ruin your credit score by applying to companies that are definitely going to decline you.

Well done on keeping on the wagon! I feel your pain about the cost of xmas but we will be able to breathe a sigh of relief when January comes 🙂

Lots of Love

Shorty xx

Hi Micheal,

Sorry to hear you got turned down for a credit card.Its not just about if we miss payments but also the figure we owe goes to the credit score also.Seems stupid getting turned down though if all you want to do is a balance transfer as you are not increasing your debt.You are just moving it to another card.

Just because you got turned down for one does not mean they all will turn you don though.

You were very upbeat yesterday and keep it up.You are making inroads and doing well.As we know it get you down but every day is a day closer as long as we dont gamble.

Its not easy but its doable and you are proving that.As you get further down the road with payments and get it to a " Normal debt amount " if you know what i mean then things will be much better.The normal debt amount is much closer than the total debt free day so stay focused on that day as it shall seem so much closer.

Keep doing well as you are now.You will have ups and downs as its part of the process but the main thing is dont quit quitting buddy.

All the best

Steven

Thanks guys.

Shorty - I'll give that tool a go. Thanks for that. I have made a few applications in the last month to extend overdraft, extend credit limit on my credit card, and apply for a new CC, and I've been rejected from all 3 !

Although I have alot of credit left - I've checked my credit report, which makes me sleep easier at night - I've cut most of the cards up, but the accounts are still open if I get desparate.

Steven - Your post has encouraged me - I am making in-roads to this debt, although it's still dangerously high, I reckon I can get it to less than £30K by Jan.

The last 4 years have been a financial disaster for me/us. Up until 4 years ago, we had a £50,000 mortgage living in a small, but comfortable 3 bed semi, with a few thousand on the Credit Card. Then I got a bee in my bonnet about wanting to move, to a larger house, nearer the school and nearer to friends. I was sucked into thoughts of a huge house and our mortgage advisor telling us that we could afford the house of our dreams and he could arrange for a mortgage to cover it. I took the bait, and we agreed a price at the very peak of the house price boom. We also agreed a fixed rate, 5 year mortgage, at we thought was a low rate, but it turns out, it's probably double what we'd be if we'd taken the variable rate. My gambling started when the reality of a huge mortgage hit home, about 6 months after moving in. This I believe is a contributory factor in my gambling downfall - reckon I've lost in the region of £80K in that time, although, I've earned about £30K doing extra work and overtime at work. But what really pains me about the whole situation is that is is happening when my kids are young - I spend all my time fighting this, when I should be enjoying time with my kids and family. Ok, we have good times, and it's not all doom and gloom, but I have the reality of the situation on my shoulder 24*7.

Regardless of whatever anyone says, I cannot enjoy life fully until this weight is lifted, and with every pound paid off, that burden becomes lighter.

Hi Michael,

I think a lot of people are in the same boat with big mortgages and negative equity which is what happened when I was living in America a few years ago too and led to the whole financial crisis.

On a positive note, once your fixed term ends in a years time will you not revert to variable and half your payments (if interest rates stay low)?

I know what you mean about staying positive etc but ultimately you say you will only feel better once debts are paid off. I was in a desperate rush to get my debts paid off and went to ridiculous lengths to do so, punishing myself in the process. Added to this stress you have your wife, oblivious to the debt, sometimes spending money you would rather wasnt spent. Its like your rowing in one direction and her the other at times (not her fault of course).

I just respect your resolve and like a famous boxer once said "everyone wants to go to heaven but no-one wants to die!". What I mean by that is a lot of people with big debts run straight to bankruptcy or an IVA to take the easy way out and its their family who take the hit (by losing house, credit etc). You're doing everything possible to get to heaven (debt free) through hard work and determination and I REALLY respect that quality in you.

Days 44 & 45

Still waiting anxiously for a £1000 BT into my Current account to materialise. I really really need this or else I'm really really struggling this month - this is very tight.

But, the gamlbing addiction is no-where in site - which is the good news, but the fallout from this seems endless.

Days 46 & 47

Relaxed a little now as the money has finally come through - so hopefully, that's me sorted for Xmas ready for major debt busting during 2012. Need rid of this once and for all. No gambling thoughts.

Hi Michael

I dont post very much on your diary but its one i always read.

Ijust wanted to say i think your doing a great job you must have the biggest set of shoulders on you as you are doing this on your own dealing with some large debts.I noticed a few of your posts suggest things were getting abit tough and you came across as quite down[ i might be wrong]

Anyway im waffling just wanted to add some support .x

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I've been a bit anxious of late regarding money. I really want to give my kids a great christmas, and I was worrying that I wouldn't be able to cover it, but I think I have it sorted now.

Anyway, some good news today, thanks to Shorty's advice (Shorty, if you read this, many many many thanks) I've managed to find a Credit Card which I can BT at 0% for 17 months. That'll bring my min payments down by about £100/month and save about £100/month in interest. Ok, my debt is still the same, but it'll become much more manageable. I'll try for another 0% BT card in 3 months time.

Things are looking up for once.

It must have been the same one that I got accepted for as that was one with a 17 month BT offer! It does take the pressure off a bit when you know you're not paying vast amounts of interest. And if you think about how much you will be able to pay off in the next 17 months (if you remain gamble free) then things seem a lot more positive! I have nearly all my credit card debt on interest free now, feels a lot better knowing that any payments I make are coming off the balance and not just paying off the interest! And I'm pretty certain our credit rating will be a lot better in 17 months so there should be no issues with tranferring it again if we need to 🙂

Things are definitely looking up!

Lots of Love

Shorty xxx

Day 48

Feeling more positive today than for a long time. There's money in my account, my min payments/month have reduced - still loads to do debt-wise, but aiming to get ALL of my CC debt onto 0% during the next 12 months.

Almost forgot to mention - no Gambling urges whatsoever. In fact Gambling thoughts zero, so I'm going to stop even mentioning now in my posts.

Day 49 & 50

Another few days further away from my last gamble and I press on.

Hi Michael

Just wanted to say that I have been reading your posts tonight and think you have done a great job in getting yourself sorted. Your story has inspired me and I wish you all the best!

Fools Gold

Day 51

Hi Fools Gold - Thanks for you comments and I'm flattered that my posts have inspired you.

Gambling urges are so far away from the conciousness it's difficult to understand how I'd ever get them back - but I know it's happened before, so not getting complacent.

Anyway, just realised I've pushed through the 50 day barrier !