Hi Micheal.
Thats really good that you are not worried about the debt as this means that you are more at ease with it and gambling has not had another victory over you emotionaly. Also its great that you still have the hire car as it must be virtualy new and any maintainence costs shall be covered by them regarding this car.
I am very impressed on how the gambling thoughts are far from your mind and you shall get stronger and stronger as time passes.
As i said before the debt shall come down and that debt free day shall come as long as you keep doing the evcellent job which you are doing now regarding all aspects of your journey to the glorious debt free day.
It does take time but as i also said the more you pay of, as you know the interest comes down so it leaves more to pay of.Its a snowball effect.
Its hard at first but you know you are getting there.I also hope you get news of your promotion you applied for soon and i hope its good news. Debt aside, character wise you have so much going for you and when that debt free day comes you shall emerge a much stronger, wiser and better person through the lessons learnt. Trust me as i am there now. Life shall be good for you soon buddy. Just keep doing what our doing and you shall be there. On my road i looked at short targets and not the big picture.I found achieving these small targets more satisfying than looking at the big picture and this gave me more inspiration to beat the debt and gambling.
Once again well done buddy as it can be 2 steps forward 1 back but the main thing is you are not gambling so you are going forward. Any advice you need regarding the insurance company please feel free to give me a yell as i do know about these things my friend and you can trust me on that.
All the best
Steven
Day 134->136
Hi Steven, A bit of good news this week. In spite of my pessimism, I actually got a better than expected write-off value on my car. I think that the default action is to reject the 1st offer, but this was more than my target, so I took it.
I no longer have gambling thoughts, and continue to fight this debt. It really is a painstaking process - I need my credit score to improve before taking out some 0% BT cards. In the last 4 weeks, it's jumped 80 points (out of 1000), but it's still classed as "Poor". I need to continue paying off the debt, and not applying for credit. Hopefully in 2 months time, it'll be high enough for my to apply for 0% cards again. I'm on top of it, but only just, and I have to work 60 hrs/week to stay on top - if I reverted to my normal 40hrs/ week, we would probably sink.
Hi Michael,
Great news about the car offer !!. Thats a result. It gives you more money to play with. I can totaly understand your frustration regarding the debt as i have been there. As time goes on though this frustration will definately turn into optimism as the debt reduces, the interest reduces which gives you more money to pay the debt. It snowballs into faster larger payments off the debt and you will start to feel better. It can seem a painstaking process as you said but this will pass and it is going the right way and thats the main thing.
You are aso right about not applying for new cards for a while as this will increase your credit score. As you said its already jumped 80 points out of 1000 so thats good news as your credit score is on the up too. An 8% increase in your credit score is great so it should not be long until you are back up there. I know you can either pay experian a set monthly fee for unlimited credit reports or you can pay each of the main 3 credit reference agencies £2.00 per time and get your credit score imediately online now. The agencies in order of which most companies check are Experian, Equifax and call credit. Experian is the main 1 by far as it is used by nearly all CC companies and certainly all major CC companies.
I have added a link here to let you know which credit card agencies use which credit reference agencies to check your credit score and then you can check your credit score with the relevant credit reference agency before you apply for a credit card. Its http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/credit-reference
This is a great tool to use before you apply for a card as it tells you which creddit reference agencies they check your score with and thereforemyou can check your score first before you apply for a card.
I hope i have been of some help Micheal as any information, even if we know it can only be a good thing i hope. As sometimes some people have given me ideas here i was not aware of but if you was aware of this please accept my appoligies for waffling on buddy.
Also keep strong as you have been. You shall get to that debt free day as you are one of those that has the strength and determination to win and beat the debt as this is reflected in your diary.Never let one bad day ruin 100 good days of work my friend as thats all it takes sometimes.Just keep doing what you are doing and you are doing great.
All the best
Steven
Day 137->140
Hi Steven, Many thanks for your advice. I'm actually a member of PrivacyGuard - OK, it costs £6/month, but I can get as many Credit Reports as I want. It's important at this stage as I continue to fight this debt mountain.
The way I feel at the moment is that my Gambling feels like a past life, and in some ways, as each passing day goes I struggle more to understand what was going on in my mind to push me into Gambling. Bout 1, between Sep-08 and Feb-09, losing 57K, and between Jan-11 and May-11 losing 29K. It'll be 4 years this September, since I innocently stepped into a world so far detached from real life it's untrue. But in some respects, I've been lucky in that I haven't lost anything, and I have a situation, that I still beleive is recoverable, but by heavens, it's a long long long long road. And it's something that enveloped my entire life for 100% of that time - gambling ruins lives.
Last night, I watched a match on TV, where I saw constant advertising hoardings for online gambling, I saw a football team advertising gambling, the show was sponsored by b e t 3 6 5, and half-time advertising breaks including long commericials for the company who I gave 29K too last year. But I wasn't angry, just very saddened. It's s**t really - a long line of innocent punters falling foul to gambling companies, promising them a £10 free bonus, in the hope that they'll ruin their lives.
Day 141 -> 144
My posts are becoming less frequent now, as Gambling thoughts are a distant memory. Just continuing to deal with the aftermath, day-in, day-out. The situation improves daily, inch-by-inch - painfully slow progress.
Interestingly enough, I was clearing out some stuff at the weekend and found a diary I kept from about 7 or 8 years ago - a time when I had a comparatively tiny mortgage, tiny bills. The kids were toddlers, we had great holidays, money to spend, compared to now, absolute stress-less bliss. But I read, and was amazed by the pressure I put myself under to pay off bills, mortgage and be a good Dad. Why do I do this to myself (?) I put myself under pressure 4 years ago, and ended up gambling away a fortune, and again last year. I've stressed my way through life, I think trying to better myself financially, trying to do everything to create wealth, but ending up just getting frustrated and taking risks (most of which spectacularly back-firing). And at the moment, I'm on autopilot, piling through work and making money. I don't watch TV, I don't socialise, I go to bed at 12, and get up at 6 every day, I take no exercise, I eat junk food, I hardly spend time with my OH, and I get incredibly annoyed with folks who want to waste my time. I can't live the rest of my life like this, I have to take my foot off the gas, but I'm terrified that if I do, then bills don't get paid and mortgage payments get missed. I want to blast this debt out of the water once and for all, so I can continue with my life without those worries. I'm giving myself 12 months to get rid of the CC debt.
Congratulations on the anniversary of your forthcoming debt-free day - or something (if it's still valid - perhap's it'll be sooner?)
I follow your diary, although I've not felt the right moment to comment until now. We're a similar age.
Good luck
Hi Michael - thanks for your post on my diary. Yes, just a blip but could have been a really expensive one 🙁 the only good it has done is remind me of the hurrendous stress that gambling causes. Not only have I spent the weekend stressing about winning my money back but now I have another few days of stress waiting for them to process my withdrawal. Anyway, no chance of me reversing I can promise you that. Once that money goes into my account I am paying a huge chunk off my credit card. I think the reason why I justified depositing in the first place was because I had a bit of 'spare' cash. How on earth can I think I have spare cash when I have 40k to pay back?! Absolutely mental behaviour!!
Anyway, glad you're keeping on the straight and narrow. I really wish you would stop working so hard, or even treat yourself to a few days off a week from your extra jobs that you do? I know that by doing this you might extend the length of time it takes to pay back the debt but you need to start enjoying life a bit more. You deserve it after all the hard work you have put into your recovery 🙂
Lots of Love
Shorty
Like you, I am hoping to be debt free around this time next year (Easter 2013 is the planned period).
This really is not that far away. I can vividly remember what I was doing this time last year and that does not seem too long ago.
Just remember to take your foot off the gas a little every now and then and treat yourself a little.
Enjoy your day,
GT
Day 145->148
Feeling more positive today. Had some bits of good news, and some potentially other bits of good news, which, may make March, and extremely good month money-wise, I mean twice as much I normally earn. I'll not diverge the facts, but during March I could potentially get through an enormous chunk of debt. I need to focus and get CC#2 paid off - I cannot risk any other thoughts sneak in that could destroy everything. March is shaping up to be a very good month, but need to remain calm and focussed.
Day 149->150
Minor milestone today (150 days) - looking forward to reaching 6 months next Month. My mind is currently awash with ideas and possibilities. With an excellent payrise, and a potential promotion in the pipeline, coupled with the extra work I'm churning through could lead to a position where the debt will indeed take care of itself. But I need to take the opportunities with both hands. I need this promotion, more than most, and this should drive me on. I know that I'll never ever "put the lid" on this episode, and it will stay with me forever. However, in the 3 and half years of gambling / recovery, stress, worry, and every other emotion that goes with it, this is an opportunity that could put an end it once and for all. March is shaping up to be a very interesting month - I need to focus 100% on the things I can influence and get this promotion.
Day 151
Just been doing some sums. Between last May and Jan of this year, I've worked an average of 58hrs per week EVERY week, and I've managed too pay off only £1309 - that's everything added up means that the credit cards, mortgage, savings (ha), everything. How incredibly depressing. Massive mortgage, massive unsecured debt. Bought at the wrong time, on a rate which plummetted within 1 month on a 5 year fixed deal (with 1 year left). I then gambled away £80,000 - how incredibly stupid. Our 'friends' talk about "never having any money", but it's all total b*llocks. Sometimes I wish I could tell them my predicament, and then tell them to shut-up, but it'll never happen.
Hi Michael,
I know this has been approached before, so forgive me, but why wouldn't you consider looking into taking an IVA. Around 40-60% of the debt would be written off and after 5 years you could get credit again (you already have a mortgage so thats no a problem).
I completely admire your resolve and I appreciate there is a taboo about IVA/Bankruptcy amongst some people but the scheme was created for people with debts they cannot manage. Im no expert but I think you fall into this and just want the best for you. You would keep your house, car and pay far less than you are now.
Day 152
Hi Croboy, I think yesterday's post was more of a reminder to myself not to get overly carried away with things. Should be adding 4 or 5K to that total in the next few months. I'm going to resist the IVA approach for the time being, as I still believe that it's possibly to turn things around financially - my pay is leaping up, and there's a chance of promotion. I'm also slowly shifting CC debt onto 0% deals. It's a long, sometimes frustrating process, and once I get to a level of min payments which is comfortable then I will take the foot off the gas.
Hi Michael....I know your credit rating isn't the best at the minute but in a few months time why don't you consider applying for a loan to consolidate some or all of your credit card debt. I have 3 loans on the go and although the monthly payments are a bit steep you are committed to paying them off every month. At the minute I am paying back £620 a month in loan payments so that is automatically coming off the debt each month before I even make any payments on my credit cards. It also means that if something unexpected happens and I have to put a couple of hundred quid on the credit card I can still think to myself that I have paid £400 off the debt. Even if I had to put £620 on the credit card at least I'd break even.
It must be really disheartening to have paid off so little but at least you haven't added to the debt and it's going in the right direction. Fingers are crossed for you with regards the new job, hope you get it and it eases the strain on the bank balance!
Lots of Love
Shorty xx
Day 153->156
A big couple of months coming up. Alot of cash coming between now and the end of April. Having had months of frustration in debt repayments, suddenly everything is coming in at once, and I have a real chance of paying about £7500 off the debt - that's 1 and a half of the credit cards.
Also, the chance of promotion is on, which'll might mean a few extra hundred pounds coming in/month.
Since May of last year, I have done nothing but worry about money. These next 2 months are my big chance to alleviate these stresses and strains. I've worked harder than I've ever worked in my life since last May, and it's been as tough and frustrating but I'm going to go for it in the next 2 months. This could be a watershed in my recovery, and it's mine for the taking.
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