Today i left for work and left a whole log along with a covering letter for my wife to read once she got in from work on her afternoon break.
It detailed what i had been doing regards to gambling in secret this year and how much debt i had accrued and also the positive steps i have made lately in order to stop.
I had to do it this way as our paths briefly cross lately and to break something like this during the little precious time we have together............well there has never been a right time.
Prior to this i gave myself a deadline by the end of the week to tell her but after the weekend i thought today would be the day.
I didn't want to carry this lie and burden on my own any more, it was eating me up inside not telling my wife.
Naturally i had a text message whilst i was at work informing me she had read everything.
My wife understandably now feels angry, upset, disappointed, let down. She now blames herself.
Our relationship hasn't been brilliant for some time, which has been a trigger but it is not all her fault at all.
Gambling to such extremes is an illness and it is one i want to recover from.
I feel glad now that everything is out in the open but i wish i could stop my wife feeling like this.
Time is a good healer and i hope it does.
Although i have been doing really well lately and not gambling this has spurred me on more than i thought possible to never gamble again.
I do not want putting my wife through all of this heart ache to be in vein.
I am waiting for her to come home from work after 8pm and hopefully we can discuss everything in a civilised manner.
I am anxious about her walking through the front door but also want her to so i can re-assure her and move onward.
Well done on opening up to your wife. In the long run it will be the best thing you have ever done I am sure. It's going to be difficult for her and for you for a bit, but that's understandable as it's a huge shock.
I would definitely advise that you keep telling her it's not her fault. It's so easy as gamblers to place blame on many issues in our lives (work, marriage, health, stress etc) but deep down we know it's something within us that gives in to the demon.
Perhaps you should suggest she reads some of the posts on Friends & Family forum or that she even signs up and asks for advice herself.
Best of Luck
Craig
Thanks for that Craig,
I wasn't aware of the friends and family forum so i shall definately suggest it to here this evening when we sit down and come up with our way forward.
All the best
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
