Dan's Journey

3rd February Day 8 GF Today

I completed my first week. Feel positive and felt positive yesterday.

Yesterday i didn't let anything make me feel upset or low. I had a very positive conversation with my boss, my company have been brilliant and very understanding. My wife has excepted its an addiction and i can't help what i did.

Coming on here and speaking to people, reading replies to this diary and reading other peoples posts has been such a big help to me. It is great speaking to people who understand, seeing other peoples opinions, their problems and how they have overcome them or working to overcome them.

This is such a great place and wish more people use it or know about it before the problem get so big.

I need some advice though, can anyone help?

I keep getting emails from all the sites i used to use, offering me bonus's to log in, or change to an sister site and offering me a bonus to do so etc. It's fustrating, i've self excluded but getting more and more emails everyday because i'm ignoring them.

How can i stop this? Help is appreciated.

All the best today, Go Get that +1GF today

Hi dan, my partner had the same problem with volumes of e-mails. For the time being I have access to his account and have changed his passwords (only I know it) and monitor the emails just letting him know when there's something he needs to see. It takes away temptation- we plan to set up a new account for him soon which I will also have access to. Would your wife be willing to do this for you? Just a suggestion. Well done on your first week x

Thank you Miss JJ.

I'll speak to her tonight and see.

Can they be blocked in anyway? What about writing to the companies stating you are excluded and do not wish to receive any further emails? Don't know if it will help or not.

I had the same problem - the hotmail account I'd had for 10 years was getting sent loads of e-mails daily and eventually I had to set up a new account and transfer all my contacts etc. It was a pain in the b**t but at least I wasn't getting bombarded with all that garbage.

4th February Day 9 GF Today

Not in a good place today. Bad nights sleep, too many thoughts dreams directed at gambling, winning money and debt problems.

I'm hoping it will clear soon. Don't want a weekend like this.

Does anyone know of any sponsor type place, where someone is their for you.

I thinking I've seen something where maybe you have a phone you can text chat to someone when you feel low. Maybe it's AA instead I've heard that.

My struggle is I have GA on a Tuesday and councillor on and wednesday and then nothing.

Hopefully the days gets better soon

All the best today everyone

Hi Dan. It will get better I promise. I still have dreams abour betting and I wake up thinking w*f? You can have a text chat with GamCare or a phone chat - Netline above. In my view counselling and GA may help but you have to have inner resolve as well - WHICH you do have even if you think you don't. Have an online chat with one of the GamCare advisors. The link is http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline​. We're all here for you - don't forget that.

Hi Dan

If you're self excluded from those accounts the companies shouldn't be contacting you although their databases often seem prone to convenient malfunctions. Mr L got offers through the post and I sat with him while he spoke to the operators on speaker confirming the self exclusions which again conveniently they didn't apparently have on record. We followed it up with letters to the head office stating he wasn't to be contacted again by any means for any reason. So far so good.

I dealt with the email offers on his behalf. One lot tried to turn awkward but a threat to report them to the Gambling Commission for breach of their own responsible gambling policy got them back in their box. Fight fire with fire.

Hi Dan, your GA meeting would be the best place to ask about a sponsor. I did go to an AA open meeting where a temporary sponsor was offered on the 1st visit but this wasn't offered @ GA & where I am currently, people only get sponsors when they ask someone to start working the Steps with. That being said, the group should have a phone list of people who are willing to take calls so that you can reach out when you need to & actually, I have been positively encouraged to do so. Have an ask on Tuesday but in the meantime, don't be afraid to put anything down here, you may not get a response but sometimes just letting it out releases the pressure.

For what it's worth, I wasn't one of the ones who immediately found sleeping possible & even ended up on a short course of happy pills to try & manage it without success.

You are doing great, keep working @ it - ODAAT

Hi Dan just read ur diary and its inspired me to start again after my weekend binge (falling off the wagon again

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Great news attraction.
I'm glad you found something in it to help.

5th February Day 10 GF Today

Wow, I made double figures. Feels like a massive achievement especially how I felt yesterday morning. Thank you for posting to me yesterday samePhil, Lethe and ODAAT. More positive things to think about and look into to help my journey.

I missed chat on Friday night (didn't know hours were different on a friday) and I think that's why I felt low in the morning.

I decided to switch my attention into something positive. I got three pieces of furniture, cupboards etc yesterday free from local Facebook sites. I'm going to do them up / upcycle them and try and resell. I'll make a few quid but more importantly it keeps me busy.

Hope everyone has a good day and goes +1gf tonight. All the best.

Congratulations on double figures gf.
What a great idea doing the furniture up!!!
Keep up the good work!! x

Evening Dan

Congrats on double figures mate, thats a massive achievement.

Great idea on refocusing your attention on something productive, great way to regain the true value of money again, I am going to look into doing something similiar.

All the best

6th February Day 11 GF Today

Ok, so i have reached day 11. Saturday was tough, Sunday was easier. I've now got my little hobbie going, have a few pieces of furniture to restore, 1st one is nearly done. Might make a few quid from it, but more importantly on Sunday, everytime i had a thought or needed to escape i went in to my mancave and started to strip, sand and paint. I think it worked quite well.

I'm still stuck with horrid dreams, i've got an appointment with the doctors next week (can't get one any sooner) i need something i think to help me with the sleeping. This morning for instance my wife asked me for a cuddle and i snapped because of the lack of sleep and the dreams. I'm finding myself for at least an hour a night just sat at the edge of my bed. If i can just sort this out i would be in so much of a happier place.

Spoke to a few new people this weekend, some people whom have been GF for years and some who are new to the site. I'm glad some have read my diary and have been touched enough to leave nice comments, but more importantly been inspired to write their own and start their own healing process. I hate this addiction, to read of families breaking up and seperateing even if it's temporary is just so sad.

I need to continue this and prove to my wife she didn't make a mistake by sticking by my side through this but more importantly i need to prove it to my kids. Couldn't live without those boys.

Another day today, another day GF for me. I hope if your reading this you continue on your journey.

So i'm sat at my desk and a work colleague comes to me. (only my bosses know about my addiction)

They have just won £100 on a scratchcard they bought at lunch...... If only they knew,

It's put me on a downer, instant thoughts......