Dan's Journey

Hi Dan.

Nice to see you in chat. I have my purple trainers on today..Just thought I would let you know, smile it's Monday.

I read your diary, my heart broke for you, what a sad situation, but I feel really grateful that there are people like your boss and family and friends around to pick us up when we fall down. Your wife sounds like an absolute gem, just a thought maybe share with her that your having a lot of trouble sleeping and cuddles are welcome!! Women like to hear these things, just to reassure themselves that they are loved and wanted. Your journey has been intense, but I think the worst is behind you now. Move forward with purpose. What I would say about the debt is, you owe £57k to the bank, they can afford to wait for that £57k..they will have to have their money, but there is no point in you not sleeping at night beacause of it. Since I stopped throwing money at a machine, my sleep has improved and I have a lighter spring in my step.

Keep with the hobby, it sounds like something to get your teeth into. Put down that stick that your beating yourself with. When people win £100 on a scratch card, be happy for them, but also happy that it is not you that is getting sucked in. Stay positive and if you cannot do Day to Day, go hour by hour...I believe in you.

Take very good care of you, and chat soon.

Julie

Thanks Julie

Thats just the pick me up / keep up the backside i needed. Thank you

I bet those purple reebok's feel even more comfortable knowing you have earned them!

Too right they do, and not through anything but hard work..

We all need that sometimes, I have thoughts of what if I were to just......but just turns into I cannot stop...so I don't start. People genuinely don't realise the consequences of a gambling addiction. You know it sat here today. But look they's bring the positivity up a level, your going home to your wife and family. Am off out the door in a second, have a split shift and have to go to evening clinic. May see you in chat later, if I get home in good time to have dinner. Stay positive.....

Hi Dan

Gambling and gambling talk is all around. Hopefully as your gf time increases you will find it becomes more of a background noise and easily discounted. Just think through a theoretical win to the end. Would the outcome be any different to what it's always been? No. A CG can't win because anything that does come their way is just a short term loan from the bookies paid back in a matter of days if not hours and often with more of their own money on top as interest.

It's an inverted cart-before-the- horse logic that the addiction's telling you. The starting point is the wish to place a bet because of the mysterious whatever it is that gambling gives you. Dreams of allegedly life changing wins provide a perverse reason for doing what you want to do.

The result will be what it always is, this time won't be different and you won't want to stop.

Better to take the help that's out there to change your life. Things change if you make things change.

CW

Dan read my diary entry about the amount of shops/pubs/arcades there are on a street by me - shocking. However, you are doing well buddy and whatever is going on around you at work try and see it as "background noise" as Lethe said. In MY view you are not missing out on anything - as I said early days but you are doing great - it's a load of rubbish. My poison was horses - did I ever make any friends in the bookies? No. Did I genuinely have any fun? No. You are doing well - maybe post on my diary sometime as I know what a tough journey it can be to start with but with the right support and mentality you can do it day by day or whatever acronym people want to use. The other thing is decent people on this forum more "experienced" than me might offer you "tough love" but they mean the best. Best wishes, Phil.

7th February Day 12 GF Today

So, i slept, no dreams, no thoughts. Slept from circa 23:30 right through to 07:00. Happy Days, feel better for it and refreshed.

I snapped at my son last night, which caused an argument with my wife. I was at fault, i shouldn't have done but for the first time it didn't make me reach for my comfort blanket.

After what happened at work yesterday i took the decision to come clean to everyone at work about my addiction. I spoke to my boss and agreed to email people. I did this and received positive responses and support. This was hard to do but i'm glad i did it.

I've seen my colleague go from a few £1 scratchcards to a few £5 scratchcards a day and i can see the silly signs of what she says about positive thinking and that she's a money magnet etc etc

I have GA tonight and am looking forward to it, i feel i have dropped the wooden stick that i'm beating myself up with that Julie has commented above and feel positive.

Now i feel the ship is slowly turning, hopefuly by the end of the week not only will i be +14 days GF, but i would have sorted my mortgage out, sorted my plan with stepchange to sort my debt but more importantly I WILL BE HAPPIER

All the best everyone to another +GF day!

8th February Day 13 GF Today

Can't believe i am now on my 13th day, a full two weeks when i wake up tomorrow.

Good positive day yesterday, had my GA in the evening and got myself a sponsor.

Hopefully have a good conversation with my mortgage company and stepchange today and councilling in a little while too.

All the best everyone to another +GF day!

Great Dan - looks like things are moving in the right direction and you are taking positive steps every day. I'm enjoying reading about your progress. Well done mate. Best wishes, Phil.

Hi dan
I've just read your diary....and what an open and honest one it is...
Massive respect to you for the last two weeks...those early days are defo the hardest.....every emotion under the sun will rear it's head ....every ounce of your addiction will try to claw you back...you've fought it...and you can keep fighting it hourly...daily....what ever works for you...
So happy to read your already feeling more posative...each day may well be different....but each day you dont gamble ....will defo be better..keep fighting...and good luck x

Thanks Phil, Loxxie

My new expression which i'm sure is annoying people. Baby steps, my councillor today agreed and said yes, your learning to walk again without gambling holding your hand. Never a truer word said i think!

Baby steps is fine - I can't see anything wrong with that!

ok, so councilling done. Went well as can be expected, emotional but ok.

Mortgage company spoken to, this is tentitive, agreement is in principal to renew without any extra borrowing which is what i wanted, however i have to provide statements, that may create a problem.

Spoke to stepchange about IVA, i have to be gamble free with statements to prove for at least six months. I am only on day 13 now. Also due to the debts being new or new ish i can't be considered for 12 months. So have to sort something else out for 12 months.

Really not a productive day.

However, i am still smiling, not letting this defeat me!

Most defiantly a productive day Dan. ....you made the calls....ok..you may not have got the answers you hoped for....but you rang them....so it's a posative...
I managed to re schedule arrears on different things myself....told companies the truth....and what I could realistically afford....and after a while they all agreed...stand strong....

Loxxie wrote: Most defiantly a productive day Dan. ....you made the calls....ok..you may not have got the answers you hoped for....but you rang them....so it's a posative...
I managed to re schedule arrears on different things myself....told companies the truth....and what I could realistically afford....and after a while they all agreed...stand strong....

Thanks loxxie