Day 3 and counting.....

Hi Phil

I have been reading your diary and I think you've made a positive start. I think that the people around you need a few weeks before they'll begin to respond to the changes you've made and believe it is for the long-term. It won't be long before you'll be able to put the past firmly behind you and things will start to really improve in your personal life. I'm not married (only 25) but I have a girlfriend and she makes me feel like I am! If you'd told me three months ago that she'd trust me and not check my jacket pockets for betting pens and slips or check the balance of my current account hourly after work I'd have found it difficult to believe. But it does happen, and when it does it feels great.

Good luck mate, Myles

Thanks guys.....

Day 13 and i feel good again, have had a few emotional moments which makes me think and brings on slight urges, but not having any means to do anything helps. Sure if i really wanted to I would but I don't and appreciate what I am trying to do.

Have seen JamesP often use the phrase, see yourself in 10 years time, I have my targets....

have full trust of my wife and kids who really look up to their father

be debt free

be a house owner again

and probably most importantly be on day 3650 of my diary!!!

I think it is good to have goals and envisage your future but another useful tool may be to envisage yourself if you were to carry on gambling.....

no family and friends to speak of, they have all disowned you because of constant lies

multiples of debt to what I have now with very little hope of escape

in my case probably a severe alcohol or drug addiction

contemplating some form of self harm possibly fatal

Now for me that is food for thought, a gambler doesn't really know how much trouble they are in and certainly not aware of reaching rock bottom, there is a way out for me now, and I am choosing this option, gambling will only lead me to more destruction, it really is a simple choice.

sorry for waffling and I hope that today treats you all well!!

Phil

Hi Phil. Thank you for the comment on kels thread. I'm glad in a way that reading posts from friends/family help you even if its not nice reading.

I tried painting the worst imaginable picture for my ex. If he continued on this destructive path. Homeless jobless friendless familyless living in a street unclean unwashed and relying on alcohol to numb the pain. I'm sure he thought I was exaggerating. The sad fact is gambling excluded you from society. Firstly by the gambler isolating himself to hide the addiction then society excludes the gambler. No one trusts a liar.

I think my picture fell on deaf ears as the gambling didn't stop. He is now in a worse financial position that he ever has been in 20 years of addiction. And my picture is coming to life. He has lost his wife his children his home. He has no friends and at real risk from losing his job. All that's left to put on the scene is a bottle and a street.

The picture is not complete therefore it is possible to change the scene. But to do this he has to take the challenge. He has to decide what is going to replace it. That's every gamblers choice.

Keep going Phil and paint your own future x

Hi Phil

It was good to meet in chat before. Well done for starting your diary- it sounds like you've set yourself some achievable goals.

Well done on the progress to date- the effort really is worth it 🙂

Take care

Irene

x

thanks Irene, day 14, I am really feeling the benefits, talking on the chat with guys like yourself is making the process so easier and thankyou again for your support....hopefully will catch up on the chat with you over the next couple of days

Phil

x

Keep going Phil, keep the faith and enjoy the fruits of a gamble free life.

Hey Phil

well done for DAY 14- BRILLIANT!!!!

keep it up, its so worth it. Life is so much better without this awful gambling.

take care

Stu

Phil, great to see your are still one day ahead of me, hope your are still one day ahead when you write your post on day 3650. We can and will beat this all the best for the weekend stay safe.

haha Chris, you are doing great too.....

So day 15 for me, and noticing some real good changes, i can honestly say that for the first time in about 3 years I am actually looking forward to the weekend ahead. In the past, I would have dreaded being near my wife, just so I could avoid any sort of communication due to I guess, immense guilt inside. I think I purposely caused rows to make up some excuses and of course whilst I was around my family I couldn't gamble!!

Anyway so instead of dreading coming up to the weekend, I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with my family, right now my 5 year old boy is drawing a word search for me, I haven't had this sort of closeness with my kids in such a long time and it does feel so so good.

anyway folks have a great day, stay strong and enjoy the weekend, hope the weather makes it a really good one.

Phil

brilliant entry in your diary today Phil.

have a great day with your family

take care

Stu

Thankyou Phil, your post means more than you realise.

Your family will reap the good 'Phil'. Keep doing it for your self.

Keep on striving and have a superb day.

I salute you for your honest thoughts on your diary, good on you and now pondering in something you said in a earlier post. Thankyou!!

Honor

Earnest

Hi Phil

Hope you have had a good weekend with your family. You will hope to see the trust come back gradually and you can start to see what's really important. I am delighted to hear how positive things are for you at this point. Keep working hard at it and stay strong.

Myles

day 16 and what a big one....met the in laws for the first time since confessing to my wife, have been absolutely dreading seeing or speaking to the mother in law, absolutely brickin it, but these are all parts of the recovery process. got into their house and after literally 2 mins i got her on her own, said sorry, I then got a mini lecture, understandable as she has lent us a lot of money, but i said what I was doing and what i will continue to do, really cranks up the pressure, but at the same time an added incentive. Aside from that weekend has been good, everybody in the house seems to be shouting less (it was bedlam at times in past few months), still shouting but there is an improvement, the whole process is a very long one!!

hope you have all had good weekends and appreciate you kind words Myles.

Phil

Hey well done Phil

Wow that wasn't an easy conversation with the mother in law! WELL DONE. Hope that you have a brilliant gamble free week.

take care

Stu

thx Stu, have a great week yourself!!

so Day 17, feels much longer but I am not going to knock the progress, I should be proud and grateful for the support I have been given and indeed I am.

I read quite a few stories of people having relapses, I am not here to judge as in the past that has been me, but at the same time I need to stay alert to moments of weakness.

I remember in my most recent attempt before this one, I started the process in very small size, only 5s, 10s, thinking I had control and low and behold a year later I am blowing thousands. For me this time round zero tolerance, and I must maintain that regardless of how I consider my progress to be going. As I said in an earlier post, I want to make day 3650!!

Thank you to everyone on here for all the support they have given me so far, I am sure you can appreciate yourselves how priceless it is. Take care for today and have a great week.

Phil