Day 3 and counting.....

Phil.

Fella the day we stop, arrest our addiction things for us improve instantly, its like lancing a boil.

For our other halves there's a million questions.

To which the answers are hard for them to swallow.

My advice share recovery.

I have shared this journey from day one, my wife shares my diary. Sometimes she finds answers and sometimes questions.

But above all she is recovering too. We can help them too.

Never give up giving up.

It will get better, it will become enjoyable.

Just keep working at it.

One day at a time.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

We can't change the past but can decide upon our future.

Thanks Shelly and Duncs always nice to get kind messages of encouragement from respected members of the forum. Been tough again today, am sure it is a dealyed outburst of sorts, and have tried to bite my tongue, although it is so tough.

Tried to get some participation in the process from my wife, but she has absolutely no interest, she just doesn't want any involvement with gambling, albeit only on a recovery process. That may change in time, but we seem to be on a more even keel today which makes me feel a little better.

Better news is that now day 23, day at a time, and still plenty of positives. Take care all.

Phil

Phil.

glad to see your choppy seas have today returned to calmer waters.

as for biting your tongue, remember you to have a voice, don't bottle stuff up, keep off loading the sh#t fella.

our addiction loves to feed on our emotions.

Today i leave you with this.

If we commit but half the time to recovery that we gifted to feeding our addiction the results for those efforts will be outstanding.

keep up the good work my friend.

be proud of what you are doing. recovery for me is to be enjoyed, lord knows we had enough of misery through our addiction.

one day at a time bettering our tomorrow.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Shelly and Duncs always nice to get kind messages of encouragement from respected members of the forum. Been tough again today, am sure it is a dealyed outburst of sorts, and have tried to bite my tongue, although it is so tough.

Tried to get some participation in the process from my wife, but she has absolutely no interest, she just doesn't want any involvement with gambling, albeit only on a recovery process. That may change in time, but we seem to be on a more even keel today which makes me feel a little better.

Better news is that now day 23, day at a time, and still plenty of positives. Take care all.

Phil

Hey Phil

Keep going and well done so far in remaining gambld free. Im sure the longer you abstain, relationships will improve in timr. Patience is a virtue as the saying goes!!

Enjoy the rest if Fathers Day. Catch up on chat.

Lady Feb.

Hey Phil

great to see you on chat- I had a phone call- sorry I left half way thru. Hope things are a bit better at home for you this week. Am sure we will catch up on chat. Take care my friend

Stu

Thankyou all for the support again guys. Duncs, like the time spent analogy, and it makes perfect sense, will continue to work at it and maybe over time my wife will want to see what I am doing.

So aside from the onslaught from the wife, another weekend gamble free, I do love sport and keep an eye on most things, so had kept an eye on the cricket and golf, having said that I didn't even look at any odds. This week will be tough, with Royal Ascot one, traditionally an active week for myself, I will watch as I still enjoy the sport but will take no financial interest. Having a bet isn't a problem for most people but it is for me, i realise that now, so that makes it all a little easier.

Take care all and have a great week.

Phil

Day 25.....still a cold atmosphere with my wife, she is down at the moment and releasing a lot of anger, sure it will pass in time, just have to be patient and keep up the good work.

My head feels so much clearer and making more plans to sort things out, getting there, money issues still daunting but cannot do a whole lot more than I am doing, another thing which will just take a little time.

Good luck everyone and have a good day.

Phil

Well done Phil, keep up the good work.

At least your wife is releasing her anger, my husband bottles it all up which is sometimes difficult to deal with but its our fault so we deal with it. I think its harder dealing with the guilt of what you have done than trying to fight the urges sometimes. Hopefully things will get better one day. I dealt with stepchange to help with my debts, they have been great, we went into an IVA and it has taken away a lot of stress, i had debt collectors ringing my work etc it was awful. Take one step at a time.

Lisa 🙂

Hi Phil,

Not down to me to give you advice with your wife(i never had husband or boyfriend while i was gambling) but i'm sure things will get better, just let her to let the steam out, as they say there is always sunshine after the storm.

Keep up your good work and stay strong!

Sandra

I apologise in advance for my ramblings, but my wife still not making life easy for me at the moment.....but one thing that I am learning, is how to cope with it so much better. I can only do my best, which I am doing, and I am sure things will improve.

On a more positive note, yet another day, watched the racing yesterday as i do still love the sport, but no real urges to gamble on them. I would normally check racing results and bet on a daily basis, and I have not even looked for most of the last 2 weeks.

good luck all and keep up the great work

Phil

Thanks for your comments on my diary Phil.

I am sure it will get easier with your wife, i blame myself all the time and tell my husband that he is blaming me, all he replies with is "no, your are the one blaming yourself, not me" so maybe sometimes it is just that we cant shift the guilt i am not sure. I would make a cr** counseller. Keep trying, listen to what she is saying to you, explain how you feel. I cant really say all the time to my hubby, hes not very good with emotions but sometime when i have a drink (which is not good but not that often) i let rip and it all comes out i do feel better for it and he sometimes opens up, at the end of the day we dont know whats going on in their heads and what they are feeling unless they tell us. Sorry i am rambling now.

Take Care and stay strong just keep trying your best 🙂

lisa

Hi Phil

Great progress!

I'm sure things will settle with your wife- as you become more confident in your progress, so will she I'm certain. Change is a strange phenomenon(even positive change), for those around us to accept and adapt to.

Please never apologise for "rambling" on your diary- that's what it's for 🙂

Take care

Irene

x

Hey Phil,

Thanx for your comment on my diary. I obviously couldn't wait to get to work haha.

The reality is, me personally start deeply appreciate those moments when i feel happy or share a smile. ( don't happen that often recently trust me) but as i said before, if you feel happier - everyone around you feels the same, quite catching:-)

I hope things is getting better with your wife, and im sure you will pass all the rising obstickles in your way and find yourself at other brighter and happier end.

Wish you all the best and keep going, you are doing amazingly well. Just keep believing!

Take care

Sandra

Thx Sandra.....

My wife still in such a bad way, just think that as we have no money til payday she is taking all the anger out on me, she emphasised last nigh that how could she believe me again, I said this time was different but she doesn't believe still, all I can do is prove over time, but it is clear that another lapse would be fatal for our marriage.

Again, on a more positive note, day 27 now, no real urges, a friend called me and asked for some Ascot tips, I gave him some picks and all losers.....haha! This is the reason i gave up, and know that even if i had picked winners I would still not be tempted as know I would still lose bigtime in the long run. As I have said before I love sport and racing and don't think it is reasonable to stop watching, that is not the answer.

anyway, as always, good luck for the day.

Phil