Day 3 and counting.....

Morning all,

well the weekend had promise, but in all fairness delivered some curveballs. My wife, I do think is in the process of having a nervous breakdown, and it is hard to watch. She seems much better today, but anything can cause a bit of mayhem, and it has been difficult to keep on track with emotions.

Aside from that, things continue to look up, so plenty to still focus on, day 31 now so very happy with myself.

have a great week all

Phil

Well done Phil. Keep going.

The Lady.

Hi Phil,

Thanks for you kind words on my diary. I think the urges to get a little less as time goes on but still have to be on guard at all times.

Well done on getting over 30 days without betting. It is so hard to break a trend that almost becomes a daily routine so well done.

Keep up the hard work and hope things with your wife gets better.

Keep strong,

Jimmboo

Not too much to report today, no bets which is the most important obviously! Attempting to get the debt plan up and running today, and only 3 days till payday which should make my wife feel a little better.

take care and have a good day everyone

Phil

hey Phil

sorry to hear that you wife is not doing well. Well done for staying gamble free, I'm sure your wife's health will improve with time- particularly when she sees that you are staying gamble free.

Stu

Morning Phil,

You are bright and early, for me is just about bed time haha:-) Thank you for encouraging words, all of you guys are great support.

Take care and stay strong too, there is no 1 in a team:-) Have a good day Phil.

Sandra

Hi Phil,

Good to here that you are tackling your debts head on. Hopefully a debt plan will relieve some financial worries so you can focus on keeping gamble free.

Take care

Jimbooo

thanks Jimbo.....

didnt come on my diary yesterday as have been quite busy at work. Still no bet so Day 33 I think, feels good. Still being hassled by lenders but StepChange will hopefully being dealing with that very soon. Asides from that my wife seems in better spirits so that is a big plus.

Good luck for the rest of the day.

Phil

Well done Phil you are doing great.

I did my IVA with stepchange they were good, i had lenders ringing me all the time at home, mobile and work, just didn't answer the phone but it was really awkward at work, luckily my boss was aware of everything. It did create lots of stress so when my iva was approved it was a great relief, no more phone calls. So hopefully they will get the ball rolling for you soon.

Glad your wife is feeling a little better.

Take Care Lisa 🙂

Hi Phil,

I'm very pleased you doing so well, and even more happy, your wife is feeling better:)

I hope you having a good day today, and don't forget it's another step forward, we will get there and time will heal everything..

Take care and keep striding forwards!

Sandra

end of evening rant alert, stand clear!

not happy

when i quit gambling foolishly promised i would give up booze completely, so i went to pub today with a close work friend, he is going through a divorce, and was down, but in truth a convenient excuse for me to have a few. Got home and the s*i* hits the fan!!

i understand all of her fears and anger, but the thing that really winds me up is the fact that this recovery process is so bloody hard, she doesn't understand, but the worst of it is that she doesn't want to understand, doesn't want to talk to me about it, it is all my problem. It is but it isn't, it is so hard, and i need to take the pressures of everything off now and then. I know I should have maybe done differently, and I will try to going forward. I also need to learn to live with the fact that she doesn't want to be part of my recovery process, no matter how unjust i feel that is, just gotta deal with it.

She as good as said I should leave, and with that for a very small moment in time, I felt good, because I could go and gamble, a bad thought and not what I want.

I will not give in and will remain strong, sorry for my rant and I hope everyone else has had a good day, I guess the big plus out of all this is STILL NO BETS, whooohooo!!

take care and stay strong all

Phil

Hang in there Phil. If you continue to remain gamble free, the longer you are and the more your wife sees the benefits of this, I'm sure her guard will come down. It will take time.

We all have lots in common on here, one thing of which is having to be more patient. As the saying goes "patience is a virtue".

Stay strong Phil and be patient - the rest will follow.

Lady Feb.

Hi Phil,

Sorry for late comment, but can't get to sleep and i happend to think about your worries. You see, my sister is very close to leaving her husband, all for other reasons( worse than gambling) and i can see how painful it is for her to actually go for it. I don't think she will make a step, and i'm sure he wont change.

The only diference here is - you are changing!and you are trying to do your best to put everything right. It is hard and we have to carry it with us everyday, and i'm sure you understand that it's not easy for your wife either. All you can do, just hang in there, keep going,stay strong and positive. Prove to her you are diferent person and she can trust you. Why don't you take her out? Don't have to be anything fancy, nice walk in a park? Cinema? One of them old good days relaxing and chatting away..

I wish you all the best my friend, and just take step at the time:-)

Sandra (P.s. sorry for long story, it's just my honest opinion)

Hi Phil

It is sometimes hard for us to think of others and not just ourselves, gambling makes you selfish but we do have to step aside and try to look at it from her point of view but then to balance it try to explain that you are trying your best and that's all you can do. I wanted to try to stop smoking but my counselor did say to me just one thing at a time, concentrate on the gambling first.

Hopefully she will understand how hard it is for you if you talk about to her.

Hope everything picks up for you both, you need to be united to beat this. Good luck

Take Care

Lisa 🙂

Hi Phil

Thanks for the post.

You weren't over the top, you were just expressing how you felt, hopefully things have calmed down a little.

Lisa 🙂