Day 5 new diary

Thats amazing progress, well done

@deborah270882  thank you very much! Hope all is going great for you, we can do this!

1 MONTH GAMBLE FREE 😀 

SO today April 11th I have officially lasted 1 month without a bet. 

1 month ago today everything fell apart. After a few years break from gambling I got sucked back in and spent practically all of 2024 and the beginning of 2025 betting on football.

I lost a few grand then won it all back which was the worst thing that could have happened. I believed no matter what happened I could always win it back. After a winning run at Christmas rather than walk away I got greedy. I put on some large stake bets on favourites and of course they lost. 

From Christmas until March 11th I proceeded to lose £5,415. I worked so hard to save that money then I basically threw it all away without thought. I was hooked. My life was out of control. I could not think or focus on anything I was only thinking about my next bet.

That day I decided enough was enough. I could not go on like this. I still had savings but the way I was going soon they would all be gone.

I cannot lie the first 2-3 weeks it hurt like hell. I could not accept my loss. I was in constant grief. I couldn't believe what I had done.

Things now are a bit better. My loss still hurts but the pain is slowly subsiding. I have started to enjoy life again.

When I was sucked into betting I was like a zombie. Moments that should be precious with family and friends I was not present. I was there physically but not therr mentally all I could think about was betting and my mounting losses and how I could win it all back.

Now I am enjoying each day as it comes. I will never forget my loss but the pain is not as raw. I have enjoyed moments with my family and the simpler things in life that maybe I was not appreciating at all.

I have a job opportunity starting in the beginning of May which I will keep me busy all of summer and will mean I will recuperate the money I lost and can start saving again. 

Onwards I go, proud to reach 1 month but cannot get complacent. A long way to go yet.

Best of luck to everyone battling this horrible addiction.

DAY 69 GAMBLE FREE

I have not been writing here as much as at the beginning but I have been reading others stories and keeping my eye on things.

Proud to say I have now passed 2 months gamble free and not had any temptations.

If I am being totally honest these last few weeks have been quite hard mentally. I have had a couple big expenses and also needed to provide proof of savings when trying to rent a new flat. I am now feeling the consequences of my bad decisions at the start of the year.

I lost £5400 of my savings that I worked hard for. While I did not blow everything it was a large ammount for me and this whole year would have been a lot more comfortable if I wasn't so stupid.

I will most likely feel the consequences for the rest year. I must remain positive though and use this as a reminder of how bad things could get if I kept gambling.

On a positive note I have a job opportunity which will keep me busy and focused all summer and shoule allow me to recoup what I lost. Still just can't shake the feeling of how much easier life could be right now if I didn't lose so much.