Day 17 and fortunately somebody else made a bigger mistake than me last night in work which took the spotlight off me. So I didn't get the rollocking that I was expecting. Been a pretty average day and I'm glad to get home from work. Most importantly no bets and no dark thoughts. Onwards and upwards!
Day 18 and I am just finishing work, payday is tomorrow and I have my payslip so I know that after all my outgoings it's going to be another tight month. This thing has come into my head tonight, have a bet tomorrow as if I win a couple of hundred quid it will make the month easier and mean an extra couple of nights out. I need to defeat this urge, I could win a couple of hundred quid but I could never walk, I would be back and I would lose it all and a lot more. These tight months are hurting me but it's the only way forward. If I can stay strong there will come a time when my debts are paid and I will have enough money to have a much better lifestyle. I need to get these thoughts out of my mind!
I will get through tomorrow without a bet. The only way to fix myself and reach the light at the end of the tunnel is to beat the urges and not gamble. It's been a bad night trying to deal with the urges, I wish they weren't there, but I can beat it.
Day 21 and I am feeling very delicate after yesterday. I have managed to survive without a bet although I was very tempted on Friday and Saturday. I have got to fight hard against the urges. Fortunately my money is safely in my mums control.
Keep going Phil - you're a fighter and you will beat this thing. You must have made the month mark by now - well done!
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