I’m so tired of this disease.

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Cal.J
(@cal-j)
Posts: 43
Topic starter
 

It’s been about 10 years now since this started to become a problem that has developed like a cancer. I’ve done every cliche you can imagine as a gambler that’s out of control. Lied, Sold belongings, cut up cards in guilt in tears, always putting something new in place after a substantial loss in a bid to regain control. No matter what i put in place from blocking software to MOSES, banking blocks to exclusions to just using Apple Pay with no physical cards, even smashing my devices up with a hammer once after losing everything in the palm of my hands on this device. It always re appears. Time passes I forget about the harms and the tentacles begin to re wrap themselves around me again. Losing money you 100% have no business losing is rough.  This time it’s crypto casinos. I’m at my wits end with it. I wish I could have some form of therapy that just erases this urge/disease from my brain and I can wake up without any of this in my life.  I hate that I’m a gambler I hate that I can’t control it. That I believe in the moment all my worries could vanish with one big win and then money is no longer an issue. But money is always an issue. There’s so much more to my story that I won’t bore anyone finding themselves reading this with. Thanks for taking the time though I’m off to bed. 

 
Posted : 4th February 2025 9:35 pm
st3v3n
(@st3v3n)
Posts: 88
 

Hi Cal. I'm different from most complusive gamblers, I'm blessed with great will power, but when I've gambled, I turn crazy and don't give a f*** and let it take its course until I NEED to stop. Just wanted to ask, what are you good at, what are your ambitions, what do you care about, what do you do or can you do that makes you or others who care for you proud?

 
Posted : 5th February 2025 12:49 am
(@ypqtfao731)
Posts: 30
 

The answer is so simple,its called one word STOP.Your compulksive urges can be turned into good things Like compulsive walking , compulsive behaviour can be used in other ways rather than gambling which is self harm.The answer is with you gamcare are great support but the Buck stops with you.Best wishes

 
Posted : 5th February 2025 12:45 pm
(@pep1952)
Posts: 176
 

Hi Cal. Whilst i’m sure the person above me meant well i don’t think it’s as easy as telling yourself to stop otherwise gambling will never be a problem. My husband is very smart, highly educated with a really good job but he is a compulsive gambler. He lost a lot of money during his years of heavy use and whilst he knew he should have stopped, he didn’t.  He’s a compulsive gambler.
He turned his life around which started with him confessing everything to me. He is 5 years gamble free now. He owes his life to GA. Have you tried attending the meetings? They have lots online. We also put safety measures such as he transfers his salary to me on the day he gets it apart from having a monthly allowance. With his consent I also have access to his bank account and credit report. He also switched bank to Monzo and enabled gambling block plus requested all possible exlusions (gamstop etc). He also admitted that access to money is the main thing, so if he gets anything extra other than his salary it’s become his automatic action to transfer everything to me and I put them on our savings acct which is under my name only. Are you able to find someone who you can be accountable to? I hope you’re not dealing with this on your own. It is possible, you can beat this addiction but it takes a lot of hard work and commitment. However it’s all worth it, a gamble free life is so worth it! 

This post was modified 6 days ago by Pep1952
 
Posted : 7th February 2025 7:37 pm
 aldo
(@m1fwpk4rvl)
Posts: 1
 

I don’t think people understand if they don’t suffer with addiction themselves, the dopamine hit is what your brain craves, like when your hungry your body tells you to eat, your brain is doing the same, it gets used to the dopamine spike, wether it be from gambling or something else, recovery is possible with the right support over the long term, but it does take time, our brains take months to recover into a healthy dopamine pattern, it doesn’t happen overnight, just take a day at a time, don’t look any further or it will be overwhelming, talk to people and get the help you need wether it’s GA or NA or AA addiction is addiction regardless of substance, you have done so well to recognise that you have a problem so be kind to yourself and you’ll get there. 

 
Posted : 7th February 2025 10:42 pm

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