day one of trying too make things right

The problem I have is now our moneys changed one last old bill has caught up with us and increase in rent will literly leave us with pennys every week so all my partner is doing is having a go at me for that too am an at all time low with no where too turn which makes me want too gamble escape into the exilerating world so today is hard but I will succeed if it kills me

So I told my partner and his reply was I make him sick and off out the door .....all time low

tappyt1980,

Just seen your post is unanswered & I am gutted I didn't see it earlier! Admitting this to your partner must have been horrendous but you have done it & that takes guts!

Now you just have to find a way of using that strength to carry out your intentions not to gamble.

I'm not going to lie & say it will be easy, if it were, none of us would be here but I am going to say there are some truely inspirational stories on here as well as great advice! Get reading & put your strength to good use!

Good luck!

Hi I am sorry to hear about your partner fortunately I have a partner which I lost but gained back thru me seeking and taking and admitting I needed help in this addiction and she is with me all the way but she wouldnt of been had I not sought help and I know if I slipped again that would be it but I am doing it for myself 1st and foremost otherwise gambling will take my life quite literally and life is far better living without gambling in it...please stay strong keep working at it and I am sure you will get thru it all good luck x

Thanks guys for the messages I rang my dad he came round and I addmitted all and too a close friend too my partners reaction has hit me hard but nothing more than I deserve I guess, if im gonna be able too stick to this I need support and my dad and friend are being brilliant not judging me but offering support and having people finally too talk too attually makes the burden a little lighter and me more determind, I only attually realised I had too say it out loud after reading the storys on here so now Im determind too start putting the pieces of this mess back together
thanks for the support it is very touching x

Itching to play a little right now just too stop my head from whirling n escape but the start is usually I pick up my phone n go straight too the game instead im typing on here gotta stay strong right!! I can do this I have got to do this

Hi,

Don't give in to the thoughts, what helps me when the urge takes hold is to come on here and read and read and read. There are stories from so many people, different backgrounds, different ages, different circumstances...the end point is always the same we have a gambling addiction that has broken us.

Now is the time to take charge of our addiction. Only we can do it. Do whatever you have to do to stop thinking about it. Read a book, watch tv, hell even do that pile of ironing that never gets done. Just do something, anything. You're not alone and you can do this if you really want to.

Take care and stay strong my friend
Jess x

Thanks jess for the message on here is helping alot day 3 early days but I woke this morning feeling a little more determind too sort the mess I call my life out, I have too stay strong for my three children so a little perspective today the consequences of my actions im going to have too deal with so one day at a time first too sort out my finances, first thing tomorrow, im also going to make an appointment with my doctor I play when im down maybe I need help with that so im going too see whats available then thirdly im going too try too make a mends for the deciet and lies if my partner will let me try that is! Acceptance im a gambler and I lost ,lost sight of who I fought too be and acceptance that even when u think uve beat it it stays with you forever and is so easy too fall back down that slope so no more gambling at all, people on here are inspiring and the support frame is fantastic thank u all and good luck too u all too xxx

Hi Tappy,

Your plan seems like a good one. Take any and all help available and take things one day at a time.

Accepting you're a compulsive gambler is a huge hurdle to get over. I came here after yet another big loss, feeling sick and down and depressed. I know now, in the back of my mind I wasn't really planning on stopping, just regaining some kind of control again.

Then (after losing £200 within about 10 minutes) after 11 days of being gamble free I realised it's only myself I'm kidding. I will never be able to control it, the only way I can be in control is to stop and never do it again ever. I've accepted it now and it's actually making things a bit easier. I still think about gambling, some days worse than others, but instead now I come here and read. It opens my eyes again to the damage gambling can do - money is what we focus on, yet the real damage it causes is so much worse and harder to repair. It makes me feel positive that other people have made it through another day and gives me that added push to make it to the end of the day too.

I also post in my diary daily now, even if it's just a quick check in, it's my own record of the ups and downs of my recovery. I find it helps to write things down rather than have so many conflicting thoughts swirling round in my head. It also passes a huge chunk of time that I'd previously have spent gambling.

There are some amazing people here. Different stories, different approaches, different stages of recovery, yet all with one goal - to stop gambling forever. Here you'll find it can be done, and everyone is rooting for you.

Stay strong
Jess x

So I slipped yesterday did win 600 off 20 and withdrew but back too day one if i didnt need the money and id lost id probably be more upset with myself but im attually thankful I won its alot of money towards my debt been the doctors and been put back on antidepressants and refered too councelling as thats the main reason I go too play, need too make sure thats the last time now my partners given me a chance and I cant let them all down again feeling both high n low at the moment very anxcious and jittery