Argh! I wish I would've started my recovery diary last week. At least I would have been able to report a few days of being gamble free. I blew it yesterday...went to the casino and spent $1300 I don't have... just increasing my already massive debt. Trying to stay positive, but finding it hard. The problem is one slot machine with a growing jackpot. Months ago, the machine beside it had a large jackpot that I was convinced was going to be mine. I even had a "vibe" about the exact day the jackpot was going to pay, and wrote it on my calendar. I went there the day I predicted the big win and played that machine for about four hours when I just couldn't sit anymore. I told myself how stupid I was and decided to give up the machine. Then a guy sat down at "my" machine and within five minutes, got the jackpot! I felt like I was going to be sick. I've seen that guy in the casino on several occasions and am sure he's given most, if not all, of it back. Now it's the machine beside that one that I'm convinced is going to pay me...yet... I didn't even play it yesterday. I played a different one... probably mostly because it's a higher stakes machine and I figure I'll win some and then have more to play my more boring, but huge jackpot machine. I have really cut back on the amounts and number of times I go gambling, but I know I'm still kidding myself. Somehow, I've convinced myself that I'm going to win that big jackpot, pay off my debt and never gamble again. Surely, hundreds of other people on this board have made similar "deals" with themselves. At any rate, right now, I know I will keep playing until that jackpot goes. When it does, and no matter who wins it, I swear I will never walk into a casino again. (And I really hope that happens soon). I also signed in under an alias when I first introduced myself in the new members section, but my real name is Carolyn.
Hi there,
If a jackpot was that easy to predict, then we would all be in there filling our boots at the casinos expense.
Alas it never has and never will work like that.
The most well known video slot in the world Thunderstruck a 9 line video slot hits the jackpot on average once every 15 million spins, and that is not even a progressive. Slots are high variance, so the longer you play the more you will lose.
Forget chasing jackpots it really is not going to happen, if you are serious about quitting then stop now because after this jackpot has been won, there will be another, then another to chase. It is never ending. So best to draw a line right now and get some recovery going.
Mike
Thanks, Mike. I know you're right and how ridiculous this all sounds. At least I know it intellectually. I still need to internalize it, though. I decided to write what I am really thinking in hopes that some sense will kick in...
Have been reading around on the site and noticed a few people that have handed over their finances to friends/family. I thought that was discouraged? I thought that is referred to as "enabling"? I'm glad it seems to work for some and have considered it with a trusted friend. I'm a bit confused as to whether or not I should.
Hello Carolyn
It takes courage to be here so welcome. We are all in the same boat! I hope you don't chase that jackpot but choose now as the time to say enough is ENOUGH! Anytime you feel an urge to gamble write it in your diary or phone somebody. On the matter of giving your cards to somebody else that is up to you. Many people find it helps because if you have no access to money you cannot gamble.
Everybody is here for you and I wish goodluck. Stay strong.
JLx
Hi Carolyn,
In the beginning, it is very hard just to get through the day without gambling...I had to take whatever measures were necessary to make sure that didn't happen...for me, that meant I couldnt carry more than $10 on my person...no credit cards.it's not necessary for me to do that anymore..but it was for a while..
peg
xoxox
I guess I should have listened. Went again to win my big jackpot and now feel like s**t having lost another $680. Friday nights seem to be a problem for me. I used to enjoy Friday evenings with my soon to be ex, but now am alone and hate being alone. Have to find a way....
Hiya
I too am fairly new on here and I too gambled and lost last night. So today (Saturday) is day one for me again. Hope we can both stop this time and get our lives back.
Good luck and keep trying.
Em
x
Hiya, I think it must be the way all gamblers think, and the unsuccessful ones (majority on here!!)have all sorts of "lucky" vibes and I think we have all played machines only to leave them in frustration & someone else come on, pop a coin in and win all the money we have just lost!!!
So you are not alone.
But what is hard about giving up gambling is adjusting to leaving those losses behind. I will admit I have pangs where I think if only I could win it back I would stop once my debts were paid.
But several times in the past I did win quite a lot of money but it only ever stayed in my bank account for a few days before I convinced myself I would only spend a little, and as I was on a lucky streak I would be able to be sensible. You guessed, lost it all and more. So please dont get complacent about thinking you would give up even if you had that big win. A gambler is always a gambler, its just we need to choose not to gamble anymore.Good luck and stay positive and strong. Joy x
You've hit the nail on the head and I know you're right. It's a common, but twisted, way of thinking for a gambler. We know this intellectually. Why can't the rational thoughts override the emotional? Why do I/we convince ourselves that it'll be different? Why do I think I can control myself, when clearly, I can't. I'm not a stupid person yet I berate myself over and over for this stupid behaviour.
Then a guy sat down at "my" machine and within five minutes, got the jackpot! I felt like I was going to be sick. I've seen that guy in the casino on several occasions and am sure he's given most, if not all, of it back.
This is EXACTLY why we cannot win...we CANNOT STOP...so Carla, if you HAD won that jackpot...your post here might have been delayed by a few days or weeks...but it would have also said AND I WON THAT HUGE JACKPOT AND HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT!!!
I know that even if I 'hit' I cannot win because if I play, I cannot stop.
xoxoxoxo
Thanks, Peg. I will try to remember that and keep telling myself that. No sense trying for that jackpot... I'd just give it back anyway!
Hi... Does anyone have any good books to recommend that deal with gambling addiction or just addiction in general?
Hi Carla, I read this book last year and it has helped me enormously. Overcoming Compulsive Gambling by Alex Blaszczynski, I wish you well. In the book it teaches you CBT and other strategies to overcome your compulsive behaviour, God Bless John x
Thank you, John. I don't know what CBT is but I'll find out, as I've ordered the book.
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