dazed one

Hey girl hope your day is going well and got a question for ya. The guy i work with says your $50 bills in Canada are scratch and sniff with a maple leaf that when scratching the maple leaf it smells like maple syrup. LOL any truth to that?

Thanks for the support, Soul. You make me laugh.... no, our 100's don't smell like maple syrup, but I have heard that rumour before.

Well, I blew it, although not as bad as usual. This time, I managed to come to my senses and hauled my a**e out of the casino before too much damage was done. I suppose one could look at that as a teeny bit of progress as I normally would have kept going and gotten sucked right into the madness. Somehow have managed to get a muscle spasm in my back and it hurts! Maybe I made a wrong move when hauling a bunch of stuff yesterday.... stocked up on beer, groceries and bought flowers but then it started raining so I didn't get my lawn cut or anything more planted. Busy day ahead. Feel good that I have enough money to live on this month (barring some unforeseen emergency arising). Looking forward to having people over next weekend as it's been too long since I've entertained. Hope everyone has a good and gamble free week.

LOL yeah didnt think them bills would really smell like syrup but had to ask out of curiosity.

Well hey glad ya got out before the damage got to bad. Cause yeah them days are long to the next pay day.

Hope weather turns around there and ya can get them flowers planted. Suppose to rain here too but that grill will be fired up despite it. LOL

Hope your day is good to ya.

Hey Carla,

Chin up girl, don't start beating yourself up..i'm happy you managed to shift complete destruction and got your clear head back pretty quickly.

Look after yourself and do anything you can to stay away from them places..it's all in a mindset girl...you know it is.

Please stay safe and enjoy your Sunday

Take care x

Hey girl and how's it going. Hope ya got them flowers planted and all is looking good around ya. Another night to get in before my weekend comes and ain't gonna be here soon enough. Hope all is good with ya.

Hi there,

Hope all is good with ya. Touch the base girl, it's hard to soldier on by yourself. You know we are here for you all the way for good or bad.

stay safe and have peaceful day

S x

Well hey girl, no word from ya in a bit and just wondering how life is treating ya. Hope all is good and that get together with your friends went well. Guess I did a little tripping up last weekend but recovering from that fall quite well. Guess it can only hold ya down if ya let it and that ain't never happening. LOL sends us a line or 2 girl with a update. Miss hearing from ya.

Are you ok?????? Please drop us a line when you can. Be kind to yourself and stay safe girl

S x

Hey there

I must be paranoid but just hope ur safe..keep going girl, we all know how better life we can provide to ourselves without self destruction crossing the path..

stay safe

S x

Hi Carla,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok and staying strong xx

Carolyn, where are you ?? Dark Place /

Hi Carla,

Wrote a long entry on ur diary yesterday. Never send it tho...don't wonna come across as a cry baby.

Just want you to know that no matter how many times you tell me not to worry - i will, we are in this fight together and i for one will never ever leave your side. DO YOU HEAR ME!!!! (Lol..i'm not shouting 🙂 ). Just come back and get all the support offered, you are never on your own.

Please please be kind to you...you are worth all the good things in life..just take them cause they are right in front of u ..

((((C)))) xx

Thanks for the support, my gamcare friends. I’m sorry for not posting or supporting others. I’m in a bad way…. Again. It seems that every time I get close to being on track, I self-sabotage. It’s as though I won’t allow myself to feel any peace. Surely, I am cutting years off of my life with this constant rollercoaster ride of emotions I subject myself to…. My insides continually bathed in adrenaline and cortisol…. My muscles in a perpetual state of contraction due to the tension within. There is nothing I can say to myself. There is nothing anyone can say. I know what I should be doing. I know how I should be thinking. I just seem to be incapable of change. I managed to repay that lady the large sum I owed her and have now put myself in a position where I need even more. I just keep sinking deeper and deeper into debt and damaging my credit rating even more. What fresh hell I continually create. I really considered not posting… don’t want to worry anyone, esp dear Sandra, but want others who continually f#@k up to know they are not alone. I probably won’t post again for a while as worry consumes me and saps me of what little energy I have, so sorry if I don’t respond to any replies. Just know that I do think of my gamcare friends and wish the best for all.

Hey girl and really good to hear from ya. Hell girl don't be riding the storm out alone when there's help to be had. Guess i had a gambling bout myself this weekend and sure sh-it it trips ya up in all sorts of ways but don't let it hold ya down. Make yourself known around here girl cause your surely missed.