Dear Diary....

100 congrats . Joanna you are an inspiration . Marching on with you hitthefanx

Aah, thank you so much Duncs and HTF - best wishes to you both.

So... 100 days! Telegram from the Queen, a visit from the Mayor, a cake..... and I still have all my own teeth. :oO

But it wouldn't have happened without this site, so many thanks to all, and special thanks to Mr B and his cohorts on the 2014 Challengel

Joanna

Hey Joanna

Did not wAnt to jump the gun waited for you to say 100 days very very well done have you got letter yet from her majesty lol you should be proud of yourself today

Suzanne xx

Many thanks Suzanne.

105 days - a really busy week for me so hardly any time to contribute to the site, but my thoughts are with you all.

Visited an historic building yesterday which had been built in 1850 as a home for "the worthy, aged and decayed". Yup, that sounds like me, well perhaps not the 'worthy' bit........

Day 108 - what do they say? 'The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off...'

so true - my weeks just get filled up with so many things going on, but that's great - no time to even think about throwing my money at the slots.

Hi baggins,

Well done on marching forward, you are doing brilliant. Keep up the fight and keep winning your life back.

Be proud

Take care

S x

Many thanks Sandra - the best of everything to you too.

Day 110 and feeling good. :o)

Day 112 and looking forward to my four months' milestone coming up. With each day that passes I feel more and more removed from my old gambling mindset, and I only have to look at my bank balance to remind me of that! However many times I might have 'won' there's no way I would have been 'in the black' now. :o)

Hi Joanna

Great post

You are showing me what I WILL achieve

Well done and Thankyou

Suzanne x

Hi Joanna, you helped me greatly before with your sympathy a few months ago, I read a lot of your posts on here, you help a lot I think, I was approaching the 100 day mark, but the addicition got the better of me last nite. The third time in 9 months it has got the better of me, feeling so ill and bad to day ..................... I know you will say the right things, no-one else left to confide in.

Hello lovely Spaingone - so very sorry that you are feeling so down, but you must remember that going back to 'the bad old ways' has happened to the majority of us at some time or other. D'you know, only this morning I was thinking that perhaps I could just get round my blocking software and have a look at a site - so these thoughts assail us all. You have withstood temptation for nearly 100 days - what an achievement.... and you can do it again. OK, you weren't able to keep up the momentum this time, but perhaps you were feeling low anyway, or fed up and it's then that the nasty little gambling troll catches us.

I was reading this morning about someone who climbs really difficult mountains, like K2, and he said it was because of the hardship involved that he did it. Not the fame, nor the admiration of other climbers, but that he knows within himself that he has conquered the pain and fear he has had to endure. You are going to get up that mountain, no matter how many times you have to return to base camp or you lose your footing - trust me.

Bless you,

Sherpa Joanna x

Hi Joanna, thanks for your reply I really appreciate it, right now u are the only person in the world I can talk to about this, my partner and son have heard so much about this that another blip from me and all communication lines would be down. Right now another dreadful loss is consuming all my thoughts, but if I may post to you now and again, I think it will help so ............ maybe later down the road I can help you, but you seem to be doing so well on your own. P

Hi Spaingone - so glad you got back to me as I was getting quite worried about you. Yes of course I will always be here for you, but you know that all of us, especially on the 2014 Challenge, are right behind you. We are all wishing you well and will support you all the way. If you can, post something on the Challenge and you will find a lot of goodwill there.

Only you can know the full extent of your predicament right now, but one thing I do know is that whatever disappointment you may cause in your partner and son, they would be devastated without you in their lives, your son especially. So do not give up on yourself - the money is lost, so be it. There are still ways to manage your debts, as others here will attest.

Perhaps now is also a good time to try to fathom out what triggers your lapses - relationship issues, boredom, guilt? Whatever it is, we both know that gambling is never going to solve it. Sometimes I think we gamble as a way of punishing ourselves and of course then it just becomes one sad cycle of self-disgust and chasing after losses to try to make ourselves feel better.

So be kind to yourself, even if you don't like what you see when you look in the mirror - just smile and promise yourself that you will make good, however long it takes, and you will begin to see an honest, determined face looking back at you. I know you can do this.

Joanna

Hi Joanna - sorry for hijacking your diary, but wanted to send a message to Spaingone......

Spain - as Joanna says, you are not alone, we are all here for you so please don't ever feel isolated or ostracized or alone. If you want to drop me an email then please do via the one at the bottom of the very first post on the challenge thread. Don't be ashamed of the blip - that's all it is, a bump in the road and it can be recovered - learnings and resolve mate. I'm going to leave a message for you on the challenge update when I do that next.

Joanna - thanks for being one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of coming across in life.......and I wish I could meet you to hug you and thank you in person. You are a very very special lady.

Mr B

Oh Mr B - I am truly humbled by your words - thank you so much. I send you a 'virtual' hug back - I am so grateful for your support

and for visiting my Diary just when I needed you.

Dear Spaingone - you see, we are not giving up on you. You are as special as anyone on this site, and I hope our love and support is uplifting you during the rotten time you are going through. x

I hope you don't think this is facetious, but I do like to quote things in my posts, so ...

"Tomorrow is another day...."

Scarlett O'Baggins

Sleep tight, and tomorrow take a deep breath, look up at the sky and be glad to be alive. x