Deep breath and start again

Ohh that is wonderful news, I'm so glad he has shown you the strength you need 🙂

& great to see the plans for hard work continue! I think sometimes people have a 'phew' moment & then somehow believe they are cured...Don't ever let complacency back, keep kicking - ODAAT

Thanks Dean and ODDAT! I feel so relieved. I know, first hand, what complacency does and I am quite happy never to be cured but to be super duperly controlled. Addiction is a fekker and my aim is to control it and not let it control me.

I love this forum, it feels like going to your Granny's. It's warm and welcoming and, whatever you do she's there for you!

see you in chat my lovely stalker xx

Well done Annie made up it went well for you. This is the start now I'm sure you don't want to have that conversation again. It sounds like you have some great support there an here and j hope the counselling works out for you.

KTF

Yes well done Annie, it's really is a hard thing to do, you must feel sooo relieved now, that the deceit to your husband has ended.

It is a big turning point to help us move forwards, I hope you get your debt sorted soon on a plan that you can financially manage, that will be the second big relief, :))

Day 5 and you have already taken important steps to kick this addiction into the gutter where it belongs.

Keep making those right choices and keep winning for real.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Annie , brave lady it takes guts to come clean again, well done ! Time to draw that line and move onwards and upwards with your life . Proud to walk alongside you ! Xx

Annie

wow...reading about you is like reading about myself, I'm feeling less alone, down to the smallest details....I used to get my nails done once a month, I haven't bothered for 6 months, not had my hair cut, my house is not what it was, tidy but not cleaned like it used to be! I work from home, instead of my normal routines, I have just spent hours and hours every day playing online, ignoring work, ignoring cleaning, telling my children that I'm too busy Working to do whatever they wanted me to do. Annie we can do this, were good people, we just have to rid ourselves of our demons and show the world. Taking money from our children...Annie alarm bells are ringing loud! We know it...we can do this x

Whoop whoop, good on you.

Now recovery starts for you and for hubby......Slowly, slowly catchee monkey. ...

Hi annie , never met your nan but she sound's full of wisdom , we can learn so much from generations past .

Thanks so much for popping by on my diary and your lovely comment's really appreciate them , congratulations on getting back on track , nearly at the first week { whoop , whoop !].

You go girl and show em how it's done !

xx

Hello my trusted diary. This is day 7 and I am in a completely different place to the last tiem I stopped gambling for 7 days. I have told my husband, I have a counsellor and I have a supportive bunch of cyber friends.

Today was my first counselling session. It went well, although it felt a bit odd having this deep converstation whilst on my lunchbreak at work. This is how it was planned as I hadn't spoke with my husband before the session was booked. Next week my counsellor will call me at home and I'm sure things will be a bit more relaxed. We identified some trigger points for gambling and did some goal setting. It felt really good to talk with someone who understands how this destructive addiction can change your life and also someone who can guide you through your recovery.

Also today I was verbally offered a job on the quiet, but I know my secret is safe here!! Hopefully in April I will be starting a new job, doing the same thing, but for more hours and a better hourly rate. I am trying to not get too excited about it as I have been let down in the past but I am a tiny wee bit thrilled especially as I have been 'head hunted'! If this all works out I will be able to pay my debt quicker.

A strange thing happened tonight; I was booking some train tickets and I had to enter the 'long number' of my debit card I suddenly felt strange and then I realised that this was the first time I have done that in many months where the money is not being deposited into a gaming account....felt weird. However, onwards and upwards and less about the past, we're looking to the future now.

Best wishes to all in their road to recovery. Take care xx

Hi annie , How thing's change with us from day to day !

One week gamble free and a job offer ! , congratulations annie I hope it all comes your way .

I was the same with my last few bank statement's, just sat there looking and realising there were no withdrawls on my card from either the casino or cashpoint near the bookies , a strange but great feeling!

Take care annie x

Day 8 nearly done and dusted. Spoke with debt counsellor and sat most of afternoon looking at my incomings and outgoings and more importantly how much I owe in credits cards....very sobering state of affairs. I knew I was over my head in debt but never really sat down and did the number crunching, feel sick at tthe thought of the money I have wasted and at the thought of the length of time I will be paying it off. However, my goal is to abstain and refrain and subsequently not add to the mountain of debt I have. Phoning the debt counsellor tomorrow with the numbers and hopefully, she should give me an idea of the payment plan.

As I keep saying, onwards and upwards. We will get there my friends, just keep the faith.

I have been wondering what to do in the evenings as I'm not really a TV fan and I have looked out some wool and pins and tomorrow I will start knitting again. I used to love knitting, crocheting, sewing and I am looking forward to exploring that as I now have so much free time on my hands.

Take care all and best wishes with your recovery xxx

If you can help me with crocheting would be much appreciated! Ain't picked up the hook for a few days... got a lot of patches to make. It seems to take ages. I reckon it takes me 2 minutes to do one line so looking at best part of an hour for 1 small square patch! My hand that I'm holding the yarn and the patch really starts to cramp and ache from being in the constant position.

Day 9. Busy day at work, feeling tired again, but possibly just working too hard!!

Seven years of gambling has left me with a debt of one and a half years wages and that is a very sobering thought. My debt obviously has been more than that as I have wagered wages and money which belonged to my husband and daughter. I am ashamed to have put myself in such a predicament however, I cannot go back I can only go forward and beat this nasty addiction and never put myself or my lovely family in this position again.

I cannot thank my husband enough for his support and the way he has dealt with this, he has been a star. He even bought me my favourite cake as a surprise when he came in from work this morning. I wish I had had the courage to ask my husband for help earlier and would urge anyone keeping their addiction from their loved ones to ask for help - it has been a real turning point for me.

Take care buddies and very best wishes in your recovery xx

Hi Annie,

Such a lovely touching post ☺ really pleased you recognise the help of your loved one but please...no regrets, ..you are on the right track and have to look ahead...i guess we done enough damage to ourselves over the process of "madness", no need to keep that hammer over your head.

Little steps forward, this is not a race..keep finding old you and reconnect with the people who matters the most ☺

By the way - well done on double figures, you're doing it!

Sandra

Well day eleven is nearly over and things are great. It's totally different from last time's attempt at recovery as now I feel I am recovering. What a change in my life with no more secrets and sneaking about. It's funny that my friends and family think of me as a big sofite who cannot tell lies when, in fact I have become quite an expert in order to hide my addiction.

I am in a good place and that's nice. Probably won't be on for a couple of days as I am having a wee op tomorrow and will be taking it easy and resting over the next few days.

Goodnight lovely people and catch up Monday, take care xxx