DГ©sormais......

Hi Ade,

I know the feeling and have been there many times myself. I have slipped and fallen sooo many times over the last 10 + years that I have lost count. Good for you seeking out a trusted friend to talk to! It is so important to be heard and not judged. I echo all of the other voices on here. It's yours for the taking friend. Day 1 Day 1000 we are all here today for the very same reason. Hugs. -joan

Thanks Shiny, Blondie, Duncs and Joan for your kind supportive posts.

I did not gamble yesterday or today. I have felt far less tense and on edge today than in recent weeks. I think that I become a totally different being when I am strangled by the compulsive gambling urges.

They are afterall, in my case, a bi-product of not being happy in general.

My depressive moods kind of lead me into a weird state of paranoia and my anxiety is heightened to make me feel quite distant from real life.

I have gambled quite recklessly in the past, and while I am in that state I am blinkered from my normal life. I have escaped to a different world of frenetic reckless punting on S***e that I have little knowledge or control over.

I am really trying to change and see my life for what I have as I sit here today. I own my home, I have a car, I have a family, I have money in the bank, I have friends, I have a job, I have a pretty normal existence without gambling intruding into it.

I therefore have to be happy with my lot and stop chasing the impossible dream of winning lots of money.

It has gone far beyond that for me now. It's no longer about getting that big win anymore.

If I knuckle down and limit my day to day spending, I could save hundreds/thousands of pounds over the next few months. But if I continue to fritter away £10 here, £20 there, etc, etc....it just ain't gonna happen.

Today I have to follow the fine lead of Shiny, Blondie, Duncs, Gazza, Joan, and others on here that have stood by me and stand up and be counted. I am stopping gambling. One day at a time I CAN do this......

Keep strong all

MW (Ade) ;0)

Good stuff magic keep it up mate 🙂

The bear

MW.

Hope this finds you well.

If i can stop gambling, you can too.

You know what to do mate.

Best wishes,

gazza

Hi MW,

if you have to say those words in the mirror to yourself every morning do it....., I CAN DO IT......

You can do it MW, dig deep, call on all your strength and willpower, fake it till you make it and try and pull the postives out of each day that is gamble free.

Take it nice and slow, be kind to you and celebrate those small success's.

take care

blondie x

Yo,

You know you can do this . You have had sustained times of abstinence. And you most certainly have the will .

Keep going mate , it's not easy but then rebuilding your shower room, the tiling the plumbing most of us wouldn't know we're to start . Think I should of said plumbing before tiling lol think that proves my point .

Stay strong

Shiny xxxxx

Thanks The Bear, Gazza, Blondie and Shiny for your support.

Had a couple of rough days fighting the dreaded urges. Was pay day yesterday, which didn't help, but have managed to avoid temptation and am trying to focus on more worthwhile positive pursuits instead.

At times, the pull to gamble hits me hard and churns my stomach into knots which make me nigh on physically sick. I have also found that I can tremor with mild shakes too. Not sure if this is linked to my heart medication, but it is a bit weird.

I am planning to reply to you all in due course to thank you all personally for your continued support. Its just sometimes I find it hard to post to others when my head is not really right myself. If that makes sense?!?

I have to be fully focused and positive, and then I can help others too.

If I am struggling and reality seems a long way away I just find that I cannot get off the revolving roundabout long enough to offer credible advice on recovery.

I did not gamble yesterday and I have not gambled today.

I have things planned with the kids tonight. Church club for one and roller skating for the other. The Dad taxi will be busy! Then swimming duties tomorrow for them both. My eldest daughter is doing a 2.5km swim for a Cancer charity and she's only 10. I am very proud of her indeed. 100 lengths of the pool. It tires me out watching her!! ;0)

Keep strong all and keep focused. I know I will, and I know that I will not be frittering away this months wages on gambling. I am going to get back saving and appreciate what I have.

MW

Hey Magic Wand,

Just stopping by to wish you a great weekend and continued success in your hard efforts to beat this addiction. Hang in there you can do it.

Chicagoguy

Hi Ya Ade,

I know what cha mean about not always feeling up to posting on other diaries. Never you mind that. You take care of you and your own. You do what you need to do to get strong. We are all here for you! Here's a hug buddy! -joanxxxx

Thank you both so much Chicagoguy and Joan. Your posts of support are very much appreciated.

My recovery is slowly but surely improving. Yesterday was a major triumph for me, as I managed to navigate away from many urges and weakened moments throughout the day.

I am pretty positive and focused right now, but experience and too many relapses in the past has told me that I can NEVER be complacent.

Yesterday was a nice day. Bit of DIY in the garage first thing. Then we had a visit from my Mum for some lunch. We all went to watch my eldest daughter do her sponsored swim - in-laws came too. Then back home before popping out for a bite to eat and back home for some TV. A relatively normal family orientated day for me.

I still had the usual Saturday urges to punt on the football. And again in the evening to bet on the boxing. Strong urges that I would have acted on quite normally in past days. They are always there. But I am coming to terms with the fact that if I constantly act on them, and let them into my life. I will never get better, and get back to who I want to be. Back to some kind of normality. The middle lane as Shiny would say.

Also I keep reading Blondies ver first post. Mainly for inspiration and because It pretty much sums up how I felt too when I wanted to quit gambling for the very first time. I could have written that post. I can feel the words she has written shiver through me.

I know that we can all stop hurting ourselves on here and break free of the gambling addiction that drags us down.

Keep strong all, and enjoy the sunshine that Sunday has brought us today! ;0)

MW.

Ade.

My dear friend a fantastic post to read, good for a man's soul, fella I hope you take as much from it as we the read get.

Just for today my friend a massive Well done from me.

The decision to fight the urge and conquer it is something amazing, for it be proud, of you I am.

Honoured.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thank you for the supportive post Duncs.

Morning all. The sun is shining and today is going to be a great non-gambling day.

Just for today I will not gamble. I will feel alive again, and most importantly I will be kind to myself.

Keep strong all

MW ;0)

Hi Ade,

Go with it man! Go!! -joanxxxx

Thanks for the support Joan.

A great positive day for me today. Productive at work and at home.

Can now sit down and watch some football without any money riding on it.

Six days now without gambling, and I feel a great sense of calm.

No more paranoia or angst.

Keep strong all

MW

MW.

Long may this contented feeling last.

Best wishes,

gazza