Ade
didnt realise you were Magic Wand. You were on these diaries when I came on over 3 years ago and you are still here now.
both of us have yet to conquer this illness but we keep trying. We will both feel we have made progress. Others reading our diaries will probably differ and just think - these guys have no resolve, no determination, they wont take the advice etc. I hope we can stay on the right track and prove others wrong but mostly of course for ourselves.
I dont like to compare too much but I do feel you and I have deeper more integrated gambling (and probably life) issues than many on here. Some who come on and are able to stop quite quickly and realise immediate benefits, whilst I applaud and support them, it appears to me that gambling hasnt been ruling their lives.
I think for you and I we want to stop or control and dont want to be continually plagued by gambling but at the same time we have such a reliance on it that we find it so hard.
Thanks forthe supportive posts - much appreciated.
Back to work today after two days off with my lovely daughters. No cash in my pocket today, and therefore no fuel to start any fires. Anyway I have been far to busy to even contemplate gambling.
I have had a productive day at work and even managed to tolerate some of the useless numpties that I have to deal with at work!!
My last bet was at 6.00pm on the 28th May 2013. I really want to be able to keep saying that each day. One day at a time is still enough.
Keep strong all
Ade
Hey Ade,
I'm loving that attitude friend! Have a great weekend. -joanxxx
ade
fella great to see your resolve grow again my friend.
in regards to how into gambling we are, me i see it the other way around.
how much has gambling got into us.
me for twenty years it got progressively worse, it ruled my every judgement in the end, my life was all about fueling the next punt.
a fella said once which is worse the high roller who did a fortune in a night or the fella who was dispatched with the washing to the laundrette but instead went to the bookies and gambled what he had??
there both the same, we all are in my mind.
give us money to feed our addiction, somewhere to do it and the time and the result will always be the same.
we will eventually lose that, then find more fuel to feed our addiction.
there is a way to stop.
one way.
abstain and maintain.
fella i commend your honesty, it makes a great bond for us to share.
remember that day, you made a choice.
keep making it.
one day at a time
duncs stepping forward never back.
Thanks for the support Joan and Duncs - much appreciated.
Looking forward to the weekend.
Keep strong all
Ade
Great start to my day.
Went to the tip early, then just blitzed the front garden and all before midday!
Mind you, as I was tidying the front garden, my neighbours dad popped around and just happened to ask me "What do you fancy for The Derby today?"....
I answered that I had been so busy, I hadn't even looked. And that is where the conversation ended. Trouble is it was then in my head, and all the usual Saturday habits come to the fore with a thought like that in my head. So I headed here to post about it.
I will not be going anywhere remotely near a bookies today. I am stronger than that.
Time for a nice hot shower, lunch and an afternoon with the kids in the garden. It doesn't get much better than that, and it doesn't cost me a penny.......
Keep strong all
Ade ;0)
Hi Ade,
It's great to see you sticking close to the diaries and just getting "it" down and out of your head. I can get triggered sometimes by what might seem to some like the most benign things -- something on a tv game show etc. The urges are going to come. Let em. We can fight them and we can beat them. The bottom line for folks like us is that gambling does not work. We cannot win because we cannot stop. Just remember that I am just like you and I'm gonna fight this thing to the finish. There for you. -joanxxx
Thanks for the post Joan.
The sun is out, been to superstore, stocked up with goodies, barbeque ready to go and all is good in my world today.......
No room for gambling.
Keep strong all
Ade ;0)
Yo,
Hmmmmmm barbecue sounds nice 🙂
Oh and by the way re your prevous post ,
Yes mate you are stronger than that ! Once again you proved it .
Enjoy sitting in sunshine beer and burgers , chilling .
Shiny xxxxxx
Hi Ya Ade,
I'm with Shiny -- a barbeque sounds just perfect!! Life is good buddy life is real good!! Keep feeling those good -good -good good vibrations. Might need to go listen to some Beach Boys now. 🙂 -joanxxx
Thanks for the posts of support Shiny and Joan.
Just read this answer to how to stop gambling on another web-site. Quite an interesting answer I thought.....
First of all realize you could hear all the right things, get the best advice possible, have all the help you need, and if you're not 100% truly committed to giving up gambling within yourself there's still a high chance you're going to end up continuing gambling. So the most important thing is that you totally apply yourself mentally to being determined to actually give it up ok. That's imperative.
Now you have to switch off from this impulsive mind with a flurry of thoughts you know like ''if only i did this, if only i bet on them, i was close this time, i used to win i probably just got sloppy, if i study the form etc harder then i'd be winning, i'll train my brain to keep control if i lose then i'll begin to win on average''
Switch straight off from all these thoughts, they are totally irrational, addictive needs outweighing everything else. and it's your mind trying to force yourself to believe that you can almost change the past in the future. There will just be different 'reasons'
You begin to want to stop but you cannot pull out right? because you're down or you just want 1 more go, or whatever.
If you can envision 2-3 years ahead you haven't gave up, you're losing everything you make, you've got nothing left, you feel depressed like you've wasted valuable years of your life, you've let everyone close to you down, you don't feel like you can recover...right then you can cry you can be even suicidal...your ego is crushed.
In your mind right now you think this place owes you money and you want it back.. but somewhere inside you, you know there's a much bigger chance you're going to lose a lot more trying to get it back. It's hard to say it's gone, but it is. Let it go. Don't even think i'll work and now im getting some back. Just let it go. Totally wipe it out. Mistake happened..money gone. Over. Start fresh.
You see you feel weak when you lose, helpless yes. How do you turn a weakness into a positive? overcoming a weakness makes you strong. That will restore your ego. The weakness is not being undisciplined... it's allowing yourself to gamble when you know you're more than likely going to lose. Let me put this scenario you win all your money back...however you try to brainwash yourself into contemplating this scenario, if you win your money back you're not gonna feel strong not 1 bit, you're gonna maybe have 1-2 days where you sorta celebrate think you're done, before you feel weak and like you need to gamble again, and you won before you can win again, and you're ok for money now so if you lose a bit you'll keep your head....trust me 1 week later it'll be all gone again.
If you overcome the weakness that means not gambling getting on with life you will be stronger better and your ego will return to where it should be, and you can look back at this horrible predicament you was in and think im so glad im not there and not going to return.
There is barely anyone out there who actually makes a worthwhile income from gambling, Just bookies & Casino's and maybe a handful of poker players.
Have you ever been losing a lot, say you got 40 a left...you know you're going to lose it 99% and you're already desperate depressed, but you basically throw it away anyway?
It becomes self hating, you almost hate yourself. So you punish yourself, if you had just 10 left at that time, and you could buy McDonald's and you're hungry, but instead you throw it away knowing you weren't going to win and if you did you were going to gamble that anyway(may or may not apply to you this i don't know) But you do begin to punish yourself.
So here you have to look at it, you're a human ok. All humans make mistakes. And a lot of humans suffer at some point in their life with an addiction. You have to forgive yourself. There's a lot of people with gambling problems...you're not here because you're undisciplined you can be as disciplined as you like you're still going to lose, being undisciplined Just means you lose money quicker.
Whatever your issues, personal problems, or confidence issues sort them out in other ways..gambling is not a solution, a cure or a friend..it'll bring you down keep and you down
gambling is the easy option the weak option it makes you weak...but doing the right thing however hard it is, is what makes you stronger. And you know yourself you don't really want to do it, and know it is not going to work out no matter what. Remember don't punish yourself.
Keep strong all
Ade
Fantastic post Ade, one of the best I've ever read. Covers all the ground.
Hi Ya Ade,
Yes, it did definitely help to get some of that "stuff" out of my head and onto the diary. I too appreciate all of your support as well. I agree with the Captain, that last post really does say it all! Hang in there my friend. We can do this one day at a time!! -joanxxxx
ade
my friend today has been a day when i needed to lean on the forum for support, my position out of my comfort zone, i have had to dose up on far to many medicines to get through the day, they mess with my mindset, so i use this forum as my crutch.
and that post i will add to the mayonaise and two beers, in pride of place on my kitchen wall.
ade my honourable friend I hope you too took as much from that amazing post.
I salute you.
with honour and strength.
duncs stepping forward never back.
Thanks Captain, Joan and Duncs for your posts.
Struggling today. Old habits die hard and all that. I should know better, but the desire to self-destruct is still there, and not very far from the surface.
I really want to wipe out this behavioral pattern. If only it was that easy...
I am suffering from low-self esteem at the moment and generally putting on a front to get me through each day.
I should be happy as Larry with my lot, but I just can't seem to maintain my happiness. Not getting any fulfillment from my marriage, and haven't really for the last 7 years or so. My youngest daughter is 7, funny that eh!...Most probably the root cause of my problem if I'm honest.
Gambling just acts as an escape from not dealing with the underlying unhappy marriage I have.
But would I be any happier if I was on my own? Would I still gamble? Or would I get worst?
I need to get my head straight and seek some professional help or advice to get some clarity back in my thinking....
Ramble over
Ade
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