Determined to keep a diary

196.

My diary says 196, but I started it on day 3. Tomorrow is my official 200 day gf point. Something I never thought I could say. I don’t think about gambling anymore. The most common question I see new people ask in the chat rooms is ‘does it get easier’. It 100% does. Once your brain starts to change you rarely think about it. I read a few different papers on this and it takes anywhere for 60-100 days to fully change your brains habits. Sounds like a long time but it flies by. Keep joining the chats, keep yourself busy and before you know it, you’re looking back and hating the old you and loving the new.

Sleep time. Mr pooch is coming to visit tomorrow!! 

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm 👌💪🍷

🩷🍎.

197.

Officially 200, but I’ll stick with the diary numbers.

Easy one today. Got the pooch, cooked a lovely dinner of duck breast. In bed already as mr pooch wanted to go so will log into the chat room and say hi. 

Meeting a couple of friend for dinner tomorrow which I’m looking forward to. Things I could never be able to do before. The perks of not gambling. Don’t get me wrong I couldn’t do it every week, I’m still paying off debts, but to be able to go is such a boost. Makes it all worthwhile.

Stay strong 💪 

198.

Had a lovely night. Didn’t spend much which was good and home at a reasonable time. 

Will catch up a bit more tomorrow. Tired tonight as the dog got me up at 5 again. Grrrr

Stay strong 💪 

199.

I can’t remember the last time I had an urge. That’s how comfortable you get when you rack the numbers up. I suppose the next challenge is making sure I’m not complacent. Still 100% confident on that front too, but I can’t let things slip even for a second.

Tomorrow is my diary day 200. As part of my recovery this diary has been amazing. It’s been my go to place to talk about whatever I want. As part of my ongoing recovery I’m going to wean myself off the diary slowly. Tomorrow will be my last daily post, but I will still post once or twice a week. I still go to the chat room most nights and I still read every new entry in everyone else’s posts. It’s sad and depressing sometimes, but to see people come through with each new post is rewarding. 

Thanks to everyone who’s been on this journey with me. You’ve all helped more than you can know. If I get even the smallest hint that I’m slipping into old ways I shall be returning daily to seek your advice. Until that point it will be less frequent. 

Hopefully this is the right decision. I’ll be keeping a very close eye on myself, and as mentioned I can be found in the chat rooms each night if I’m not working.

Thanks again all. You know who you are.

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm . Hi Fish 🐟. I understand where you are coming from as I also feel the same and as you no doubt can already see, since I have gone back to full time employment, I have not been writing daily but like you, have been reading posts each night up until now.

I find that the only time I really think about gambling is when I come on here! I wonder if this is a help or a hindrance? However, yesterday morning, I read some sections of my diary, which helped me just make the most of my weekend 👍.

I haven’t even had much time to get onto chat and thinking about that, I ask myself if I really want to be discussing anything gambling related as I don’t think about it any other part of the day. I am going to try and go on it this Thursday, just to let people know I am still doing well.

You and me have been on this journey together and it seems today, we have similar thoughts. It will be strange not to see your daily posts but I understand the reasons you are doing this also 👍. I was thinking that my next post will be day 200 and then I too will be spacing my entries out more as the weeks/months go by.

Take care Fish 🐟. May you continue to go from strength to strength in all areas of your life. You deserve it!👏👏👏👏👏👏💪🙏.

“Stay strong” 💙

Your friend Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Day 200

Thanks @pinklady. As per usual your words are spot on. I’ve missed reading your diary lately but seems you are the same point as me. Now the challenge becomes watching out for the slip. As long as we keep things locked down tight and come back to here if things get tempting (before the slip) we can continue to be gf and enjoy the benefits. I’ll still follow your diary, and I’ll still read everyone’s posts elsewhere. It definitely keeps me motivated.

Day 200. Mad that it’s come to this. Never thought I could do this but this diary and the people who have offered words of advice have made this journey bearable. It’s been tough, allot of lows, but lately a lot more highs. My personal life is so much better now. Yes I’m single, yes I live alone. Gambling did that, but I’m quickly realising that things can change for the better and you never know what’s round the corner. 

Funny really as when gambling I always knew what was round the corner. When I look back at day 1 of this diary, I knew that day was round the corner. It will get you in the bed unless you get it first. I didn’t. I paid the price. I’ve got it now.

This is not the end of my diary, but it’s the end of the daily updates. I’m sure I’ve still got lots more nonsense to spill!

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Huge congrats for reaching another milestone of 200 days Fish 🐟👏👏👏👏👏👏.

Have a lovely week and don’t forget your “milestone treat”!! 😁

Take care.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Amazing Fish,

200 days, incredible achievement. Your diary and your support in the chat room has been invaluable to me and, as I've said before, you being the first person to comment on my very first post, someone who truly knew my situation and how I was feeling, I will always be truly grateful for.

It's fantastic to see you doing so well on your gambling free life and long may it continue.

Look forward to your next update, whenever that may be. 💪🏾

Thank you for the nice posts and comments. You all have genuinely been an inspiration to me. Some at the same stage, some bringing up the rear. Each and everyone of you are inspiring in your own way. It’s so good to see people early in my story now giving advice to others. It’s like seeing a student become a master 😂.

I started off being worried about posting in peoples threads. Thinking ‘what do I know?’. We all know nothing, but we also know everything. We last a day, we are as good as everyone else. Day 1 advice is as good as day 2000 advice. Everything helps.

respect to you all 💪

@p6z38njbqm  Hi fish!

I checked in and panicked when I saw a few daily updates missing from your Diary 🤣 

Then read that you had hit 200 days and would be posting less frequently.

Truly amazing work.  I am really proud of the determination you have had over the past months.  You have seen me through a few dark days.

I look forward to your next update!

Thanks bean. Sorry to scare you! It’s amazing how many people take interest in other peoples life. I’ve followed your journey whenever you post and it’s great to see you still going strong. It’s been a tough ride for both of us, for most of us, but all of our stories show that it can be done, especially with the support of others. Thanks again for the support. I would say you don’t understand how much it helps, but you probably do as you have a similar diary. Stay strong my friend 💪

206.

Nice to be back. Feels weird not posting daily. I think it’s a good move though. Still been in the chatrooms most nights. It’s so good to hear of others looking for help and taking the advice. Seen so many people on day 1 who are now on day 14, day 50, day 100. It works. Come join!

Lots going on in my real life. Mostly good. Had a lovely day today and am super confident about my life moving forward. A place I never thought I could be. Today definitely feels like a turning point. The past is always the past. It’s sad to leave it behind, but the future is the only thing that matters and right now it looks good. 

Lots to think about, lots to focus on. The new me is a happy me and all because I quit gambling!

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm What a lovely read Fish!🐟👌.

May your week be a good one.🙏.

Take car.

Pink Lady 🩷🍎.

Hi weirdfish,

I've been reading your journey and you are an absolute inspiration. It wouldn't be possible for new people to get recovery if it wasn't for yourself and others who are walking the path to freedom. 

Thank you! 

Thanks you pinky and littlemartin- as always I’m blown away by the support this forum offers. It’s is nice to hear that my journey has helped others. All I can say is that I’ve just done what works for me. There is no golden fix. It’s what you make it. The most important thing is that you get the help. This place has been my help. It may differ for everyone. I’ve not been to GA for months due to work, but I’ve been in the chat rooms here just nights. It takes work, you have to want this, you have to give it everything, but trust me it’s the best thing you’ll ever do.

Day 209

I have an end of debt day in sight. I’ve worked so hard to get here. It’s what I’ve dreamed of. It’s what I gambled for (lol). Now without gambling I will be the person I wanted to be. Life is getting to be amazing. It’s not quite there yet but it’s close. 
Do I have regrets? Of course. But I can’t change that now. I made my bed, I’m now climbing out of it and making it. Trust the advice. Focus on the goal and anyone can do this. It’s not easy, but it’s got to be better than not eating for days because you lost all your money!

Stay strong 💪