Diary of a familiar tale

well ya got some days behind ya and maybe just stop counting them and just live in the day your in. its all we got control of any way. just think of yourself as a past gambler and you dont do that no more. when ever the next urge hits just think really loud in your head you dont do that no more. repeat the thought every time a urge hits that you just dont gamble no more. gambling is a negative in your life so replace the thought with a positive thought. in that you dont gamble no more. ya think it enough really loud in your head every time that urge hits it just becomes second nature to think i dont do that no more. just replace the negitive thought with the positive thought.

Cheers for the post. I can't believe out diaries will be a year old. How quick has this year gone?

Day 6. It's good mate. It's a bloody hard habit to kick. One day at a time and just keep it going. Never gamble today, don't worry about tomorrow. You said you know you can do this, we know it to and that's progress mate. Just keep it up a day at a time and as you well know things well get better.

hope all is good with ya and them urges at a minimum to none. stay strong

hi paulds,

Hope all has settled down a little for you. Remember that body armour keep it on my friend and keep ironing out those chinks in the armour, You will get there you might be a little battered and bruised but you will get there !

take care, be strong.

Blondie x

just thought ild pop in to see how your doing. hope all is good with ya.

Day 13 gamble free.

Popping by to say thanks so much for your replies, back up and running now an confident about going through christmas gamble free, absolutely no money to spend but hey being gamble free is the most important thing.

Really want to enjoy my recovery, each day spent moaning and worrying about money is a day lost, each day feeling depressed is a day lost, life can be lived in the light rather than the dark.

Have to keep positive and rely on that armour that gets stronger with fewer chinks, it is not a daily battle we live, it is a daily life we lead, now go and live it Paul!

Paulds

Great post Paul! I could'nt agree more. One day at a time. Chin up, and face toward the sun!! Hugs. -joan

Nice post mate. One day at a time thats as quick as we need to or should want to live. Each day you dont gamble is a day worth celebrating, as you say enjoy your recovery - your doing a great thing don't ever forget that.

Day 16 Gamble free

Thanks Judy and David for your comments, just about to pop by and catch up on a few diaries

Ticking along with the car crash of the gambling period still there but it is behind me now. I can see it if I turn my head but why always look back? I am going forwards now, the past has gone, it is always there and can't be changed so why spend so long looking at it?

Paulds

Hey Paul,

Loved your last couple of posts and great to see your still ironing out those chinks. Your so right life is for living in the now, yes the past can shape us into the people we are but that doesnt mean that we have to torture ourselves about things we could of done differntly. As long as there is breath coming out of my lungs I have another chance to turn it around.

Be positive and remember of all the judgements we pass in life, none is more important than the judgement we pass on ourselves. Be kind to yourself mate, take pride in those small strides your taking, be patient and be persistant.

I have every faith that you can and will do this.

Take care

Blondie

Hi Paul,

Thanks so much for your post on my diary. I love your spirit and determination. We can do this I just know it. Bring on the new year!! -joanxxx

Day 17 gamble free

Target 21 days

Thanks Blondie and Joan for you support as I really need it, sending it right back to you as well.....

Just little steps at the moment just want to be gamble free today, tomorrow is another day to come out fighting.

Feeling a little low today so have decided to post, I want to think it is not related to gambling but of course it is. All the unhappy situations I have been in can trace their roots back to that horrible addiction.

Anyway down but feeling positive for the future if that makes sense, it is but a cloud hanging over me and I can see the wonderful sunny days ahead.... As compulsive gamblers we want everything in an instant of course, took me years to understand that, or perhaps years just to accept it.....

Stay safe and strong out there!

Paulds

Day 18

Target 21

Not feeling great so thought I would post everyday. Gamble free is good and something to hold on to. No progress can be made without it.

Wish there was a secret answer but there is not, wish there was a magic formula but there is not. Just hard work and saying today is a day I will not gamble, today I am in control not the addiction. Today I choose not to gamble.

These times will pass as they always do, things will improve and the more positive we are the more likely they are to happen and the more likely we are to experience them sooner.

It is cloudy today but it can't rain forever.

Paulds

HI Paulds,

Great post from you again and oh so very true.

someone once said to me there are 3 times you should give this addiction the attention and respect it needs.

1 when things are going well

2 when things are tough

3 all other times in between.

The rain will pass and continue racking up those days pauls and the forecast is looking mighty fine.

Take care

Blondie x

Day 19

Target 21

Ha love that one Blondie, that is so true!

I am slowly coming towards my target of 3 weeks, not without urges of course and again I marvel at how our brains can actually dismiss the heartache, dishonesty, stress, dark thoughts and financial meltdown that occurs when we gamble and says '£20 wont hurt'.

Not going to give in today, today I am in control and fighting that gambling demon. He is back in the box under the stairs, I have replaced the large chain around the box and added an extra padlock. I wish the gambling demon did not live with me but we have been placed together forever and opening tha box just a tiny amount is one step away from disaster. We must learn to live together and I must learn to be free, to be happy and to live my life without continually looking back under the stairs.

Say safe and strong

Paulds