Hello
After 7 long years of not gambling last month I finally admitted the demon that was my gambling mind had returned and was back again.
7 years ago I reached rock bottom and sought help/counselling and after 33 years I accepted my illness that is CG.
Last month I finally popped out of my bubble and admitted I was back to square one.
The lies had come back, the devious thought process, the hours stood in a dirty bookies, the paranoid stupid thoughts , the dark nights, the dreaded mornings, the excuses the ill health the empty pockets the guilt and the sadness. They had all returned.......they returned six/seven months ago if I'm honest.
So my question being this - Here I am again and a couple of weeks into my clean gamble free living and I am just starting to come round a bit, I mean, I have been irritable, moody, not tired, down, a bit moody, grumpy, reflecting a lot.
I work with drug addicts and if you take the physical effects of a detox away, I swear that a CG like me who is coming down really does have some kind of detox?
Does anyone agree with me?
It's a fact mate. A compulsive gambler like us continuously thinks about it. That real eases adrenalin on its own. When we walk into a bookies more adrenalin is released. Placing a bet... Even more win or lose is the final hit of adrenalin. Then it starts again.... Adrenalin is highly addictive. So yes we massively withdraw physically and mentally! Well done for coming back on the site and good luck
Gaz
Cheers Gaz
it was always a give away factor I had been gambling hard as I always went home with bright red face.
Stress and adrenalin I suspect........not good for the body.
I stil can't believe that I let myself forget all I had learnt through Counselling and all the torment I went through 7 years ago in order to stop.
wow complacency is a silly thing.......let the demon in my head stand back up and beat me.
Now I've been clean a week or so and I'm slowely getting the chasing money thoughts out of my head I'm feeling and thinking clearer.
Im even talking more and feeling relaxed again.....wow.
thanks Gaz
Start your own diary mate and post daily. It's a great help!
Gaz
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