Dormant

Paul

Fella a great couple of posts to read there my friend, funny I often think I learn the most these days from unexpected sources, the folk who are supposed to teach tend to preach and me I just shut down and glaze over.

Glad the old pm is still serving as a mind filler, use it to your advantage, he will have his just dessert's everyone does, that old give a man enough rope springs to mind.

As for the old fobt, I am glad to report the last couple of times I have passed all 5 seats are vacant, which always raises a smile for me, sad thing is when I was at it there were only two machines in the shop, so supply and demand, seems like all the less affluent areas bookies are the same, no standing room but a bank of the fobt, still they wont be gifted a penny of my hard earnt, I hope the same for you.

Watching a documentary last night on discovery I thought of you.

A fella said to his Son, there are three types of man in life.

- the one who watched it happen

- the one who made it happen

and the one who said Sh#it what happened!!!

I think I have ticked all three lol

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Ticking them boxes in the past with you Duncs and hope you have a flip of a burger for me.

A sudden bit of a crash; guessing letting the body slow down to where it should be. Thoughts of the S***e but not of putting into action. Read mail article of the restrictions being put on the fbot and a feeling of being sold short again by these fooks. Truthfully my thoughts are, the wheels invented and who am i to try and reinvent. Im a blip and just need blipping along without the company that's held me back the majority of my life. Do think hate is a powerful tool if harnessed in right way and can't hate gambling but happy to advertise what a crock of S***e it is.

Anyway enough of that ramble, a light bulb moment of late regarding the whooping tax bill hanging over me for the most of this year. Too long being controlled by S***e, going to get on the front foot with the 2 Bob robbing baztard tax man. Guess having diddly squat a blessing after all!

Near on 10 days now away from my ghetto. Replacing the flick knife carrying dogs and the flak jacket cats, with firstly the majestic swans and the quacks to the dancing magpies and howling packs. Guess im living. . .

Onwards and come on the 100% lufc. Marching on together

Sounds like your holding your own and guess thats the best any of us can do. Trudge on we will, to where this all leads who the f***k knows but hoping it's as good as made out to be. Lol lol lol hope your day is everything you want it to be.

Hai Soul, trudging along together with my amrican cuz and whether it takes us must be asight better without this gambling S***e...

Broken the 3 week cycle cursing me of late, day 22!! A tad down to start the week but f**k!! have had worse monday blues.

Have to go easy on my coffee intake as expensive and keep getting wired.

Trying to banish thoughts of wanting to be a hypnotist and trying to convince my pm is a parachute with his yes man a world famous parachuter and jumping of the new roof with the pm's love child a target.. If only!!

A brand new day starting a brand new week..

vroooooooom

Well way to go with hitting 3 weeks. Yeah all them little things add up quick. Hell I just buy a container of coffee and make it at work. Treat me work buds to it too. Sh-it for 8 or 9 smackers we got all the coffee we can drink for like 3 weeks. Hell theres tons of ways to save a buck if ya check em out on internet. Alot of em is no brainers but always find a few things that make ya go awe I gotta try that. Lol food, beverage and not eating out always saves a.few bucks though.

Hope ya had a happy monday.

Lol lol lol well hell yeah thanks for the m*w m*w clip. Boy that show never ceases to amaze me with what they come up with. That had to be great great m*w m*w and way to funny.

Fricken cold here in the states for this time of year, dont think it got much above 70 this week. Hell keeps this up I can save electricity and just unplug the fridge and beer will still be cold. Lol one day to go and my work week is over. Yahooooo lol

Hai Soul, not much above 70!! that would be considered a heat wave in good old blighty, yet funny enough the beer is still not cold.

Another night of tossing and turning, now pacing round the lounge for last hour. Not the usual S***e of work in my head or the gambling strangling the life out of me. I half get all that.

I hate being confused, being played a very close second to my list of hates. Cant do it anymore.

I have no arrogance regarding gambling, i know it lays dormant and thats maybe the biggest lesson ive learned this year. I know i can handle the S***e life throws around but i know one day some thing round the corner of the big S***e, thats when i'll probably need these diarys and be on my toes.

I worry about my future, yet i know theres f***k all i can do about that but let it takes its natural course. I stick my bravado face regarding the tax, but what can i do? A big sweet f/all. The futures an rabbit hole with a big f***k off ferret on my tail.

Lifes full of dramas and this site replicates it sometimes but where its got its upperhand is the trolls or invisible S***e. Looking back at my diary, ive become a champion whiner and truthfully bring f/all to this forum.

Guess im just sad and had enough. Life is really about just one day at a time and 20 hours left of this day, 1200 minutes or 72000 seconds, which ever goes faster suits me. For now thats the only aim im capable of or care about...

Out

Thanks for post and no I'm not a GC stooge ha ha!

Thanks for reading my diary and you summarise me well. I totally understand that it reads like a broken record. I have read many other diaries the same where to the reader it seems like the person is making no progress.

In truth only that individual knows how much progress they have made. Me - I have come a hell of a long way from gambling on everything that moved to my original goal of only sports, with a complete overturn of my life in terms of how I spend most of my spare time in parallel. I have taken away the pieces of the gambling jigsaw bit by bit. I appreciate it is harder for me in some respects as I have never aimed for complete abstinence.

Best wishes on your own continued recovery.

Thanks for your post in my diary, Volcano. I too get the "broken record" thing and the feeling of not contributing much to this forum, but you did help me today. Hang in there. We'll do this.

Yeah a little under 70 aint keeping it cold here either but dam sure does makes my skin crawl. Lol lol my work week be done it is, hell just got done brewing up what I hope is gonna be the most nasty a-ss batch of sun pickles created. sh-it like 3 jalapeño tossed into each gallon jar and just things that just make ya go ummmmm going on there. Lol lol lol

Hope you have good day at work there. I'll be spending the day shaking me pickles and maybe get pickled meself later.lol

Paul

Fella don't do yourself the misjustice of saying you bring f/all to this forum my friend.

You face your addiction with the same valour, honour and strength I do, that I truly believe. Your quote regarding the 24 hr cycle is something we to a man all share.

You face it fella, ok at times it gets the better of you, but please take this, although addiction still has it's vice like grip around your throat you still bring a gift that for me only true recovery brings.

Thats Humility, if you were still batting for the side of addiction you would not be the considerate humbled person you are.

For that I thank you and I know many other folk would too.

It is a pleasure to share my life with like minded folk as together we do stand.

For that be proud.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Agree with what those above said. You do offer a lot and must believe that. You also taught me a new word... I didn't know what "antipodean" meant and looked it up. Nope.... I'm not Australian, rather Canadian. You're prob in the UK so have a good evening. Day is just starting for me.

Hi Volcano,

I have to second what duncs said, you bring a lot to the forum, Your posts scream out honesty and also a real understanding of yourself and this addiction.

I posted a link on my diary today about failure being the stairway to success. You might lose some of the battles but you will win the war because you too are a member of the "balls of steel club".

One day at a time. !

Take care

blondie

TY, TY, TY.

Walked the thinnst of lines yesterday, not with gambling but with the fattest slothiest d*k of a pm ive ever had the pleasure of meeting. My pride says, carry on and keep facing the truth but it also says f***k his job and become robotic.

Im a scenario thinker and i always go to the ' think twice, do once ' this P**k likes to go the other way.

I potentially got offered another site yesterday morning but the dillemma is i like and respect his right hand man and the commercial team. The pri-k made it personal and my respect couldnt go any lower for this lowest of life forms. He's the face of gambling with his fat f*****g polka cheeks as he eats all the foooking pies.....

1020 minutes left of this f*****g day and my aim is.....

Head down and take the f*****g money..

Head down and take the f*****g money..

Head down and take the f*****g money, with a little bit of zip, lock it and throw the foooking key away as i learn to become a robotic....

A P-issed off bubbling volcano with balls of cotton wool.....

Fooooking Vroooooooom