Early days

Pleased to see you start a diary jay155.

Another positive step.

StepChange are used by many people to help manage their debt.

Keeping busy is crucial. Great to read you have an art course on Wednesday.

Dealing with a gambling addiction is a difficult ongoing process; expect some bumps along the way. Anytime you feel your struggling - help is only a click, post or call away here with netline, the chatroom, forum or helpline.

GamCare has helped many people - it can help you too.

Have a good week.

Glint

Drifting off to sleep last night I was restless. The old gambling thoughts wouldn't stop. IE Gamble my way out of debt. Aaaargh! So glad i blocked those websites. Woke this morning knowing Im still GF. RELIEF.
Today is a big day. Going to B*****d shop in a bit, to pick up a very old bet. It's only £18, but i cant go without that dosh, money being so tight 'n all. Very nervy for obvious reasons but I CAN DO IT. IN, OUT, DONE. Then treat myself to an overdue haircut!! Sounds silly but a reward for staying GF. I will update later today. Staying strong.

Home now. Safe & sound. I asked a friend who knows im not gambling to come with me to the gambling den. Picked up the money. Straight out. One haor cut later im happy. I know im.in a GF Bubble, tough times ahead no doubt. Just going with it for now.

Tomorrow is payday. Enough money for essentials.... water, elec, food plus a tenner off a personal debt. All well & good.
Well, No!! This week i face a huge phone bill, a ton over what it normally is. During my last gambling blowout i also downloaded an in app purchase game. So i purchased. I felt so low i didnt care. Whats this to do with gambling? Well, coz of the pressure of this bill, my head tells me "If only i could win a spare bit of cash". Tho its there, its just a thought. It upsets me. Im off that gambling merry go round nearly 3 wks now. Life is slowly improving. Hope a good nights sleep will help to get positive again GF.

Three weeks no bets on anything. My large phone bill didnt help matters today. The phone co. were very difficult to cope with. Stress levels very high i walked 20 mins to supermarket. Massive change for me, as normally i would have gambled all, once more!! I wanted to. Sought out sober good company. Got my head back on track. Home now, staying safe. Today is a warning shot for me, a reminder its a daily recovery.

Anybody out there? Really struggling. Very low. I MISS GAMBLING! Funny how my head forgets all the ****. Never been good at self patience. Im deep in trouble with gambling. Cant see wood thru the trees. Building up for a blow out. I can feel it. Will mean dire consequences. Homelessness, piles of debt and that self loathing. Win or lose i will know i've given in to that gambling itch. That is the worst feeling. Gamcare call tomoro maybe. Sleep needed now.

I'm here bud it's not easy but it will be worth it Gamcare are open till 12 give them a call now talk to someone they can help you

Think lack of patience is a problem for many problem gamblers. I feel your pain. When you feel the urges build try to phone GamCare, read the forum, read back your own posts, do something different for a few minutes that will make you think.

Try to go out with your friend as that helped last time, hand over finances or restrict funds available, build barriers higher.

Three weeks is great, if you need more help take everything available.

Thanks for the contact & support Glint. I haven't yet phoned gamcare. I know Im in trouble, but I wouldn't know where to start.
I did go to the art course with my friend. I enjoyed the activity, tho socially very challenging for me. Found it hard to absorb instruction. Trouble was, I beat myself up over my inadequecy feelings. Weds nite i was climbing the wall for a bet. No bets, but went to bed feeling miserable.
Thurs came. Sought counsel from a very old true friend. Again, cleared my head. Trouble has been, having money sat in my bank account ( all phone bill money) & nothing to spare. Plus ive always turned to gambling for any reason.
Anyway, today ive helped a friend with his gardening and garage.
Bank will take bill money over the weekend, which will be a blessing.
Some how im now 24days no bets at all. Really trying here. Thanks again. I get so much from other posts. Staying GF.

Really pleased to read that you didn't gamble. Could feel how much of a struggle it was for you.

Challenging yourself is a must. Dealing with gambling addiction is challenging; if you don't challenge yourself you will be taking the easy option and escaping back to gambling.

It's difficult but crucial that you keep challenging yourself and things will slowly become easier. Think phoning GamCare and the GamCare counselling might help you. It might not, but you have nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) might be worth a look. CBT can help with anxiety amongst other things.

Have a good weekend.