Easy does it!

Hi Smiler,

Thanks for the post. As you say put the blocks in place. I've changed my payments so they came out for practically as soon as I get paid, so that will be a great help.

Keep going yourself and keep strong mentally. Once we and everyone get ourself 'sorted out' a bit more on the financial front there's so much more we could do with our money.

Speak/read soon

JC

Very strange feeling this morning. I feel like part of me is missing. It is the compulsion to gamble, I know. It will come back, I'm sure. Feels strange that part of me is not there. I have to get used to it. re-learn how to live life. I'm thinking what am I going to do with spare time etc. Truth is I don't have any, I used to have to make time by cheating and lying. Not going to analyse it too much just adjust to feeling it. Got a busy day so I'll be safe even though I'm out of town I'll not be tasting the forbidden fruit just for today.

Hi Smiler.

That part of you that is missing smiler is a good thing.You don't need him.Keep going forward with out him and you'll soon have parts that were missing (good parts) back again.

Your so right about that"re-learn how to live life".Maybe not re-learn..you know the life you really want...its just been put on hold for so long.

It is a mind game this and once you can get your happy hat on again and start thinking logically things will fall into place.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery!

Viggo.

Hi smiler. Glad you are staying strong. I am of a similar view to yours, that this is with us for life but am hoping "the bit you are missing" fades into a distant memory instead.

somedays I do feel something is missing but try not to remember why as I am well aware that it didnt bring me any satisfaction only anxiety, bank overcharges and a feeling of no self worth.

So lets make new memories of things we are proud of an that we can discuss with others rather than having to hide away from.

Stay strong an one day at a time gamble free is good enough for me. Take care Jan xx

So what is there to miss???? yep

Some good words and thank you very much for your replies. The bit that's misssing leads to feelings of no self worth and that is a comfortable feeling that I "liked" or got used to. I have a battle on my hands when the urges come through but I'll be ready for them. Putting things in place to prevent the first bet is a great idea. Also being self aware of what I'm realy doing is essential to my staying gamble free. I am not too stressed at moment and have had plenty of chances to gamble if I wanted but managed to avert them easily. Hopefully I'll maintain this as the status quo. Keep it simple and take your time you have plenty of it!

No real thoughts to worry about today. I just got into my work and kept my head down. Payday as well but that's not really an issue. Issues occur when the urge kicks in. Just take your time with this you have forever!!

Hi smiler just read your diary, glad to hear your fighting your urges. Im still in the same mind of one little bet cant hurt but i know where it leads. Even last year id have a lot of good days just gambling with a few quid but it was just a way of keeping them doors open and then when i was ready to mess up the doors were blasted open and i was in trouble again. The only way forward is to stop completely. As you said you need a gap to get your mind right as well as finances right.

Anyway one day at a time no gambling, less stress, happy days!

Had to walk through a bookies today to get to one of our offices. Absolutely no compulsion to gamble but as I walked through I had a look at the screens and paraphanalia and I just could not understand what the attraction was there for me?

Sitting in my office this afternoon and I honestly thought I had had a bet. I realised after a while that I hadn't! It must be old behavioural thought patterns or something. The relief I felt once I realised. Bit like a dream and waking up or something. Not sure what I'm saying here but in my mind I know!!

How can you possibly get through a bookies to get to one of your offices?! That's weird!

Bet you were pleased when you 'woke up' and realised that it was a dream.

I have had dreams when I went back to gambling and won big. So how did I feel when I woke up?

Elated!

No, I was not disappointed that I had not really won big, I was just so pleased not to have broken my gambling-free run.

We all know what happens to big wins, don't we?

Have a great gamble-free weekend.

Getting There

Not had a bad weekend so far. Nothoughts of gambling even though I had a chance if I really wanted to. I can abstain for perieods at a time so not getting too carried away. I just need to maintain this level of non gambling. If an urge comes I have to ride the wave until it subsides. I will keep barriers in place. I don't need gambling in my life. If I ever won a life changing amount it would only fuel 24 hour FOBTism. I am happier living my life on an even keel. I gamble to hide from reality and no other reason. A madness that I need to overcome.

Must admit I looked at betting on the tennis but for no other reason than to se who is deemed favourite. I would not bet on this type of gambling as it isn't the quick hit I crave. I bet because I escape. I don't invest to make money. It is the bio-chemicals that need their hit and I'm winning the battle so far. It is just about having a good day for me not about beatingh gambling. How will I know when I;ve won if I were to treat it as a battle?

Hi smiler glad you survived yesterday I think Saturdays have to be the hardest although we must stay strong and determined every day. Enjoy the tennis. Stay strong.

Dave

Thanks Dave

My problem is binge betting. Once I start I cannot stop. The bug hits me and grips me. I do go for long periods but then I get caught out and I know I'm doing it. This time I do feel different as I have had lots of experience trying and trying to give up. I am where I want to be and I need to just stay there.

Another day in the real world without gambling thoughts driving me mad. Maybe coming here and typing this might start off thoughts etc. However if it works I'll stick with it!