Easy does it!

Smiler

Fella I could have written that myself this morning, I accept that everyone has to find their own way to keep abstaining, for me this forum is a great weapon in my armoury to keep making the right choice.

The advice you gift is sound, it is a pleasure to have you about the forum again.

Abstain and maintain my friend.

I hope normality has returned, read like you were going a bit 'stir crazy' for me this comes around when things happen that were not in the plans!!

Sometimes it is out of our control, from it, it is good to read the right choices are made.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

All good here matey just the usual B/S from car dealer where it was getting fixed but I have no control over them only myself so I let it go. Normality is good for me and hopefully everyone else finds a nice easy rest of today in store

Take care

Hi smiler,

I never contributed to your diary begore, but i see that you are strong and kind soul fighting the good fight for the better future you trully deserve. You are real inspiration and i take much out of your wise words on your diary.

Keep doing what you doing, brilliant progress

All the best

Take care

Day at a time

Sandra x

Drove by an old haunt today and the FOBTs are just by the door. I saw two guys debating the next number or whatever their game was in depth!

I smiled as I carried on by and never gave it another thought!

Good day

Take care

I liken gambling to a computer program that used to be running in the background. I have had some good jobs in the past but had to resign because of the whirring in the background of gambling. I didn't realise it at the time but through counselling I realised that gambling was always with me. Somehow I have closed the program down and it no longer slows me down in my life. It can be shut down if we keep trying, however it is easily started up again with one bet placed. Keep moving forward everyone

Take care

Since I stopped gambling I have managed to pay off a big debt, moved house and had some nice holidays. I never thought I would have said that but I did. Gambling really got a hold of me and I was obsessed with it morning, noon and night. The ironic thing about this is I have no interest in horse racing, greyhounds etc. I have even lost interest in football since getting into recovery. I am in the process of cancelling Sky as I now value the pounds in my pocket. The obsession has lifted and I no longer fixate on getting to the bookies. I used to gamble badly before FOBTs and when they first appeared thought they were rubbish and never entertained them. It didn't take me long to get hooked. Trouble was I had a problem from an early age with gambling and it is no one's fault but my own. I caused the devastation in my life and each and every day I work to repair this. It is and always will be a work in progress

Take care

Slowly, slowly I strive through recovery with some idea of direction. I used to have no idea and just thought if I stay away from gambling the rest will fall into place. It was hard to start with but as the time between last gamble and now got bigger the urges left me. I now focus on the future and leave the past behind. I don't forget though as that could be complacent of me. In my time in recovery I have had a couple of nice holidays, next month debt free and moved into a bigger house. This would never have been possible if I gambled. When I first got serious about recovery I used to read posts like this and the resentments grew. If you are just starting out in recovery please give yourself some time and the good stuff happens. It won't happen by miracle it takes time and hard graft. But I promise if you don't gamble you have a great chance of getting whatever you want from your life. Please take care and be on your guard.

Just had a look back at an old diary from 2008 and the pain I was in was tremendous. Every post was a cry for help. I have realised how far I have come in recovery but how easy it is if I want the pain and misery back. One day at a time is all any one has in recovery so get out and enjoy a gamble free day today

I recently read my first diary on here from 2008 and the pain I was in is so apparent it is hard for me to associate with it. I have come a long way since then and done so by taking it easy as I go. It hasn't been all good and there have been mistakes along the way but I am here today and in a better space than back then. I even went through a phase of hating this forum as I thought I couldn't survive without it. My addictive mind wanted me away and won for some time but I got back here a couple of years ago. I really don't count as it isn't important to me. I am a non gambler and a survivor rather than a victim who hasn't gambled for X amount of days. If you are new here please stick around as it gets better as you go.

Take care

It really upsets me to come onto the diary section and see new members diaries half way down the page with few replies. New people are key to yours and mine recovery. They tell me how much pain is there if I want to return. It reminds me of the pain I felt when I gambled. We have to encourage new people to post and stop them from thinking this is an exclusive club for people in the know!

Hi Smiler think I remember you from a few years ago, though my short term memory is terrible due to my alcoholism. Glad to see your sailing in calmer waters, I realise the pain and madness this disease causes yet i continue to do it, madness insanity doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. I need to sober up, im sitting in work bloodshot eyes, hung over, feeling sorry for myself, looking after the kids last night, wife out, got drunk went to local garage bought scratch cards! didnt lose much but the point is i gambled. almost feel like killing myself as i dont trust myself and am not in good terms with life currently. BUT i have stopped for 6 months b4 and was in a better place. So today im leaving my cards at work in the safe, taking 40 quid to do me the wk end, phoning counsellor to orgainse appt, and most importantly not going to take a drink tonight. wife this morning was wondering what was all the mess around the house , it was all the residue from my scratch cards. madness

Another saturday rolls round and for some it will be a struggle to see it come and go. Try keeping it easy if you are struggling. When you get through you will feel a sense of accomplishment and will grow in yourself. It takes time but we have plenty of that in recovery. It is not quantity we seek but quality. Make sure you do something worthwhile today even if it is a small thing. Feel good about not gambling

Take care

Hi Smiler thank you for your comments on my diary. Your proof that not gambling works I could learn a lot from you. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Thanks for dropping by. If you read as much as you can on here you'll learn from everyone and everything. Do not discount anything even if you don't like it. We are all different and some things work and other things don't.

Again I start to worry about work and yet I cannot physically do anymore than I am. I have posted this before and it is illogical but that is the way my mind works. I have cleared up tremendous amounts of debt since recovery and moved to a bigger house and have nice holidays. I just need to believe in myself. I am not on a downer I think it is because a silly little debt will be cleared this Friday and I feel vulnerable. This is not a gambling debt but without the gambling from years ago this debt would have not existed. Take care

Since returning and looking at these diaries I have been deep in thought as to why I gambled. It was running away from responsibility I guess. Trouble is we take the full force of our gambling actions once the dust settles. However I felt in a comfort zone once the dust settled. It was as if I wouldn't allow myself to move on and enjoy what little success came my way. Today I keep a steady ship and don't get carried away as this leads to me getting hyper and tending to ant to gamble. I steer an even road neither up or down. This is not good for my gambling mind but good for my normal head. It is OK to walk through life and enjoy it for what it is. It ain't the same as hitting the big win but big wins were not good for me. Calm waters is the order of the day. Even when someone really winds me up I cannot allow that to consume me. It is their prerogative to be an idiot (in my opinion) so I have to let things go. I can only do my bit in my life and be accountable for my actions. Keep my own house in order if you like. After that I have no control on life's events. Take care