Ending the hell

Hi Graham,

It was last week I finally saw 'sense' also. I stumbled across this site and the diaries really helped me too so I started my own one up!

I am trying to look into what a gamble free future would hold and despite my current problems that light looks very bright, despite distant!

I am 5 days gamble free and feeling very positive. Keep posting and stay strong, you definitely are not alone.

Here is to a gamble free future and getting rid of this horrible beast

I am feeling a bit lost today iam not use to not gambling and I find it hard knowing what to fill my free time with now,today is now day 4 for me and iam just trying to take it hour by hour not to give in to thoughts of gambling, I know the thoughts pass in time, I need a new hobby any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks graham

Hiya Graham, well done on starting a diary mate. I am on day 27 without a bet and like you life is very empty. I have wasted 17 years and pushed everybody away so I am bound to find life empty. All I can suggest is that it will take time to fill the void. We have caused ourselves so much harm over the years, so there is no quick fix. But I am sure that as the days, weeks and months grow that life will get better and we will find a way to fill the void.

Maybe you could join a gym, start a college course, do some voluntary work? I guess you need to find something that works for you.

Keep strong mate

Going out of my mind here wanting to gamble it's all I can think about it's driving me mad, I hate this feeling my head is buzzing. Please support me

Hi JG

Try phoning 0808 8020 133 Gamcare and speaking to an advisor. It will be a weight off your mind and you'll realise you are not alone in this situation. Hope you get through till tomorrow and you'll be a little stronger for it.

Take care

Well this time last week was my last day gambling I have done a week free from it but they urges are so intense they are making me dizzy I just wish the urges would go, the problem is I don't know what to do with my free time now as all I ever did was gamble gamble gamble I need something new to do, I hope this pain goes away the pain of not gambling it's stupid I feel the need to gamble. Advice please fellow friends

Firstly, well done on your first week. It can be incredibly tough at first, but weighing up the the benefits and disadvantages, will only tell you the same thing over and over...it just isn't worth gambling. There are no benefits for this bug. You've done the right thing in stopping. It's worth it in the long run. Gambling is just endless cycle that only winds up with you getting chewed up and spat out.

A week is great milestone. As hard as it'll be, put those thoughts of another bet to one side and mull your time over as a gambler. Go back in your head, write in the diary your thoughts. This is a pivotal time. Whatever may be, stick this out. I guarantee, you can beat this.

If you need something to do, put youself into a new hobby. Write down a list of things you'd like to do, how you'd change your life from this moment on. Put your head in a book, watch a dvd boxset. That's just a few suggestions, but I hope it helps.

All the best

Alex

Thank you Alex for replying to me everything you say is spot on. I want to start enjoying my free time and start some new hobbies I have not figured out a hobby yet but iam working on that, gambling has really sucked the life from me for 13 years or so and it never gave me anything but heart ache a lot of debt, made me dishonest not care about anything, I think the problem with my brain is that I only seem to remember the good times when gambling my mind seems to block out the bad if I could turn the way I think around that might work just think about all the bad when the urges strike, the times I have cried my self to sleep.

Thanks for listening friends

Hi Jones

i have read your posts and i feel that you are still very wound up.

Just stop and take a breath.

These urges might seem really strong but they are not going to put a bet on for you - only you have the control to do that so for right now tell yourself that you have decided that you will not do that today.

You are in control.

Go for a walk, clear your head and keep telling yourself that you can do this. You do not need gambling in your life.

These urges will get lesser and lesser with each day you do not gamble.

I am 37 days gamble free and the first week was by far the hardest. I now feel like everything has slowed down. I jumped off that rollercoaster and now I can start to see what really matters. My mind was caving in 5 weeks ago and I just didnt know what to do but I came on here and met some inspiring people and learned from those that came through the other side.

You can do this- have faith in yourself and keep posting.

We will all support you and be there every day if you want it.

Linda x

I totally understand about how you say you only remember the 'good' times as apposed to the bad. Truthfully, there are aren't any good times really though and that's important to accept. You might have won big or felt elation at some points, but that's the poison for us. It kept us going back..and losing not just money, but ourselves.

I remember going for months living on very little or nothing as I gambled money away and it's still been very detrimental to my situation now. Yet for months during my two years as a gambler, I blocked all of that out and continued on as if it never happened. And that is the behavior of a problem gambler.

What you've done by coming here is recognizing the bad side of it all and are now blocking out the good, and as said, there is no good to come from gambling..EVER! It's a vicious cycle which you are starting to break right now. Continue on with your journey and you'll do well here.

Stay strong and keep on with your recovery.

I messed up yesterday 18/01/2014 I gambled it was so mad I don't know why I did it, i feel so bad that I slipped back in to it, but it has made me want to stop for good even more it was all a blur it's was so upsetting when I realised what I had done, I never want to go back to that hell again iam so sorry I slipped I understand if no one wants to support me anymore I have let everyone down,

Today was day one and I have got through it.

Thanks graham

self exclusion was the first step in my recovery! Try and do it. it makes it easier

I second the last post, as I've found self-exclusion very self-empowering.

You've done the right thing though, Graham. Coming back is what you need to do. It took me some time to come around to the idea that I just couldn't gamble anymore and sometimes you slip back into your old ways of addictive thinking and mess up. I did it twice last year. Went weeks and months without gambling and boom...but, I never felt I was back to square one with all this. Slips are a temporary. Use it as you've said as a motivator for stopping your gambling problem.

A day at time, Graham. It gets easier along the way.

Thank you for your replies back to me it really keeps me going, well iam in costa coffee at the moment and I have my photos ready to go and self exclude iam going to have this coffee and then start self excluding got a few betting places to go to but iam really glad iam taking this step as iam sure it will be a massive step forward, I don't want to destroy my life any more with this stupid gambling addiction. Today I feel positive and full of hope this is day two for me and I never want to have to say its day two again ! I really look forward to your replies and kindness, I will report back later.

Graham