Festina Lente

Hi Ste,

Thanks for the post and support on my diary, hope you have recovered from the spin cycle and hyding in the washing machine...

I know that man Mr Tylon he was the hoarder wasnt he ? God it broke my heart that programme but then i did once cry at an advertisement lol.....

Hope your well and the leg is getting back to some kind of normal.

Blondie day 56

No post from you in 36 hours roughly thats not like you mate hope alls well and your just out fishing or visiting your mum 4 her birthday

Day 75 and I just left the coach Ronnie, it wasn't easy but everyone's finally left smiling. Going to lie down now with a bag of frozen peas to cool everything down.

In reality I've been busy today. Got up early to go to the hospital. From there I went straight to the gym and baths. After that I slipped into my new army suit and crawled my way to a fishing pond and spent 7 lovely hours there. All in all a good day, never gambled, never wanted to either. I've had a 75 day taste of what it's like to be a non gambler and it's good, I want more and I'm prepared to work for it. Ive tried to self exclude myself from the local cake shop after over and I mean OVER indulging on cake at my mother's birthday party. That and the junk food bonanza I had with Maisie has sent me into insulin meltdown. I was drunk on cake, couldn't stop myself, it was fabulous. The cake shop assistant asked me why I wanted to self exclude so I leaned over and swung my hairy breasts at her. She tutted and winced before telling me that self exclusion wasn't a policy before passing me my usual (2 vanilla slices and a strawberry t**t, delicious). I eased my way through the door and skipped back home, dodging my breasts along the way and ignoring the workmens whistles from the nearby scaffolding.

I hope you're all well and life is treating you good, take care, don't be foolish and gamble, it'll take you back to all that misery and self loathing, remember how bad it was, I do even though it fades with time, stay resilient,

Nanoo Nanoo, Mork calling mindy, over and out, Steve.

Morning Steve, you never fail to make me laugh, your posts are a real tonic, and I love a vanilla slice too !!

Your words are so inspiring, and a massive congrats on being 76 days bet free, way to go friend 🙂

Hope the bones aint too stiff today from the fishing yesterday, and hope all went well for you at the hospital. Take it easy buddy.

Cameron

Ohhhhh Steve..............

You done it again!

I was reading the diaries at 4 this morning feeling pretty cr** but once i read yours i had tears streaming down my face, not with sadness but with laughter, i actually laughed out loud, scared the cat who then jumped up and stratched my face in panic !

I just love reading what happens next..... it makes this journey bearable in bad times and i want to thank you for all your support

You are continuing to remain bet free and appear to be enjoying life again, with the many trials and tribulations you go through i think your pretty amazing!

Keep Strong Steve and please continue with your stories cause in the darkest hours it's just what i and i'am sure many others need!

Thanks again

Lucy

Hi Steg, thanks for your thoughtful post and your concern, it really is appreciated.

I am fine, just reassessing the process I am going through, don't really feel like posting too much at the moment, but not feeling down about what happened, more resolute but unsure which way to go forward. Just need some thinking time.

Glad to see you are in fine fettle and your approach is one to be admired.

Thanks again

Jon

Good evening Steve, hope alls well in "stegland".C

Couldn't agree more with Lucy, your posts are so uplifting, you have a brilliant attitude to life, and you never fail to bring a little cheer into what is sometimes a dull and dreary life.

Defo know you will not be gambling, your too strong for that, so whatever it is your doing, I wish you well.

All the best

Cameron

STEP AWAY FROM THE CAKES lol

Happy 75th ste, Rolling down hi lls really is the way forward you must try it sometime I know it would of been something my dad would of done so i suppose it was in honour of him.

You never ever fail to make me laugh i think its essential to recovery to retain a sense of humour, its funny because each time you post i start to build up a mental picture , so now when i go out walking the dog (there is a fishing lake there), i always keep an eye out for a man wearing a camaflage suit from the car boot but you would never know holding his 99p fishing tackle in one hand his cream cakes in the other and then putting them down because he is scratching his horse fly bites , but most of all i look for a glow... someone who is smiling and happy and content.

You are such a great assest to this site, everyone should read your diary who are embarking on there recovery journey, you make me lol you inspire me to keep going and for that i thank you.

nanooo nanooooo Shazbot !!!!

Blondie day 57

Just realised, In a dream, why England are doing so well, none of us unlucky gamblers have put a bet on them. Toilet, camomile lotion (d**n bites) then back to sleep. Don't you just love insomnia! Keep strong, keep snoring, keep dreaming, Steve.

Hi Steve, thanks for popping in to mine, "robbery with a smile", another great way of describing Mr Gamble. It s the age old 'wolf in sheeps clothing' is gambling, pretending to be Mr nice guy, when all it really is is a poison that destroys our souls and strips us of our identity, takes our every last shred of decency amongst so many other things, and then, and only then, is it satisfied.

"At least d**k Turpin wore a mask", as they say up here !!

Love your attitude to life and not gambling, I draw strength and inspiration from your words, so keep it going friend 🙂

Sorry the flies have been having a feed off you again - I believe vinegar is supposed to help take the itch out - seriously. I know you will see that as an opener for a joke, and I can't wait for what you come back with !!

Have a great day buddy, catch up with the zzzzzz's.

Cameron

DO NOT GAMBLE

YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU !!!

Lol over and over again.

What a way to start a day , thanks for that !

Dusty xxxxxxx

Lovely weather, doing a 20 mile trip to a flea market, the dog's got none left, b*m, b*m. 76 days bet free, 1976 was a great year, endless sunshine, great music, bad haircuts. I was there in my purple flares and yellow vest running through the parched fields without a care in the world. It was the time of Marc bolan, ziggy stardust, you could wear make up and you're mum's boots and people would love you. But when I do it now kids chase you through the streets shouting obscenities and you get home to find someone's posted another dog t**d through your letterbox. Yes 76 is a good day, a good year. A year when Rhyl beach, despite the weather was deserted because 'Jaws' was running at the local cinema. 3 channels on the tv, no fobt's, full employment, cheap fuel and Noel Edmonds wasn't on the telly everyday. 76 is, was a great number, glad I got here with baby steps, you earn that number, not easy, people know, others will follow.

Take care one and all, the journey in life continues with twists and turns along the way, enjoy the journey, keep afloat, we're all in this together, failing is not an alternative. Steve, looking forward to 77, tomorrow, for those who are not good with numbers.

Ahhh '76.. I remember it well.. and it makes me feel bloody old!

I can just imagine you in your combat gear, with high heels and make up! Scaryyyyy! I reckon you're pretty lucky it's only dog t**d that comes through your letterbox in that get up!

Well done on 76 days Steve, you're doing brill!

Lmm

eeee them were the days *said in a fred dibner northern accent *.

It was acceptable for boys to wear eyeliner and tight pants with them couloured belts that you used to let hang down... I think i had my bay city roller pants on and baseball boots or was that the late 70's. I heard a record on the radio on my way home last night which took me right back to my "Youth club days" where all the girls would stand in a line and do the same dance , i think we still had our handbags in the middle at 13 lol.

I hope 76 is another day of enlightenment for you ste, I orginated from a quite a rough area in the north and it was common to have lots of things put through your letter box mostly they was on fire though lol.

Blondie x

YAWN!!! Goodnight all, been with my daughter all day, tried to lose her in Morrisons but she got to the Tannoy lady before I could get to the car. With her now at her bedside, she likes me to be there whilst she nods off, reassurance I guess or she thinks I'll slip off and go fishing, I'd never do that, I've no bait. Seriously though she is lovely, can't believe I'm her dad sometimes, feel so lucky, hard work though and she eats my cakes.

I think I've reached that point now where the nagging has left my addiction. That voice in your head which begged you to gamble, the routine and habit has been broken too as I've changed my lifestyle along the way. It is lovely being this free from that manic roller coaster. The greatest danger now, I feel, is complacency or an emotional trigger which will plunge me back into a 'devil may care' self destructive mode. So I'm free but not totally relaxed, happy but slightly wary. Still great though, 11 weeks tomorrow I made a great decision and with support and determination I've travelled a long way.

Ahh, thank heavens, she's asleep now, definitely got my snoring gene bless her, wake the dead it would. My angel.

Steve