Festina Lente

Cheers Blondie. My old (not so old actually) friend got a good send off. His children did him proud with their eulogies, he would have loved it.

Before his cremation I killed some time by hitting the nearby shopping centre. Nature called sadly and I had no option but to use a nearby bookmakers . It felt strange walking in but because I was riding a camel I didn't have time for reminiscing. It did feel strange though being back in a place were I'd wasted so much time. I considered doing a dirty protest in the lav but thought better of it and just left without flushing as some sort of tame protest. I smiled at the cashier on the way out and she smiled back. Unfortunately it wasn't until I reached the crem I realised I'd tucked in my suit into the back of my trousers, like a woman does with her dress and tights. How embarrassing.

Despite popping into a bookies I never once felt tempted, it felt good. I've absolutely no intention of going back in again for I haven't got a spoon long enough to sup with the devil, and I want Lazarus to keep on enjoying life.

Take care all, nighty night, steg

Day 124, I've now not gambled for more than a third of a year. That's huge 1/3 of a year. I love fractions, this is a legacy of horse racing I suppose. My next target date is 150. Nice clean number, 26 days left.

The dieting is still on track despite a 'Super Saturday Meltdown,' never do anything by half. I cracked big time, in the space of a couple of hours I'd consumed an Indian takeaway with all the trimmings, five ice creams all washed down with a bottle of Jacobs creek. Naughty but nice. When I *** and give in to temptation a little is never enough. Despite this wonderful setback (hope it happens again this Saturday, it was great) I've still managed to trim 6lbs off the old frame in two weeks which is ahead of schedule. I'm really enjoying this challenge, it's hard but motivates you at the same time, plus despite the misery of self denial I feel physically better besides being slightly lighter can only be good for my back and legs.

Hey enough of my yakking, time I went out, Maisie again tomorrow so a little bit of 'me time' is in order. I can honestly say that whatever life throws at me today, I'll not gamble, hope you don't too.

Take care amigos

Stevo

Self excluded from Greggs and Sayers

Morning,

Great post highlighting some of the things gambling takes away which we often forget or remember much later! I have not visited Gregg's since I stopped gambling whilst gambling I considered shares on the place sausage rolls, doughnuts, thought I was being healthy when I went for a veg pasty! Let myself go a bit! Now I've stopped leaving work at lunchtime and eat properly starting to feel like I can challenge you and dunc for title of gamcare heartthrob 2012!

Keeping yourself really busy right now and it's just

Great progress all round easing through the 90 day thread so far and always staying 3 days ahead of me! Loved the horses myself but hadn't considered the fractions makes it feel like another milestone has been reached so thanks for that!

Have yourself a busy YOU day all freshened up for the little lady tomo!

Flagg

Wit woooo eh Gamcare hearthrobs... I think steg would be Mr August, with a strategically placed leaf and a big sunshine smile, Fishing rod in hand.. ahemmm !!! and a glint of mischief in his eyes.

The ladys would be dropping at your feet, just after you tripped them all up lol..

Enjoy your you day steg, and thanks for the post and advice, you were right. 🙂

Blondie x

Hiya Steve...

Thank you for posting to me....neighbour....lol

We've never been formally introduced but I always catch your posts on others diaries and have started to read your diary too....

Yes..going back to my old haunting ground and all those places you say I shall be adding to my walking list...Calderstones my usual so if you see some mad woman shouting "Dotteeeeeee" at the top of her voice then you can pretty much hazard a guess at who that will be....and run a mile ; )

I used to have a business off Smithdown many moons ago but I have not settled in the city for many years and especially since the huge facelift!! love it.

I will be like a newbie ....went to a couple of Gam anon meets near the Grafton last year as my married pals live West Derby way.

Your posts always are full of life despite your Goth appearance?? and do give me a chuckle...I know things have been a bit tough for you recently but you are doing fab Steve....

Looking forward to seeing GC "Calander Boys"..Mr August.......My heart belongs to Mr March..lol ..

Onwards and upwards Mr. Lazurus...

Rach and Doo x'xx

A nice day rounded off with an evening fishing. Caught three big, double figure carp as well so I'm over the moon. Killed 7 horseflies as well so I'm equally delighted with that tally. I must admit that I'm enjoying life at the moment. Everyone goes through good times and bad times, the wheel is forever turning but it's nice at the mo' so I'm pleased with that.

My year of rehabilitation and indeed freedom is nearing its end. This time next month I'll be focusing on returning to work. I will definitely miss all this 'freedom' for when I work I dedicate myself to it and what with looking after Maisie half the week, time will be drastically squeezed. I met a couple of head teachers at yesterday's funeral who offered me work, which was very kind but what I'm really interested in are new challenges. I prefer the unknown, I find it stimulating and motivating too. I've looked at a few schools already and there's one that appeals to me, only because it has it's own fishing pond in its grounds, I think I'll start there. To be a teacher you have to multi task and I'm pretty certain that I could teach and fish through an open window simuteaneuosly.

I don't know if I'll be as good as a teacher as I once was, I've changed a lot this year as a person. Mentally, I've become more relaxed, content, less concerned about education. I can't see myself becoming gung ho about meeting targets, attaining results, enforcing rules etc. I'm more laid back now, not irresponsible and I want to stay that way. The future belongs to me, I've been given a second chance, Lazarus, what will be will be. It'll be challenging but in a good way and as long as I don't lose my perspective then it'll be fun too.

What a ramble, thoughts released, lights out, spiderman pj's on, bo bo's.

He looked beneath his shirt today

There was a wound in his flesh so deep and wide

From the wound a lovely flower grew

From somewhere deep inside

http://www.youtube.com/watch?…26C&feature=results_video

Stay well... a little drunk here... seemed appropriate at the time.

Jon

Day 125, still can't get used to my hair, it looks like a cheap black wig, the type you'd get in the pound shop. I could shave it all off and start again but it's quite long now, much to the disgust of Maisie I've been wearing Alicebands for the last month, so the drastic shave isn't an option. Going for Maisie soon, I'll let her decide.

Today I'll not gamble, not even with my hair

Morning oh risen one.

Your very brave letting maisie decide lol pity i cant bribe her in some way as i would definatly go for the pigtail look with a few pink bows on top, it would really match your nails..

Come on maisie pick something really camp to go with that walk.. lol

Enjoy your day wiggy bardo...

Blondie x

hi Steve

Am profiling you already and think the chances of spotting you on the streets on Liverpool may be a doodle...lol

lol....M15 onto me for sure... already public enemy number one for selling all those nasty organic foods and vits and mins that may keep humans alive...deviant I am..; )

My best male pal went to West Derby..the boys school as did his bro..both in early 40's now.Also there is that girls school..Holly lodge? right?..my other male pal went to Highfield...

I came to the city in the 90's and was one of those annoying students that never really went home..an 18 year stint on the wirral before moving over to the Cheshire spud plains..

I shall enjoy my old haunts on Lark Lane and yes..Crocky...never been there though but will wear

bullet proof vest.

Sounds like Maisie is definately calling the shots and im sure you get dragged round all the girlie shops..lol..I do know that dolls house one ....but hey ..our little secret if really its for you.

I see your into your fishing too Steve....got onto Spam yet??..wink wink

My ex had a garage full ..trade secret which I've now just exposed...mwwwhahahahahah

He was also was into models mainly remote control helicopters...but once made me a matchstick wooden spitfire which was meant to be symbolic of his spirited lady ...I smashed it up in temper once after a row ..so yes.. life imitating art...lol.

Anyhoooo.....nice chatting to you ..

Onwards and upwards and still imagining your new hair doo...perhaps starting again ??

One consolation...at least its not crop rotation like Rooney...lol

Rach and er Doo like...

Bubble and Squeak xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0Y24BIn-7w

Try this one:... not writing out the lyrics again... too sober for that... and stiff from hitting too many golf balls.

Jon

PS:

He looked beneath his shirt today

There was a wound in his flesh so deep and wide

From the wound a lovely flower grew

From somewhere deep inside

Hi steve,

Just popping in 2 say I hope u r ok 🙂

I hope u r getting more use 2 ur hair now lol 🙂

I'm sure Maisie is keeping u busy!

Have a gr8 day 🙂

Hi Steve

Love the knew name, very apt, I think you will make a wonderful laid back teacher, an excellent role model and thats 90% of the job, good luck

John

Good morning ,

Reading your last post , about you going back to teaching .

Think you are right in that after your year off and not gambling that you will have changed as a person.

But only on the surface , I have no doubt that the passion you have for your job is still there . Only now it will not be mixed in with thoughts of gambling or the thoughts of the damage your last session caused .

It would make sence to me that without the gambling googles on that everything else in life becomes clearer like a picture coming into focus.

Not saying it will be easy , but with your humor , your determination and your obvious love of teaching , I think you will be best you can be .

Shiny xxxxxxx

Day 130, easy, treble twenty, single twenty, bullseye for the crowd.

Rip Sid Waddell

Steve, still going strong