Final Chance

Day 25 ..... Still very much on the right track no gambling thoughts which is always a good place to be, no doubt there will be tests around the corner, but do feel better equipped to deal with them this time out, just for today i will not gamble.

Day 26 nearly done ..... no thoughts to gamble , just regret but cant do anything about the past can only make sure the future is brighter by remaining gamble free, sad to gamcare friends struggle and know its a fine line we walk each and every day as we battle our demons ... will keep fighting hard theres nothing else for it ....

Day 28 ...... weekend here again but feeling ok , blocks in place and know it would be extreamly difficult for me to bet online (dont go into bookies), still a case of taking it one day at a time and trying to look forward and not dwell to much in the past ...

Glad to see today nearly over. always find the weekends the hardest with all the football on and had the first real urges for a while,but the blocks in place are doing there job ..... trying to be more positive and know things can only get better the longer i remain gamble free, hate the person gambling turns me into and dont want to go back there.

Day 29 nearly done & dusted ......A big part of me always going back to gambling has been me not being able to fully let go of money lost, this has been a big factor in why i always seem to relapse, but i now feel i am at a point where i can draw a line under past mistakes and move on with the rest of my life, will be living on a tight buget for the cosiderable future because of my actions and this will be a reminder to me of the damage gambleing has done to me ...... know i can rebuild things with time and hard work but only by remaining gf, which i know wont be easy, but its what i intend to do.

Morning Diary .... Day 31 gamble free , still very much on the right track no real tests yet but know they will come in the future and feel better prepared to deal with them this time out ... still taking it one day at a time and hoping to see my day count rack up as i distance myself further from my last bet.

Hello Diary ... Day 33 gf .... had a really good councilling session this morning,best one i have had yet, really good to talk to someone and get things off my chest .... things going well at the minute, feeling alot more positive in myself , but sitll plenty of regret at past events but realise now i cant change the past but can make sure the future is brighter .... really hate what gambling has done to me, time to be a little kinder to myself and cut myself some slack.

Those days are starting to add up at a rapid pace mate glad to hear your feeling better after your counselling,only you can stop yourself from gambling and you need you to feel good about yourself,otherwise if you keep thinking about what was lost it will inevitably get you down,as you say we can't change the past only try and have a better future.

Morning Diary .... of on a health & safety course for work today, an all day affair which means there will be no temptation to gamble today even though its the weekend with all the sport on .... still going well for me at the minute, blocks firmly in place and doing there job ... will be living on a budget for a while yet, but guess thats better than not living at all which was the case while i was gambling ... happy weekend to all my gamcare friends.....

Congratulation Chartom on your good progress. Positive and determined with blocks in place. 36 days since your last bet and even before that you were doing really well.

Hope you enjoyed the Health & Safety course yesterday. Imagine if compulsive gamblers had to fill out a 'risk assessment' before placing a bet ! That would be difficult to get the head around.

Take care...stephen

Evening Diary ..... Day 37 glad to say still gamble free, things still going along nicely, things are by no means perfect and money worries remain but know things would be a lot worse if i was still gambling, still a day at a time approach which seems to be working for me at the minute and am starting to be a little kinder to myself again after 5 years of punishment ... today i am a winner as i havent gambled .....

Hello Diary ...... Day 39 for me today, no thoughts to gamble just of regret of the position i have put myself into yet again, things are going along ok at the minute and the blocks i have in place are very much doing there job, still finding it hard to replace the time i spent gambling with other things and know i need to cut myself a little slack at times but am seeing things slowly improve the longer i stay gamble free ...... must look forward and try not to dwell to much on the past.

Hello Diary ..... Been having my first real thoughts to gamble in quite a while lately, thinking how easily i could recoup some of money, blocks have been a saving grace for me and eventually that pesky devil on my shoulder has P****d off .... have to learn how to deal with those urges as they are always going to pop up now and again, anyway day 40 today and will try and keep busy and my mind on other things, theres nothing else for it......

Congratulations Chartom. Keep going forward and see what the future has in store for you.

Forty days gamble free is quite a significant step in your journey.

Take care ...stephen

Morning Diary ..... Do i want to gamble today ? YES ..... Am i going togamble today ? NO ......Really do find the weekends harder to get through but learning to deal with them is part and parcel of my journey, like us all on here sometimes wish i could turn back the time to when gambling was not a problem for me, but whats done is done and i need to draw a line and move on which i admit i am finding hard to do .... on a more positive note onto day 42 gf and heading in the right direction, know life will start to get better for me the longer i remain without a bet as it has done in the past .... have a good weekend folks...