Final Chance

Day 58 .... start of a new week one which i will do my upmost to remain gamble free not much else to say really will keep fighting of those pesky urges there is nothing else for it, know the damage it will cause if i dont.

Well done Chartom, good positive post and congratulations on 58 days

Wilsy

Morning Diary .... day 60 gamble free, been a hard few days for me with some issues in my personal life where in the the past i might have turned to gambling but have built up a strong resolve these past 60 days and am learning to deal with things differenty ...... still do think get strong urges especially at the weekend but the help of this forum and the blocks i have in place are a great help,still living with the shame and regret of my past actions which i feel do hold me back a little but each day i manage gf means i am a winner.

Congratulations Chartom. 60 days gamble free is a massive step forward....stephen

Day 63 gf ...... feeling ok today with little or no thought to gamble but am cautious because i have been here before many times and know how things can change pretty quickly.... nothing much planned for today as feeling a bit under the weather, will watch my team on the telly and have a lazy saturday and rest up.... will try not to dwell to much in the past as i tend to do to much and cut myself a bit of slack .

Day 65 gf ....... start of another new week one which i will do my upmost to remain gamble free, have to keep making the right choices which can be hard sometimes, but will keep going in the right direction and know things will improve for me in the long term ... regret still remains but cant do anything to change the past .

Morning Diary .... day 67 still on the right track has not been easy by any means and do still get urges to gamble pretty often but the big differance for me this time as opposed to previous times is the blocking software which without i would most definataly have gave in and gambled, really has been the main reason i am still gamble free ... will be paying for my past actions for years to come but know things will get better for me as long as i keep making the right choices, will keep fighting.

Well done on 67 days, won't we all suffer for years in most cases for our past actions, that is the hardest thing but by doing what you are doing, you'll make a better life for yourself, I'll support you where i can.

Wilsy

Thanks Wilsy for the support means alot to know i am not fighting this alone ...

Morning Diary .... day 68, feeling a bit down/ low at the minute dont really know why, have had gambling thoughts but trying hard to dismiss them, its around this time in my past recovery attempts that i have relapsed so very much on my guard, blocks still firmly in place which are a godsend to me as without them i would be back to square one without a doubt, trying hard to look forward and not to dwell to much in the past...... one day at a time.

Hi Chartom, I am down and low as well today, I think my depression was brought about because of gambling and it's just hard to recover from, some days I feel okay but 2-3 days a week I wake up feeling c**P and there isn't any particular reason. Our brains are wired in a particular way I guess, years of gambling has warped our minds and we just can't stop thinking about the past pains, money lost and the mess we've made with our lifes. My advice just ride out the bad days or get on anti-depressants to take the edge of things, I often take myself to bed early to write the day off and the following day I often feel better. Life is so difficult for everyone but extra harder for addicts and people struggling with mental illness.

Hang in there buddy, each day you don't gamble your life will improve

Wilsy

Thank you for posting on my diary Chartom. It is good that we can identify with our fellow travellers and understand where they're coming from.

You are coming up to10 weeks gamble free. Feeling nervous and apprehensive because you have relapsed at this point before. I would guess we all encounter these doubts and misgivings.

I know that I will feel the same passing certain milestones, 50 days has been a stumbling block on a couple of occasions and so has150 days and half a year.

Alarm bells start ringing on these occasions but our strength lies in being forewarned. We know we are likely to be tempted to gamble but by keeping our resolve we can safely pass through the danger unscathed.

We've relapsed before and it has left us feeling wretched. Let's see what it feels like to stay gamble free for a while. No matter how bad a day is it will only last 24 hours and if we get a few bad days in a row than so be it. We will just have to knuckle down and get through it. Remember that all things do pass and in time to come we can maybe look back on this journey with a smile on our faces.

Take care, stay strong and keep going forward.

Hope you have a good day my friend, stay positive

Wilsy

Congratulations Chartom on 10 weeks gamble free. Come rain or shine you have kept going forward and that's not always easy. Well done on your excellent progress.

Thank you Stephen and Wilsy for your kind words it means alot....

Morning Diary 10 weeks gamble free today and this is where the hard work begins, as in the past a find the early part of my recovery pretty easy but when i reach about where i am now i always start to struggle and the temptation to gamble grows stronger, will try my best to learn from my past efforts and reniforce the blocks i have in place...... i have felt that gambling devil try and awaken himself inside me recently but will keep fighting to keep him at bay,really have no other choice if i want to get my life back ..... wishing everyone a good weekend.

Day 72 nearly complete, been a busy day so no thoughts to gamble which is always good, nothing much more to say really still pushing on in the right direction.